dating advice #1 - how to show you're interested

here is my first video in a new series I'm making wherein I give you some dating advice. I think my take on dating is universal and will give you all you need to know about how to date and keep dating.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, this advice is worth hearing.

Please send your relationship related questions to me and I will answer them in video format! You can email me, or leave your questions in the comments below. It can be for advice for you, your friend, or your "friend", I'm easy.
And that's why I'm the expert.


Also, a BIG shout-out HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my favourite people, Dollface turns 12 today!! Congrats baby! She can now babysit your kids!



here we are last hallowe'en with Flash Gordon!
and then I tried to woo her.

and then we laughed

getting past being bad without giving up

I love the internet!
Okay so a cool vague-friend of mine (and fellow blogger), Nicole on FB today posted a link to this video:

Ira Glass (of This American Life) on the creative process.

MAN THIS HAS HIT HOME.

Okay so what he's saying is that for artists they get into making art because they have good taste. They admire the art form that they are trying to make. TV, film, comedy, theatre, etc etc and so they know what's good and have discerning tastes but when you start to make art there's a gap period where the art you make cannot live up to your discerning tastes and during that gap a lot of people quit. (or make shitty stuff and pretend it's high-brow?????? jk?)
So much sense!

I always feel (like the deservist entitled young person that I am) that I should magically be able to do everything perfect right off the bat. If I have to actually work at something and produce shitty stuff before it's good then I"m obviously not naturally talented and it's obviously not worth it.

I'm going to ahead and blame my mother partially at least on this one because my mother is a genius and was older when she had me so had a lot of time to get good at a lot of different things and so she makes arts and crafts and photography and sewing and even building look effortless. Okay okay not effortless, just not as ridiculously hard as I find them.
Ha, she is still probably 50% more talented than I am except at acting probably and maybe being funny. Except she's funny in a different way. Like more puns. hahaaaa

BUT
the only reason why I'm able to be as good at things as I am now (nowhere near where I'd like to be but still pretty okok) is because she's backed me up on pretty much everything. And is the ultimate best at complimenting my achievements. Plus I'm pretty sure she actually believes in me.

Ugh, why don't I explain why I love my mum some more, eh? grosssssssss
hahaaa my little cousin asked my mum if she were vegetarian and she said something along the lines of
"I'm 95% vegetarian and the rest of the time I'm just a hypocrite"

ahahahaaaaa classic.

ANYWAY
I read this pilot yesterday written by a woman a couple of years younger than me which is TOPNOTCH and it made me want to punch myself in the eyes.
Just kidding it inspired me. I have never been able to take myself seriously like I could never create to the degree which I would be satisfied with so there's no point in trying. But these days I'm reexamining it... I think I maybe do have excellent ideas and I have to stop psyching myself out about it.

YEAH.

Also I reread the first 15 pages I wrote awhile ago of a feature I have in mind and it was surprisingly good. So There.
Now I just need to write another 75 pages and we'll be good to go.

Stole these photes from my SubRosa friend! Ammmmaaazing. I love almost-cute.
Aw man imagine if I met biodad and he looked like this? Adorable. 

Hmm well now I've avoided doing any real work for long enough maybe I'll get to it. Or maybe I'll just make some soup. We'll see!

why yes that is a christmas plaid shirt

Hello, I am a lumberjack voyageur hipster. I will cut down your Christmas tree for you!


Oh it's Sheriff Little Red Riding Hood.

Yeah we went out again for hallowe'en last night.
Went to the Laugh Sabbath show at Rivoli with Flash Gordon. We had some good laughs yeah actually a few great things to laugh at. There was candy on all the tables and we ate SO MUCH of it. Flash Gordon is going to see her nutritionist today so she was living it up. hahahaaaa aww man I've been feeling so sick from eating everything I shouldn't eat.
It seems unfair that lots of people just eat garbage and feel fantastic and I can't eat anything! Brutal!
Chocolate chocolate candy chocolate.

Oh yeah also one of the acts was incredibly over-the-top gross sexually like to an extreme that I've not experienced and I could not get over the fact that there were old people there and how offended they must have been.
This did not stop me from laughing hysterically forever, though. Just in an awkward way.


Why yes I did have a different mustache than the previous night. I think I lost that first mustache. This one clips into my nose! Kinda gross! I also got tired very quickly of having my hair under the hat. And of wearing a boy costume in general. It's weird not having a bit of cute to fall back on.


After Laugh Sabbath we went and picked up Dollface from her staff meeting and then cabbed it up to Rosedale for a Hallowe'en party where we were convinced we'd meet millionaires to buy us SO MANY THINGS.



I don't know what Dollface was exactly. Neither does she. An assassin? A spy? Demi Moore in Striptease? A member of the press missing a camera? Take your pick! She looked hot, anyway, that's probably the point. Hot yet not slutty, both of my friends actually. It was a Hallowe'en miracle!



Unfortunately the party was completely winding down and I insisted on leaving. Hahaa can't take me anywhere.

We did take lots of photos though to make it seem like we were having a good time!!
No actually I had a lot of fun. I love Flash Gordon and Dollface both of them are funnnny.





We brought some roses along with us from DF's workplace that her parents had given her so we were cabbing around the city with a huge bouquet of long-stem white roses basically. You can bet I gave them to people who I felt were deserving, that's for sure.

Props are the best!
Can't have a good party without good props pretty much!



Cabbed back to sanity by which I mean Ossington ended up at Commie visited our bud who works there and I bothered his friends who were sitting at the bar. Basically barged in on their conversation and gave them candy and roses I'm like the suavest dude ever pretty much, eh?
I don't think they were too annoyed I hope. I wasn't even totally blasted just feeling particularly belligerent, ya know?
I can be very determined about partying. 


I'm not going to post their photos though I thought about it. It's such a back and forth thing with this website like who wants their privacy protected? who doesn't really care?
You can write whatever you want about me wherever I don't have issues with being over-shared on the internet obviously. I feel something like people need to chill out about it but I can also see feeling a bit weird.
I like to respect people.
I mean, I'd like to respect people.



Did I ever tell you about the time when I had a boyfriend (I use the term boyfriend lightly, obviously) who thought I was insaaane for putting anything on the internet and one time he called me from his work number just to creep me out and pretend he'd found out all about me off the internet?
Good joke!
Just kidding it wasn't that good of a joke.
He was sort of a comedian seems like he could have thought of better. I considered telling you a bit more about him there and then linking to his websites but then he would SHIT BRICKS and plus we barely dated and we're still okay buds sort of except he thinks women shouldn't get to make dirty jokes and he's pretty religious. Also he didn't really like affection. BIZARRE.
Hmmmmmmmmm did I just tell this story already on here like really recently? Does anyone even read the words I write? WHO KNOWS.


This is our bud. He doesn't get privacy.

Okay then this morning I woke up and this was happening:



hahahaaawwwwwww.

were you lookin at my girl quit lookin at my girl

I kind of wish that I lived on the ground floor so that I'd be giving out candy right now I really want to see all the little babies in their costumes that's all.
I did see a cute little girl at Nirvana today and she had a cute dad and I was like "I think I'm ready to be a step-mum". Also watching babes interact with kids makes feel a bit insane. Whatever!

Nirvana has the ultimate worst service ever, hey? no but really. it's actually remarkable!
I think I was still drunk at our 4 p.m. brunch. I was also the only one who ordered a bloody mary. to be fair I had been dreaming about that bloody mary for about 1.5 hours prior to actually getting to brunch.



HALLOWE'EN HALLOWE'EN HALLOWE'EN.
ah man I had such a good time last night! Totally fucking did it up right. I laughed SO MUCH. that's how you know you're having fun. the laughing.



Started off at a parkdale house party with Mrs. and that crew hosted by miss Sub Rosa. I ate too many chips and spinach dip so gross I felt sick pretty quickly after that.
My friend who was dressed as Carmen Sandiego came and met me there. Pretty sweet costume but most especially because she acted the part as well. Actors are the best.





We then left to head to Dundas west thinking about hitting up Garrison as swag was there and he said it was fun but on the way we found a big plastic kid's wagon and so Carmen Sandiego was pulling me in it. We needed to get a cab though so we got one and the lovely cab driver let us put the wagon in the trunk!

FUCK YEAH, CAB DRIVER made my night.
so sweet.




We got deposited on Dundas a few blocks away so that Carmen Sandiego could pull me down the street hahahaaaa oh man did I love that I was laughing so hard.

We made Swag come out to see us also we went back and forth in on dundas for awhile but it was lined up so we couldn't go inside.



But that turned out fine because we went and met Norman at a house party basically in the park.
Carmen Sandiego and I took turns pulling each other in the wagon on the way there hahahaaa talking on your iphone while being pulled in a wagon is so silly!


oh yeah we found a bed on the road as well. We sat there for a spell.



We pulled up in front the house and we weren't sure if it was the right place so we yelled up at the people on the balcony and then one of them was like "is that meredith?" so classic! I had no idea who it was at all and they weren't responding. but then we went instead and found Norman and other people and then it turned out it had been Chris Locke yelling at me!
I love Chris Locke! He's too funny.
How the fuck he recognized me I'll never know. Ha, though also I went to drop off Dollface's keys at her work last night and forgot I was in costume and my fav door guy still recognized me. hahaaa I make such a good boy. I'm so sexy.



So, yeah, Carmen Sandiego and I stayed and partied forever.
We went out on the various balconies and climbed ladders up onto the roof. All smart activities like responsible people.

the house was so nice. seriously fucking nice. serious balconies. I'm very very jealous.



We told the one girl who lived there that she could keep the wagon but then when I left I felt like taking it home (I left rather abruptly after noticing that I was too drunk to be allowed around people anymore, actually I don't remember the last bits of interactions with a bunch of people. yikes) so I dragged it for a little while but then ended up depositing it in front of Violet's parents' house for some reason! hahaha ughh sorry parentssss.


I fell asleep wrapped around my computer and with my contacts in. I'm glad I slept for 8 hours because otherwise I would be more of a wreck today I'm pretty sure. What's with this week? it's fuckin' nuts, eh?

Also being in character last night was SO FUN and I got to say things like "Hold on I gotta pick my fuckin' dick up"  obviously.
and I got to leer at everyone pretty much.


Hallowe'en is so fun wearing costumes is the best. I don't know if I'm going to wear one tonight it's so cold out. Yeah I realize that it's actually Hallowe'en but still..
Also I think I lost my mustache

Me and Flash Gordon are going to go to this:

hahahaaaa good video that makes me want to go. not kidding.

OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU:
Chris Locke admitted to me that he thinks I'm funny.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwesome.

hallow hallow's eve

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!

I'm very very happy that I have tomorrow fully off because for some reason instead of this week being a life-job working productivity week it has turned into an all-out shitshow of midsummer proportions.
I had people over after the bar last night (note, if you stock booze at your house your house will automatically become a party zone. which is fun if you like partyzones but pretty soon every glass in the house will be dirty) and we were up until like 7 a.m. or something silly like that I think they went out afterward actually pretty nutso.

We ate all the cheese and people were a bit displeased because I've run out of sweet tea vodka. Oh man sweet tea is so good.
I have such fun friends sometimes, eh?


Here is my costume from two years ago, I was a christmas elf:

 Fine, I realize you can't really see my costume. But my braid looks sweet.

From last year:

 I'm a ranch hand!

 JL was basically nothing. Just because you're wearing a leather jacket and you don't normally wear a leather jacket doesn't mean you're in costume. god.

 

More from this night here.
Man I am SO excited to wear my mustache again. I feel like it really really suits me.

Ha, my friend and I were joking about not having "committed to any parties" but really what we meant was we weren't invited to any....
I do have a couple of invitations now but boy do I ever not want to go to work beforehand... Hopefully it goes real quick and we get out early. I wonder if they'd let me wear my mustache... I bet no.

Not to keep just recycling content here but this from my blog two years ago I still think it's funny:

COSTUMES I THOUGHT ABOUT GOING AS:

A Wedding Vehicle
(dressed in white with the paper flowers in rows on me, a "just married" sign and tin cans trailing from my butt)

My Dad (circa 1983)
(Hahahahahahahah wearing a moustache and holding a dirty magazine and a cup 'o sperm)

hahaaaa I do kind of love costumes.  Good costumes are very impressive.
I want to meet up with Dayna tonight at some point specifically because she and her husband are THE BEST at costumes and hallowe'en. No, really.
Maybe I will steal some photos from her later to show you.
Good thing she found a husband who loves hallowe'en too, hey?
Now I just need to find a Christmas-husband.
MMMHMMM.

fell right over but only felt it later

Ronnie's Friday instead of dressing up for Hallowe'en like I'd kind of been dreaming of. Oh Well! It turned out to be real fun. Met up with some friends I don't see nearly enough of, including this friend who can be the life/driving force of the the party if he so chooses. And he tends to pick his moments, instead of spreading himself party-thin like I do. Which is probably why he is an accomplished writer/artist/director/actor/etc and I am not. Don't worry, I'm sure I will be soon!

Annnnywaysssss. We sat on the patio! Probably the last patio-sit of the year? It was really warm out. Sass came by and wasn't even wearing a jacket but it wasn't no big thing. Warmth!

We got grilled cheese from the new grilled cheese store across the road. They deliver their grilled cheeses right to the Ronnie's patio! I know, right?
On our way to order I (drunkenly) caught my cowboy boot in between the bench and the table and fell REAL HARD onto the ground. I hit my ass very hard on the corner of the bench and bruised the hand I fell on. I wish I had a picture of the ass-bruise because it is pretty intense, but there's just no way of getting a photo of it that isn't weird. It's just too close to my lady-bits. Ya know? Rest assured, it is a sweet bruise, very deeply coloured, and such.
It hurts to ride my bike. The roads are very bumpy!

Went to a party at a loft after Ronnie's - I only went for about 10 minutes, just to see what was what and to take a bunch of photos I guess.



It was so, so, so, soooo humid in there! Unreal. It had cleared out a lot but there were still some people dancing and some people by the bar and holy shit was it humid. We had to clean our camera lenses every few seconds!

Gave us a sort of unearthly ethereal kind of a glow, though


Hipster beers for all!!!!

That beer looks magically cold and delicious. I want one again please?



I really like this photo of Sass, jfyi





And then everyone wanted me to go home


And so I did!!!

All stories should have as happy an ending as this one...