I forgot to write this entry last week

Went to Aunties the other day (a week ago already?) with Dollface and we ended up eating with some dudes we know and they are so, so funny that I couldn't finish my food on account of I kept choking on my food from laughing too hard. That is the best. Also, painful.

Anyway, I put my fingers in this dude's omelet

because their new joke is to poke at your food going "that looks good!" but except he took it too far and touched my breakfast tacos!

Man, we were so excited to see our food!

"look I'm the happiest boy ever to be eating an omelette!"


Watching these two interact is one of the funniest things. It's the reactions that kill me.

Dollface was sporting a shirt that a dude who came into her work had MADE FOR HER with a PICTURE OF A SQUIRREL on it.

She tried (beyond unsuccessfully) to convince us that he was not creepy.
Good try!

Now that I've got myself psyched up for Aunties, it's time to go there!

But first, your daily Jonathan Tip-Top Taylor Thomas Chirovsky!

(srsly best cat)

hey, emo, tell us a story!

So.

To level with you dudes; I'm up to my ear-drums in drama.
NOT MY FAULT
(totally my fault).

Pattern:
Like a dude (like maybe for real) Or at least care about him and want to be care-taking of him
Feel like I might get rejected by dude
Find other babes
Drama ensues

Wow, now that I've broken it down for you I feel way more like a dumb.

Nothing I can do to make myself seem like a better person than to act like one. Obviously.

But I will say, I am not a bad person. My actual intentions are good. I try for kindness. I actually have a good heart.
Somewhere in there.
I can feel it beating.. so.. there's that.



The other day it was Toad's birthday and I tried not to notice it. But I did.
And I thought of calling but I couldn't think of what good it would do either me or him. Fair, fair enough.

Schizophrenia is hard, guys!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. Ah, first loves.

Sometimes when I am feeling overly-shitty and like maybe I'm losing it I like to think about how he said "what I like about you is that you could be crazy but you choose not to be and work at it..."

Today my friend was wearing a shirt that reminded me of highschool and of how we all dressed and especially about Toad and the things I thought were beyond beyond beyond dreamy about him. Especially his fashion sense! (in retrospect, pretty hilarious!)

It was a good evening that didn't end in fighting about things that are incommunicable, but I'm pretty sad that one of my favourite singer/songwriters, and one of my favourite servers McGruff dedicated a song to me and I missed it!
Aw I like his music so, so much.

I did on the other hand, catch this voice, which was amazing, as always.

Still, I do wish I'd caught McGruff's set, as he is pretty impressive and doesn't play NEARLY enough, nor have an album I can buy...

Okay it's four in the morning (the end of December I'm writing you now just to see if you're better. New York is cold but I like where I'm living).



I don't know if you want my opinion
but this life is hard is hard to live
'cause I've got so much more that I want to say
but I've got nothing more to give

This could be the very last song I write with my own two hearts
this could be the very last time you hear from me



The ending cover of I Shall Be Released (sung a bit more like Baez than like Dylan) seriously made me want to weep. Not in a bad way, more in the way that February/March is such hard work.
And more in the way of how beautiful everthing is.
Nice work.

mcda hey?

I keep thinking I have more to say about last Saturday, but now it's so irrelevant and far away and I don't remember most of it.
But it was one of the funnest days I've had in awhile.
Owed in great part to MCDA and all of the ideas surrounding that band/dance group. We're thinking of getting it back together. The biggest obstacles being how busy Dzanita is and how Miz Belle Woods lives in Oakville lately and how Lockdown Nasty never takes the band seriously and forgets her own name and how Lady Diamondtrim lives in Europe and is married and I how I never get around to doing anything I say I'm going to.
... And the other biggest obstacle is that MCDA has never really managed to live anywhere up to our potential.

Aw, Man, we are such, such a good band. Such good ideas.
For instance, New Hit Singles we were working on last weekend:
1) Babes and Babies
2) Clingy Sluts
3) Safety Deposit Box (First you make a deposit, then a withdrawal....)

Also the dance moves that we have to teach the world... they're kind of unreal. Or at least unnatural. One or the other.


We had brunch at Nirvana.

For Three Hours.
That's a long time. I drank three cups of coffee and I usually don't drink that stuff, so needless to say I was WRECKED. By which I mean wired and shaking and very happy and a bit nauseous. Fun Timez!
Their brunch is pretty good. It is especially good on the weekends because Aunties is way too crowded to go to, especially if you are me and like your brunches to last for Three Hours.

Aw, our server was very nice about it though. He was a bit scared of us, I think. LD Nasty was certain that he thought that she was trying to eat him and so she tried to not show her teeth to him in case he would find it a threat.

Nasty refuses to have her face photographed, which means we have to find some masks for her involvement in MCDA...
The server came 'round at one point and asked us if there was anything else we'd like (we'd been there for probably 2.5 hours at that point) and
me: "I kind of want some magic"
server: "Magic?"
me: "yeah, I need more magic in my life... can you do a magic trick?"
server: "Actually my brother is a magician and so I do know a couple of tricks.. Card tricks"
But we didn't have any cards! I asked him to look for some for us, but he couldn't find any :( but then he did a levitation trick! And it really looked like he was levitating!



The best part was that I then re-met this server at Sneaky Dee's the other night (no, he wasn't working there too, he was a customer like me. and also a friend of a friend [The friend being really more of an acquaintance who a) didn't know I was famous and b) occasionally reads this blog. Hi!] whoa convoluted brackets). And then I identified our brunch party town and he said "I was in kind of a bad mood and then you guys made it a bit better" awwwww, nice!
SEE WHAT MCDA CAN DO FOR YOU??



We laughed so fucking hard at that brunch. Nasty and I especially pointed and laughed at each other in that cackle-way that makes it so much better and is so, so rude. And awesome. Best sober time in awhile...



I really want to get the band back together guys......

Love,
Missile Da Bomb
(aka The Baby Boss)



p.s. - I just edited this but for a minute there I used the wrong they're/their! embarrassing!

we're all growing up (or at least out)

There's only a handful of people I'm still friends with from college (how is it so long ago already?) and they seem to all be moving away (or having babies).
So this one asked me to do a shoot for him before he moves to Vancouver this weekend, so I obliged.















Good luck, dude!

vodka vodka vodka

"No, I don't think I have ever once thought 'Oh no! Where are my nipples!?'"


Vodka tasting last night at Spoke Club, Sass was kind enough to take me along with her. Thanks Sass!
The event was spons'd by Ketel One and we got to learn all about it. My favourite part was the part where we got to drink!

javascript:void(0)

Though, I gotta tell you dudes, I do not like straight vodka pretty much ever.
But I do like drinking.
I haven't gotten around to editing my photos from last night, so the ones above are stolen from Sass. I will do that soon. Hopefully.

I have a back-log of photes needing to be dealt with, and a back-log of stories that need to be blogged.

Story of my life.

Haha did you know that Elizabeth Hasselbeck from the view named her son "Taylor Thomas"?

ketel ketel ketel ONE

Getting a lil bit excited for going to "taste" some ketel one tomorrow...

(not too terribly safe for work)

appliances and quoting myself

I swear to you that I have full intentions on blogging properly at some point in the near future. Swear it!

Unfortunately I ended up private blogging all afternoon, trying to sort out my face and history and stuff and I was editing photos and now I've run out of time because I have to go to a meeting about a short film that we're going to do.

Things you are missing out by not getting to read all my secrets:

"man, being in a relationship must be hard"

"I told him he was gay, barfed into his mouth, then ran out to find him a gay boyfriend"

aka: not much.

I recommend this article: What Do Women Want?
It details how women are FUCKED.
Kind of interesting.
It'll be interesting to see what happens if proper research gets done on womens sexuality.

Mum was telling me about how vibrators were one of the first household appliances and how all homes used to have them. I was telling Mum "don't talk about that".

On a related note, I wonder if my aunts actually know what donkey punching is...

MY GIRL LIKES TO

I can't stop going out I can't stop it I can't get off the party-train!

I do love it but
also think it might be wearing me down

No, that's not right.
It can't be.

Partying must actually be good for me.

yes, that sounds like something you would say

I really really meant to go to the meeting today about how skydome is unionizing. I REALLY MEANT TO GO. I was all dressed and everything and then I was about to leave and I thought about how I hadn't had a moment alone in a few days and how I have to go to work later this afternoon but there would be time in between where I'd have to wander around downtown and probably spend money and look, there's my couch and my computer and I haven't watched the lastest 30 Rock yet and I know it's there waiting for me...

So you can guess which option won out.

Such a nice afternoon watching 30 Rock and Flight of the Concords and eating some eggs and some left-over goodies from the birthday tea party that I went to yesterday (gluten-free bread and cupcakes!!!)



My friend, one of the founding members of MCDA, Miz Belle Woods, ended up coming up from Oakville this weekend and staying with me in order to PARTY PARTY PARTY and SCOPE BABES.
Party=accomplished
Babes=scoped

Gotta say we girls from MCDA know how to break it down. I have more to detail about all of this but I probably won't get around to it... I hope I do though.
Because life felt really good this weekend and I reaffirmed my love for party town.



It is way too cold out and I have no desire to go to work right now. Especially not walking.
Whatever, it'll probably turn to be awesome.
Maybe.

bests and losses

Do you ever have one of those days where you laugh so hard that you choke a few times and you point and cackle-laugh like nothing has ever been funnier and you weep with how amazing everything is?

YEAH.

welcome to today.



SIGH I LOVE LIFE I'M SO HAPPY GUYS EVERYONE IS THE BEST PERSON

I kind of wish brunch had just been for forever.

But then the rest was also the best..




Oh, I am a kind beast (maybe not the nicest, but trying for kindness), I am actually out for the good.
And I probably love you and would do anything for you.
And do not want to lose you.
I really don't. But I probably will because I do not know how to communicate with you.
And I can't abide your cruelty.

manlymanlymanlymen

Oh yeah, I have to tell you:

At the show last night Mrs. and I were talking about babes and she said
"I think you have to redefine your ideas about men"
and I said "How So?"
and she said "You've decided that you are completely independent and you don't need them"



I was relating this story to a babe today and he agreed it was a funny thing to say and then without thinking I said,
"Yes, but she's happy and I'm not"

Weird, hey?

Beauty Tubes Mascara

So L'Oreal sent me some stuff to try out their new Double Extension Beauty Tubes mascara. And I like free stuff! So much!
Especially because I needed new mascara.

Anyway. So, I was predisposed to not liking this mascara on account of I bought and tried another similar product which I hated.
But I was pleasantly surprised. It's one of these double-coat things, with a white layer first and then the black over top. It's bad if you don't quite get the tops of your eyelashes with the black and then there's white bits. So do it carefully.
What I liked was the definition. It's almost a bit much. In a good way. And also, it doesn't smudge or smear. I have a tendency to not bathe for a couple of days but it didn't make dark circles under my eyes, which has happened to me sooo much (Party All The Time).
Also, it comes off really easily (which was my beef with the other similar mascara, I could not get it off me). They say 30 seconds in hot water and yep it all came off in the shower. Almost in like little tubes, no lying. Shitty buzz though there were a few of the black mascara bits left in the tub afterward. Probably don't go swimming with this on your face.

I have pretty eyelashes, they are long and very pale.


First coat, white = creepy. and kind of dreamy like an angel of the lord


Second coat, black and pointy. I would not try putting a second coat of the black. It seems pretty set and into doing what it's doing I'm not going to mess with it.


Aaaanyway. I have a headache on account of I drank too much hier soir, (surprise, surprise) and all my stories are online because it's the day after Thursday. And I'm going to go lie around and not think too hard.
Strain the brains, etc.

I LOVE THE NFB

So, apparently our film, A Small Thing, screened at the National Film Board this week, but I didn't go because I was working. But still, that little film is sure doing great.

Anyway! NFB has put all of its films online!
I thought it was awesome that I could go and watch at the film board, but this is even better!
So many classics from childhood!

Log Driver's Waltz! One of my favourites!



Thanks Nunc Scio for the link!

time flies when you're being annoyed about something

HELL! since when did it get to be SIX P.M.?
Whoaly.

It's getting dark out already! My whole day!

Aw, fuck it. I'm in such a weird mood. I feel sort of ill with caring too much about something that just doesn't deserve it.
I need switches. Shut-off valves, etc.

Yesterday I didn't end up going for lunch. I ended up watching Mad Men on the computer (only one episode left, then I have to wait for new ones!) and lying around.
Cpt. had to go rescue his father's keys from the trunk of the car.
OR SO HE CLAIMS.

I did walk to Dollface's to walk the dog. And I did walk the dog. And I did try to discourage the dog from eat snow covered in other dogs' urine. To no avail.
And then I walked to work.
And then I worked. Which was alright. Kind of nice. I made some funny jokes with some customers. Saw no babes, etc.
Then I walked back to Dollface's to walk Kaya again because I felt like she'd want a real walking not like before when I'd only taken her out for 15 minutes.
So we went up to Bellwoods and it was pretty empty and nice out and we ran around in the snow. And I played on the swings for awhile while Kaya ate some more pee-snow.
Classy bitch, that one.
And then I walked home!

I walked for about 3 or 4 hours yesterday. And it was kind of awesome. But I got home and I was toooo tired. I went to bed at 1 a.m. and slept 'til almost 1 this afternoon. Kind of great. But it sure does take up the day, that sleeping.

But tonight (after I walk the dog some more), I'm going to go to a show which should be a DANCE PARTY. And then hopefully when I am there I will DANCE.
I haven't really shaken it down in awhile. I'm way too "chilled out" for such nonsense. Otherwise known as "lazy".
I am also looking forward to Scoping Babes. Or Scooping Babes. Whichever.

Aw, man now I have Little Rabbit Foo Foo in my brain. Anyone else?

raspy throats and dog walkings

Yesterday I walked a dog. I don't think I've ever walked a dog before. Not on my own at least. It was pretty fun. I laughed a lot. It was Dollface's dog, whose name is Kaya. Kaya is mostly German Sheppard, I think. She is a very nice dog. Here is a picture of her (not from yesterday)

(ah, man, I still haven't done that cottage post, have I? I totally should. Fuck that was fun.)
Anyway, I took her to Trinity Bellwoods. It was very snowy and we ran around. Walking a dog means that you have to talk to lots and lots of people. Especially if they also have dogs. I have no idea about dog-walking etiquette. Mostly I smiled and nodded. Kaya is good and I just let her lead me around. I do not think I would be good at walking bad dogs. I have no "whispering" skills.

Anyway. I'm feeling way better. Today and yesterday. I still sound really sick from that cold, which makes people think that I am sick, when I'm actually feeling way better. WHERE WAS YOUR SYMPATHY WHEN I NEEDED IT?

Yesterday got off on a good foot because Dollface brought me some clementines. And I don't think I'd ever eaten a clementine before. But they were very nice and I ate all three of them in quick succession.

Also, I finally did the dishes. And then I made delicious rice and beans. And then I even bought groceries. So my life is on the up-and-up. I'm like an responsible adult and stuff.

Went over to Cpt. Heh's last night and had some wine. And that was alright. I petted their cat whose name is wieners. Wow. I'm so exciting today.

Pretty soon I'm going to go for lunch with Cpt. And then I'm going to go walk the dog some more. And then I'm going to go to work. Big Plans!

I do have interesting things to tell you, I'm sure. But I also have photos that need editing and uploading and that takes effort.

new website!

Don't worry guys I'm in a better mood!

For some reason as soon as I got to work I felt better.
Weird, I know.
The thing is my job is very easy and even pleasurable sometimes.
And first thing when I walked in I was told I got 100% on a mystery shop and was even especially mentioned as being a good worker and so I got $20 to spend at work. I will use it to buy junk food. Obviously.

And now I'm up too late and I did not spend the evening cleaning like I meant to instead I spent it doing this:

NEW WEBSITE!!!

Castingworkbook has a new thing where it's super easy to make yourself a website. So I did.
I think it looks alright and it's a nice place to showcase pretty pictures of me and set stills and stuff like that.

I'm ready to book more parts now!

the sort of mood where everything goes wrong

Holy Heck! I'm so irritable! I can't even describe!
And maybe if I could think of a good reason then I'd be able to talk myself out of it. But there is no good reason! Oh, maybe I've not taken cold medicine in awhile and I'm coming down off of it.

I was very hungry and no one has bought groceries in about a billion years (good for the calorie counts, I guess) and so all there was was porridge and so I went to make porridge in the microwave and this house is a disaster and no one has done the dishes in about a billion years and so I tried to make it in a mug and of course it boiled over and then there was porridge all over the microwave and none left in the mug and I threw it all out and refused to try again because all the bowls are dirty and they had porridge in the them and so they're way too dirty to just quickly wash.
AHAHAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHA.
Holy Nutso.
Things you should never admit to.

Though, I gotta tell you, my messiness of late still has absolutely nothing on my messiness of a couple of years ago.
(on several levels)

Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys, what I like in blogs are posts about babes. Mostly hopeful nice things about babes, but babe-hunting in general, that's what I like to hear about. I'm constantly struggling with how to write about things on here.

So mostly I just don't, but man...
I don't know.

In a related story, I think that my body is trying to trick me into getting into a relationship, it's all like BABESBABESBABESBABES even when I know for serious that I am in no state to actually be involved with anyone. Shitty biological urges.
The TimesOnline are reporting that Wealthy men give women more orgasms. So my goal of a rich husband is even further set.
The best is the comments after the article.
The one is my favourite:
"Rather concerned about the throw-away comment at the end implying that women who orgasm with their partners are more loyal. I would think orgasmic women enjoy sex to a greater degree and therefore would be more likely to look for it more often - probably with different partners."
That's right, men! If your partner thinks she can't orgasm and is very used to mediocre sex, then she is totally going to stay with you forever!!!!
I also love referring to women as "orgasmic"!


I can't find my dayplanner and I need it! and I can't imagine where I would've left it.
I need it!
I did, however, finally find my blank book which has the list of every babe I've ever made out with (not counting jokes and other sport). It has been missing for months and I only had one new update? That seems dumb, seems like I hang with more babes than that. Then I remembered, I just recycle way too often.

Hey, you know what is a good idea when you're in a bad mood? Dealing with technology!
Aw, man, best plan ever.

God I'm hungry.
And irritable.



I give up, I'm taking more cough medicine, I can't function right now.
I'm going to dig up something to eat as well, this can't be helping.
I'm also going to go smile. I hear that is good for me. Right now it's looking suspiciously like a grimace though.

the lights are on AND I'm home

Bon Iver is good for listening if you are feeling under-the-weather.
Which I definitely am.
Had a bit of a cough yesterday which developed into a full-fledged head and chest cold about half an hour into my shift, working the Lil Wayne concert.
Sexy Sexy Lil Wayne.

But I did end up getting a ride home from a kind co-worker who thought maybe I should not walk when it's this cold and I have a cold.
He thinks I'm a wimp but I am not.
He did have heated seats and other fancy things. I almost rode in the back so that I could watch a movie.

Thanks, Mum, for calling me at 9 a.m. this morning to see if I was effected (affected?) by the blackout
a) you spoke to me last night and that's when it started, don't think I would've mentioned it?
b) it's NINE A.M. I do not get up at that time
c) even if I were effected, what could you have done to help??
No, just kidding (mostly), I appreciate your worry. Except that I was having a terrible time sleeping and then I was up for an hour coughing.
But don't worry I slept until 1 after that.

Nope, no power outage in this household, and I haven't left the house yet today, so I can't say anything about my neighbours. Sucks though, for those who have been without allll night. The Mrs. says her house is very cold. I bet!

Right now I'm GOING BOWLING.
I have never been Toronto-bowling. I'm a little disappointed we could only get an early lane and so it will not be glow-bowling (rock 'n bowling? what do you call that even?).
Going with the cast of the Manson family movie I was in this summer, we are calling it a FAMILY OUTING. Get it???
I really like these kids though, so I'm excited!

I'm bent-set on wearing a dress, so I'm resorting to my old Saskatoon trick - two pairs of leggings.

I gotta tell you, everyone around here keeps going on and on about the weather and how cold it's been, but it really has nothing on what Saskatoon was like over Christmas.
It's not even anywhere near minus 40 here. Not even close.

the lights are on AND I'm home

Bon Iver is good for listening if you are feeling under-the-weather.
Which I definitely am.
Had a bit of a cough yesterday which developed into a full-fledged head and chest cold about half an hour into my shift, working the Lil Wayne concert.
Sexy Sexy Lil Wayne.

But I did end up getting a ride home from a kind co-worker who thought maybe I should not walk when it's this cold and I have a cold.
He thinks I'm a wimp but I am not.
He did have heated seats and other fancy things. I almost rode in the back so that I could watch a movie.

Thanks, Mum, for calling me at 9 a.m. this morning to see if I was effected (affected?) by the blackout
a) you spoke to me last night and that's when it started, don't think I would've mentioned it?
b) it's NINE A.M. I do not get up at that time
c) even if I were effected, what could you have done to help??
No, just kidding (mostly), I appreciate your worry. Except that I was having a terrible time sleeping and then I was up for an hour coughing.
But don't worry I slept until 1 after that.

Nope, no power outage in this household, and I haven't left the house yet today, so I can't say anything about my neighbours. Sucks though, for those who have been without allll night. The Mrs. says her house is very cold. I bet!

Right now I'm GOING BOWLING.
I have never been Toronto-bowling. I'm a little disappointed we could only get an early lane and so it will not be glow-bowling (rock 'n bowling? what do you call that even?).
Going with the cast of the Manson family movie I was in this summer, we are calling it a FAMILY OUTING. Get it???
I really like these kids though, so I'm excited!

I'm bent-set on wearing a dress, so I'm resorting to my old Saskatoon trick - two pairs of leggings.

I gotta tell you, everyone around here keeps going on and on about the weather and how cold it's been, but it really has nothing on what Saskatoon was like over Christmas.
It's not even anywhere near minus 40 here. Not even close.

newel news

I might have spent time taking pictures of myself instead of focusing only on the bands.




It's hard to get a bad picture of Miss Lindeman

I mean, I managed it a few times, but man is she photogenic.


The boys of The Weather Station, on the other hand, are terrible at having their pictures taken!

Aw, man I love that dude. More hilarious than terrible, actually. But we got some decent ones. I hope.






Oh, yes, my agent liked both photos. And we had a discussion about newel posts.
Turns out most people don't use that word and think I'm crazy when I do. Except I knew my one friend would know it and he did! But he's reading The Wind in the Willows, so there you go.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

I feel pleased about a few things today. I'm sure that won't last long.

placation!

If you needed more proof that Cpt. Heh is not a typical dude; he was describing a potential babe to me and he said
"he's very well-built" and I said
"I'm not really that into muscles" and the captain said
"He looks like he does stuff with his body and then I'm like 'I want you to do stuff with my body...'"

.

Dollface and her friend found a cellphone at their work the other night and the phone had its number written on the back (forgetful owner, apparently) and the friend was like
"why don't we just call it?"

.

I took about a billion photos last night of Entire Cities and The Weather Station (same members, which makes things easier). Now I am editing them. If only all photos were good and also edited themselves!
Oh yeah, I joined Entire Cities as their photographer/dancer.
I think this is probably because they don't want me to ever sing with them again (no wonder) and so this is to placate me. That's fine! I'm totally, totally into being placated.
Seriously.

mememememememememe

I don't think I've ever participated in a meme on this particular blog. Maybe I'm wrong?
Anyhow, my only news source, Nunc Scio, "tagged" me in this one, so ah... here you go.

As far as I gather I just have to tell you seven facts.
Ones you don't already know?
It doesn't even specify, but that seems like it would be more interesting. Maybe you know some of these. WHATEVER.

1. I have an extra piece of muscle around/beside my heart. This makes it sound sort of like I have a heart murmur. I had tests done when I was very small. I remember wires and electrodes. Or maybe I was abducted by aliens.

2. I'm counting calories these days. It seems like it's a rational way of doing things. I kind of like it, it makes me feel in control. I want to never have to go to the gym again. Good goal.

3. My favourite kind of coffee is from 7-11. I love it. It's wonderful. I can mix it just the way I like it. I know it's gross but it's also perfect. I do not see the point in fancy coffees because I do not like them.

4. I've started putting straight vaseline on my face. I ran out of face cream and the wind is too harsh on me. Vaseline is good for pretty much everything.

5. I don't tell babes about other babes unless they ask. Babes frequently assume a lot of things. So do I, I guess, but I try not to. I do try to be kind and open though. Aw, shit.
I am a healthy interactor.

6. I'm scared of serving. Like being an actual waitress or bartender. For some reason I'm convinced I would not be able to do it. Despite how I actually have in the past.

7. My first real kiss was actually a joke. This dude and I made jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes, especially about going off to make out and then one day neither of us backed-down. So we ended up in the stairway of the theatre at school, awkwardly kissing. Mostly I laughed and was the most awkward human ever. And was only then starting to become an attractive human being. He was a sort of sought-after babe I guess, but not someone I ever really liked.
He is now married with kids.


And here I thought I'd gotten over my need to respond to chain letters.
I used to be super paranoid about them, especially in elementary school. But then, who wasn't??

Anyhow, I'm "tagging" these seven people because they are nice. I do not suggest in any way that you have to do this however, because I hate when people do stuff like that.

1. Sass
2. Steph
3. Miranda
4. Cloudy
5. James
6. BathtubMary (locked so too bad for all the rest of you)
7. reberk


Aw, shit, soon I'm going to be posting symbols arranged to make trucks and christmas trees and things or heart-warming stories of loss and hope that you MUST forward to at least 10 friends, etc.
scroll down to reveal your destiny!!!!!!!!

working, babes, and donor dads

At my friend's restaurant a man was pestering one of the servers and being completely inappropriate and she finally had enough when he started feeling her up. So she leaned in closely to him and asked if he'd like to come outside with her and of course he very much wanted to spend a moment alone with her outside and so she told him to grab his jacket and then she lead him through the restaurant and then out...
When they got there she said "BYEEE" loudly and firmly and waved to him as he walked away...

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Today I got a tip bigger than the price of the product I was selling. It was accompanied by the man telling me that I was the cutest girl he'd ever seen. I resisted telling him that he needed to get out more.
I am wearing french braids though...
One of the good things about closing up before the game is even over, is that when the men come back to ask for your number, you are no longer there.

Also I'm pretty sure one younger customer told his father to "quit cock-blocking" him. But maybe I just made that part up.

Our favourite supervisor brought us popcorn in a cup on which he'd written "miss you guys :("
Pretty sweet.

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I'm trying to figure out a way to make a living off of scoping babes. I am so, so good at it. And always interested in it.
And I'm a pretty good judge of babes I wouldn't even be interested in. I feel like I know a babe when I see one.
Although sometimes my babedar is weirdly off.

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It's hard to be friends with men. As much as I know babes (in terms of scoping and eying up and chatting up and dating for two weeks), men are still kind of a mystery to me.
I have never lived with one, I have never counted on one, I have never really known one. Really.

I mean, maybe Cpt. Heh, he's my best dude friend for sure. But he is not a typical dude. He's more of sweet little darling.

Friendships between men and women get complex. I have ridiculous few male friends (of any degree of friendship) who I have not made out with at least a bit. It's hard to know what is "loving" and what is "being in love". Or the lesser degrees of what is "caring" and what is "wanting to be with".
Especially because attraction is the reason we want to be around each other. Because there is something interesting and engaging...

And even when I try very hard to carve out the space and niche to be friends, it doesn't always go as planned. I can't control both sides. I have a hard time not pushing things. And I'm not always the best at being clear.
Especially when it's up to me to be the communicator. And I'm half-crazy. And too serious about everything, apparently.

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My co-worker tonight was asking me about being born of donor insemination. She was pretty incredulous that I hadn't done everything I could to locate donor and/or siblings.
It's hard to explain as she has no context and no concept...
Why would I look?
I don't need to, I have a family. And, of course, I'm scared of disappointment.
Also, if I look and don't find, then what? Then it's more frustrating than ever.

I like the possibilities.

She also told me if I met my father I would just know him. If I saw him I would know it was him. She is woo-woo.

He could be a anyone. He could be an asshole. He could be someone I served every day at Jerry's. He could be an uncaring slob who I helped at The Body Shop on Christmas eve (having left everything to the last minute). He could be a Conservative.
There are good things that he could be too. Which, actually, I assume he is. And maybe that's why I'm not particularly looking. I quite like the idea of him that I have in my head.

A friend of friend here in Toronto gave sperm apparently. Thinking about that makes me uncomfortable. I don't think people realize what they are doing.
And that's part of the donor/offspring issues.

My donor father probably does not believe in me. I am not real to him. And he probably does not want me to be.
And that's part of why I don't really look.

ah, maybe I should. I don't know.

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hmm, this is a way better entry than what I had expected to write

refresh refresh refresh internet fun timez

HA!
I just realized that one of my favourite sayings doesn't even make sense for me!
In my natural-born life!
Ha!
Only partially naturally-born. The turkey-baster beginning doesn't really count as natural I bet...
Ha.


I AM IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY I LIKE EVERYTHING.

Which is a happy change from how lonesome everything was feeling last night. Sometimes I do not like being the only one in this household. But I am unwilling to commit to a cat or a babe apparently.


Went for coffee with the BFF yesterday (she needs a new nickname that one is sort of lame. But I do feel pleased about her being my BFF, she's the sort of person you feel proud to be around. Ha!) near her school and that was nice because she is in Law School and when you are in Law School you have time for no one else. SIGH.
Then I walked her back over to her Law School where I creeped around and took obnoxious pictures

I made that scarf, in case you were wondering, so don't insult it. It's the only thing I've ever finished knitting.
The basement of the BFF's school is very, very funny. It seems like it would be fancy and stuff but NOPE.

I think my high-school was fancier than this. But that is what makes it awesome. I tried every door to see if I could find any secret passageways (we had those in my high-school, though to be fair, sometimes I can't remember which parts were real and which parts were things I dreamt. Like I'm pretty sure that there was no underground carnival beneath my school, but was there a supply closet that lead to another supply closet? No? I don't even know. There definitely were tunnels though, and dirty dusty areas that felt cool because we weren't supposed to be in there). No door was open.

Poor BFF, shouldn't allow me into places of higher learning...
Then we found her BF who I will call BRAD because of he's such a boyfriend and it seems like Brad is a good name for a boyfriend. Brad told me I looked vaguely homeless in that touque! Too true!!! And Brad told me a joke but I was having none of that. I will tell you that it was about tampons, but that's all.
Brad is kind of funny, he is 6 foot 7, and he is also going to become a lawyer and sometimes he talks like one like one time he was like "So, what's it like being from Saskatoooon" but I mean, I don't know what it's like being from anywhere else...
Yes, he's very nice and also we don't know what to make of each other.

GOOD STORY.

Anyone want to weigh-in on me using one of these two to be my new headshot?
I know I already asked this and the only person that I should ask is my agent but I'm sort of micro-manager/independent fuck, so it's hard on me. Okay?
I'm just wondering if it's even worth it to try and do another shoot in the next few weeks (which might not even get around to happening if the past few months are any indication) or if these are actually very nice and totally usable/appropriate.




I'm kind of favouring the bottom one. I like seeing them with my name for some reason. Makes it seem official or something.
You can check my IMDB for other pictures I've been using to market myself. To compare. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE VERY INTERESTED.



Hockey game tonight! Go Leaves Go!

oh hey could your diary be more inane?

Wore my Kodiak kids' boots out in the slush snow today for the first time. Awesometown!
Actually my heels are a bit raw from them but that's my own fault for wearing silly socks and stuff. So warm though! and they make me feel somehow invincible and tough (ha, obviously invincible people are tough)..

I am very pleased with my selection of boots this year. Moreso than ever before I think. Yes, definitely.
Mostly these three:

KODIAK KIDS BOOTS ($8.99, Salvation Army)
As mentioned above, they are also weirdly stylish this year. I'm glad that everyone is getting into warmth as style. I walk everywhere lately and so I appreciate it.

I splashed through puddles in these today and got my pants wet but never my toes.
These are the kind of boots that make me want to go toboganning...

VAGABOND BLACK LACE-UP BOOTS ($19.99, Value Village)
Well, they really only pretend to that they're about the lacing-up, but very comfortable and really dreamy. I like them more every day.

I just googled the company, apparently they don't even sell them in the Americas. Weird! Also, for some reason they remind me of something like what Jan Brett would draw. Like from The Wild Christmas Reindeer or something. Also, why don't I own that book?
Also, these are perfect because they are slightly too big and so I have 1 pair of gel insoles and 1 pair of heat-reflecting insoles and now they are quite delicious.

UNKNOWN-NAME BROWN BOOTS ($9.99, Value Village)
I got these in Saskatoon, I returned other, stupid boots and got these gems instead and they are awesome. I get the most compliments on them. They are very slippery and I fell very hard on the ice the other night while wearing them.


Okay. It's almost three a.m. and I've watch three episodes of Mad Men in a row and now I'm dangerously close to finishing watching all the episodes and then what??
Taking suggestions for the next show I will immerse myself in. Bonus points if it's available on a network website I can stream.