I ate Saturday

Does my face look a bit tan? Kind of, hey?
It's mostly just red all the time because that's how it is. Natural! But I've been out in the sun way more now that I take the dog out in the daytime. It's nice. I have been remembering my 45 spf sunscreen but maybe I will need to bump it up even more. Or get a hat. Yeeeaaahhhat.


Big game tonight for the Canucks.... If we win this one then we're in the final two.
See what I did there? I made like I was a Canuck. Which is weird since I've never even played hockey.
I downloaded the Canuck app for my phone.
So dumb!
I'm excited that I don't have to work tonight so that I can get prime real estate at the bar with Norman and Carla Ghee and we can get super intense and oooo and ahhh all we want.
Yeah huh.
I have to find some Canucks colours to wear!

I went to see Bridesmaids last night with a bunch of nice ladies.

Honestly,  it's fine to watch the trailers for this movie because so much of the stuff in the trailers isn't in the movie!
I hate knowing anything about films before I watch them because I don't like expectations, but also I like watching trailers. Weird conflict of desires I have. It's best if I can see a trailer far enough in advance that I forget everything that happens in it!

I really loved this movie!
It's a specific type of humour I guess, and I can see why people wouldn't love it like I did... but... I generally think that Kristen Wiig is a bit of a genius so I was obviously on her team from the get-go.

Also, I think they really nailed the relationships between the women. Sometimes you're friends by convenience and sometimes you're still friends even when maybe it doesn't make sense anymore.
And sometimes it's worth it to keep fighting for a friend who actually fully gets you. 
In it Kristen Wiig's character feels a bit left behind when her bff's life gets perfect and her life is falling apart.
I definitely know about that a bit. Both Violet and Dollface are working on Bay street these days and I just drink every night. Not that my life isn't the funnest, but I don't own any suits, and will almost certainly never belong to any country clubs... it's easy to let yourself feel awkward about not being the successful one, even in a friendship.
I have a pretty good handle on not getting worried about those kinds of things. And I'm a pretty big deservist who feels entitled to all the good things in life without ever wanting to work for them, so at least I never feel like I'm less-than Violet and all her law friends, and Dollface and all her financial peeps.
Mostly.

Although, I do find it mystifying that people can figure out how to have relationships with others, how to move in, how to get married, how to have babies.....
We all know it's the babies I'm after, but all that before stuff? How does anyone even do that!?
Do not comprehend! Cannot fathom!



Anyway, I recommend this movie. And I will say that I think that Melissa McCarthy who played "Megan" really stole quite a few scenes and was just really genius in a way that I never would have expected knowing her only from Gilmore Girls..

I'm pleased as well that there are virtually no male characters. Not that I think we necessarily need to go swinging the entire opposite way but I am fucking tired of seeing all men all the time only interacting with men and even every supporting character is a man. Boring!
Women! All women all the time!

Apparently this is the first feature that Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo wrote? I want to know how much mentoring they got on this? It's pretty well structured. And funny!
I'm betting lots of improving (which I am all for) and letting people run with things.
Goddamn this is the type of movie I want to work on.



When I got home last night I worked a bit on a project I've had in the beginning stages forever.
The character I'd been working on for myself wasn't funny at all, I realized. I'm not sure how that happened.
I think I was think if it were a romantic comedy the protagonist had to be appealing and sweet, and wouldn't be allowed to be super funny.
changed that now. Writing her way more funny and obnoxious now (hopefully).

It's becoming clearer that I could benefit from sort of screen-writing workshop. I always assume I can do anything if I would only get around to it.
I need help on structure, though. And I need help keeping things going.



My ears aren't particularly small. I was full-term. Is that why? When I was a baby the light shone through them. Maybe it still does a little bit.
You'd  think I'd wash or brush my hair before taking several pictures of myself but you would be wrong wrong wrong.




All floral-prints all the time this summer, yeah?


I bet I'll be blogging a lot more this week as I fully procrastinate having to back up my entire life....
I'm having a bad stress day about having to leave this home. It'll be fine. Everything will all be fine. I get along with everyone and am very easy-going. (or will be... maybe sometime...)


cool I have a pimple that looks like a bindi. Beat that.

sick days are almost like treats

today I helped out on Arrow and Mrs.'s short film for a bit, as expected, and then I was so tired and ill-feeling (sigh) that I came home and watched movies and napped. the bright side is that I had nothing I had to do. and it's kind of a treat to be feeling sad and ill when you have the time and space to do it.
is it weird that sick days are almost one of my favourite things?

I watched Love and Other Drugs first before my nap. I used to quite like Anne Hathaway in some things but more and more lately I find her rather insufferable. she isn't vulnerable or open (which this role needed so badly), she's rather smug and over-confident.
I did want to like this movie because I was in the mood for something easy and plus it was directed by Ed Zwick, who is one of the executive producers of My So-Called Life, and therefore has almost won my affections forever.
I didn't like it, though. It's obvious and pointless and sets up ideals for relationships that are ridiculous. It's terribly clichéd and not even particularly visually appealing. It's fine. it was a fine movie, I guess.
Though, bear in mind that I like most things and I didn't really like this. 

Actually, I think I liked that movie better before my nap and especially before I watched Never Let Me Go.
I'm not sure that Never Let Me Go is as good as I'm thinking it is or if it was just too perfect for my mood this evening.
I'm pretty sure it's great. I'm jealous of Carey Mulligan, not just because of how I do think she's really wonderful but also because of the roles she gets. I need these roles. If I were 20% prettier and 40% more trained and got these roles I feel like I could be almost as good.
Should I go back to school? Ha, like I could ever afford it. It's nights like these, though, where I feel that familiar desperate need to be a successful/famous actor (it's like grade 8 again, when I would wake my mum up at 1 in the morning to cry to her in desperation of all I wanted to do. How heartbreaking that I'm not trying in the ways that I should be anymore. when it's been so close and is still so possible.).
The performances in this movie were so engaging and honest, Andrew Garfield and Keira Knightley, as well.. so solid and strong. Ah, man, I wish I wish.
By which I mean, I'll work and work.
Right?

I did some screen-grabs because I found it so visually pleasing. 
I want to live there. Not kidding. Or in the boarding school also featured in this movie. I want to move to England. I want to travel the world. So restless these days. someone sponsor me. Someone send me to theatre school in England.

 Carey Mulligan, I hope you are as lovely in real life as you seem on screen because I dream of being buds with you some day except I also couldn't handle how jealous I'd be I don't think.  Hopefully you're nice though.

 Obviously this makes me homesick for Saskatchewan and the close-ups of the barbwire fence of course of course. But it's very beautiful no matter how you look at it.

 this screen-grab doesn't do this scene justice, but you can kind of get an idea. great cinematography is kind of the best. two hours of beautiful pictures.

I love love the stain glass windows on these doors. Just perfect.
The costumes, too in this movie were so specific and the colours and it all just fit together for me.
Also, it's a heart-breaking little film.
Just what I was in the mood for.

I was going to post the trailer, too. But I hate trailers, and having just viewed this one I think it gives way too much away. So, I suppose, you could just watch that instead of seeing the actual movie. But probably watch the movie instead.

I'll just write my own part, okay. Never mind, I'll get around to it soon here. Don't worry.

Is it strange that serious acting and comedy seem very separate to me these days? I've been thinking lately about making a sketch show (it's been in my mind for quite some time, but I'm starting to organize ideas again), I'm writing a mockumentary based on my life and obsessive tendencies towards babes, and I ruined a take today by being too funny (haaaa more just ridiculous), but that seems to have little to do with getting into the serious, huge, intensive roles I dream of.
I dream of it all. If I dream of it all that means I don't have to take any of it seriously.
I think sometimes of "devoting myself to comedy" (as Ruckus hilariously put it recently) but sometimes I find comedians wearing and too-much. And comedians have tendencies towards self-destruction, depression, and drinking.
Sometimes I don't like the over-the-top nature of comedians, I don't like examining everything all the time for what is funny and what is not funny and why so.
and I do think it's easier for men to do both. women have a hard time being allowed to switch between true comedy and drama.

Or this is all just excuses why not to try for anything. Story of my life.

But, hey, congratulations to me for not going out tonight, I did want to see everyone after the shoot (basically you make movies in order to go for beers afterward, right?) but I am also sick and whiny and need alone time like whoa. 

Maybe I'll stay in for the next little bit, recoup lost time from the binge of party-time I've been having these past couple weeks. We'll see, we'll see.

I feel old, incapable, strong, and strangely hopeful tonight. Not the worst mix, actually.

Plus one glass of white wine, swiss cheese, and some dark chocolate with raspberries. It'll do.

random photo round-up plus great movie reviews!

I think it's possible that cabin fever is setting in. Or depression. I'm not sure which. Depressive cabin fever?

Maybe!




I haven't left the house yet today and the past couple of days I really only went out to walk the dog. Trying to stay in and be good and not drink and not hit on babes and especially not spend any money.

Unfortunately my plans to be getting shit done seem to be falling remarkably flat. Or expectedly flat.

Hmmmm.

There is nothing that I feel like doing. Nothing. I could do anything and there's nothing that I want to do. Except watch TV and waste time on the internet. How ridiculously sad is that? I have so many skills and passtimes. I cannot believe that I have the gift of all this free time (in between applying for jobs online, I mean) and that I'm not using it at all.
UGH. story of my life.

I have gotten a couple of minor things done. But so super minor. I could have my entire house cleaned, a whole script written, sellable crafts made, or at least the dishes all done.


I made cookies last night! And then today I ate them!
Okay, there's still a few left but not many. I'm not drinking so instead I'll eat!

These photos are from Loving In The Name Of, which is a dance party featuring a superband made up of members of lots of the best bands and they play the best songs ever and call themselves The Best. Fair enough!
Miss Lindeman and McGruff did a duet! And it was soooo lovely. I wish I'd gotten a photo of them holding hands it was too cute to deal with. Aww the babies.

They love me and I love them forever.

And these next few photos are from a fundraiser beer party for Birdtown Swanville we went to on Saturday.


I took a few more of the worst shots ever that night but luckily I deleted them! Was super happy to see people, super happy to break it down for a bit, and super happy to eat all the nachos at Sneaky Dee's afterwards with my favourite Dollface.
Home by 2:30, didn't go to an after party, what am I? A regular man?


And finally, this is the only photo I took at the clothing swap on Sunday. It looks like it should be on the oddly specific aspect of fail blog.

No one took that shirt home with them.
I also didn't take the sleazy tank top home with me that said "Rock Royalty" on it, despite Dayna's pushing. Hahahaaa I kind of wish I had. Except that what if people didn't get that it was a joke?

We did get really sweet hauls, though. I love swaps! Honestly, they are one of the best things to come into my life in the past few years. Some of my most favourite items have come into my life via my friends and their friends. Plus there was sangria!

Okay, since I've been at home watching so many movies lately, maybe you'd like some reviews? Probably not but whatever.
Hmmm. Actually I'm the worst at reviews of anything and I also hate when people ruin anything about movies or tell me anything about them before I see them. Whatever. Here are some things I thought,

Blue Valentine:
The posters for this make it look really really sexy and hot and fun. Maybe I should have watched a trailer or something because this is really sad. I didn't love Michelle Williams or Ryan Gosling as much as I thought I would in this. In fact, I maybe liked Ryan Gosling better in All Good Things, which I watched recently as well. They were still totally solid but because they are two of my favouritefavourites, I had high expectations for these guys. Can someone make Ryan Gosling my boyfriend? Also, it did make me want to get a good dad for my kids, though. Hmmmmm.
Recommend.

Catfish
Dudes, I'm not allowed to ruin this for you! It says right on the poster. But I will say that it is a documentary and not a horror film. And I like good documentaries and this one is pretty outrageous. It'd be hard to make something up this crazy. Morgan Spurlock thought it was a fake but I do not because you'd be hard-pressed to find an actor who could pull off playing this character.
Recommend.

Temple Grandin:
Claire Danes! I'm not even going to pretend for one minute that I don't have a deep love for Claire Danes. I do. Except I also find her annoying sometimes. But not here! No not here at all! Maybe slightly over the top? But also maybe not. Playing someone who is autistic would be terrifically hard. And I think she did such a lovely, warm job of playing someone who really isn't warm at all. This story was super interesting as well, trying to make farms and slaughterhouses much more humane for cattle? I'm in!
Recommend.

Adam
I wasn't even going to bother mentioning I watched this movie, as it was terrible. But then I remembered that Hugh Dancy is Claire Danes'... WAIT. I thought ex-boyfriend but I just checked and they are MARRIED. Wow. hmm, and in this movie he plays a man with Aspergers, which is on the Autism spectrum.
Okay. This movie is not terrrrible, it is just not great. I found it forced and also boring. I found his portrayal a bit false. I don't even know why. Now I feel bad since he probably has a soft spot for Claire Danes, too.
Alright, Hugh Dancy, I really really like your name, I'll give you that. When I was small I had imaginary friends named Soandso and Dancy. soooo..... nice work.
Do Not Recommend.

The Social Network
Interesting! More interesting than I thought! I like the guy in this a lot. Ummm.. yep, that's pretty much what I have to say about that. Also, I'm glad Facebook exists, how else would I creep on everyone all the time?
Recommend.

The King's Speech:
Man, dudes cry a lot when becoming king, hey? Actually the friendship in this story is super lovely and I cried when I watched it, so... actually that doesn't prove anything because I get choked up over everything. I like looking at Helena Bonham Carter and pretending I will have a career like hers one day. GOAL. I liked the sets in this movie, also. Oh, and Colin Firth was great.
Would it be weird to name my daughter Wallace? I guess Cheesbrough is probably bad enough without bringing Wallace into it. 
Recommend.

Wow, at this rate watching the Oscars is actually going to be interesting for me. I've actually seen some of the movies.

Now, if you are my mother I can hear you thinking that I am being ridiculous watching a billion movies (not to mention the TV shows! Did anyone watch Shameless?) instead of writing my own shit.
And you are really, really right.

SUPERSIGH. 

I should be doing the dishes

There's something kind of unexpectedly nice about realizing that I don't have that many friends left in Saskatoon. There are definitely a few people who I adore and who I am going to spend time with and party with in the next week+, and there are some coming back closer to actual Christmas, but there are way fewer than there used to be. And I am less worried about the social scene or any events.



(they say that bridge there is just waiting to collapse under its own weight. You're not even allowed to walk across it anymore. I wonder if/when it will fall.)


I have been pretty much purely relaxing. Like seriously relaxing.
I know this doesn't make for that interesting of a blog but it's very fun to live.

Friday I went out with JM to the Paved art gallery party. It was the closing reception for a piece called Back and Gone by Troy Gronsdahl (also known as Soso). I went into this exhibit and I may have been like, "that's it?" but then I stood there a bit longer. I'd visit the website and read the reviews for a description of it if I were you because I am bad at describing right now.

Possibly the reaction was meant to be one of unease but I have to say that being in this little chamber viewing this piece I felt oddly reassured and a bit sad. And afterward while I was enjoying the party I grew to like the piece more.
Like I missed it.

I wish I'd gone back and looked at again on my own.
I have a hard time with viewing art. Odd, considering how so many of my friends are artists and how my mother is an artist.
There is a bit of vulnerability involved in viewing art that I'm not always capable of. A bit of quiet and contemplation which I find easy in my private life, but in social situations I have a hard time keeping still.

Relatedly, I still do not own and would like to own Soso's first album. I own the second but I feel like the first was more for me. I should get ahold of that while I'm here. Remind me.



After Paved we went up to university to the student art auction. It turned out a billion people I know were there. Of course!
I actually have several fond memories of the art auction in years past. It's a pretty great event and it involves lots of drinking.

Seeing JM was rather nice. We have such an extensive history and I still do not know how to interact with him sometimes or properly look him in the face. This is not that odd for me.
I wrote about our history in this entry from August.
JM gave me a rather lovely collection of prints he'd drawn in the form of an almost-zine as well as a CD of songs from one of his current bands which he described as "a bit annoying".
This is beyond classic JM.
He is doing quite well, he informs me. He told me a bit about his all his kinds of art work. I think it's neat when people have their hands in many different projects and different kinds of arts.


(my cousin and aunt used to live in that apartment building and for years we had Christmas partly there and we'd get this view.)




Seven years ago, JM and his jazz band at the time played my moving-away party/birthday party/slumber party at Niki's mum's house (which was empty at the time awaiting renovations) and Niki slept in JM's keyboard case.

I slept side-by-side with my crush of two years, who had unexpectedly taken me up on my party invitation.
That guy is still one of my favourite friends, actually.

Ha, that's one of the problems with me these days. I am convinced that my big crushes will become my best friends, if not my husbands. Past precedents say yes.



(Adventure Cat is the silliest, most ridiculous cat I know of.)



Anyway. Since Friday I have not done any socializing except with family. In fact, I didn't leave the house at all on Saturday. And that was just fine by me.
I hung out with my cousin and her childrens all afternoon yesterday making crafts and chatting.

(more of cousin's tree. Soon photos of our most beautiful tree ever.)

And last night I decorated the tree with my mother.
More on all of this later.
Now I'm bored of writing and I want to go eat more cookies.



(Mrs. I wish you were here, I don't know what to buy!)


I made this banner the other day. Partly kitschy, partly tasteful (almost?). I'm into it.

Cougar Winter Boots (photo essay jk not photo essay)

I'm a little bit excited for when it starts snowing.
Because I love winter! And I want to try out my new boots!



So the folks at Matchstick got the folks at Cougar boots to give me some boots!
Two pairs of boots!

I'm super excited about these boots as I actually technically need good boots for this city. In Saskatoon (where you would think one would be needing the boots) I drove pretty much everywhere in the wintertime, hopping from the car to the inside. But in Toronto I walk everywhere (so much so that I'm getting shin splints this week, haa I'm so weak) and I fiercely need some good boots to wade through snowbanks and slush.



Remember when those sort of fake-suede boots were popular with the buckles on the side? I bought a pair of those a few years ago and I remember wading through a snowstorm to get to my friend's place for an afternoon Christmas crafting party and my feet getting soaked through in the worst possible way and now whenever it snows I can't get that memory out of my head and I get panicked because there's nothing worse than cold feet (wedding day joke here).

NO MORE COLD FEET.


(in this photo you can clearly see the puncture wounds still on my left leg from cat attack, pretty amazing, eh? Also the bruise on my inner right thigh I have no idea where that came from I bruise so easily but it's an impressive one none the less. good thing I'm showing off my wrecked legs so much!)


These boots (Ravishing Black, which come in a couple of different yet similar styles) are guaranteed waterproof and with high activity are good to -30C (!!!!!)
I will let you know how they are holding up when it's actually snowy and wintery but I will say that what I like about them off the bat is that they're not too heavy or cumbersome they seem like they'll be good for walking. Also the soles are pretty thick and cushy but with good grips on the bottom.
I generally buy all my shoes a size too big so that I can put my gel insoles in them (I find gel insoles invaluable for walking everywhere and working on my feet and wearing vintage shoes, etc.).
Also I get all my winter boots a size to big so I can get those heat-reflecting insoles as well and wear thick socks. I am very serious about my foot comfort.
I think I'll probably not need either variety of insole in these guys but I'll probably put them in anyway for ULTIMATE comfort. mmmmmm.



I obviously love that Cougar is a Canadian company with a good reputation, I'm not going to lie.
Also, my mother owns a pair of vintage Cougar (yes yes we all want to make cougar jokes all day we get it how clever) boots similar to these:

and they are the ultimate warmth so I expect these ones to follow suit. Those vintage ones are pretty sweet actually.



Also I like that the foldover (fake) fur at the top can be pulled up no kidding I'm pulling that up to my knees when I wear skirts and tights out all winter (I hate pants) then with my long parka I'll be almost sensibly dressed.


I still have my red "Tibet" rainboots they gave me to review, I'll get that up for you soon! With more ridiculous photos!
Man, it'd be so rad if I had a roommate/boyfriend who felt like taking my picture all day I constantly underestimate how much time/effort it takes to take a billy photos of myself.
Wow, my life is roughhhh.



Just kidding I'm having more chai tea and watching Dexter and making Christmas cards and the cat keeps rolling herself right off my lap.

check out the Cougar boots website for more info on the company and they have a bunch of different styles there's actually a few more I want.. maybe next year...