she didn't put out, though

guess for how long I generally hit the snooze button?
an hour!
I always have such good intentions for the mornings or even early afternoons and then I just snooze-button through them.
it's not the worst. I am not the worst these days. I'm still getting things done. A lot of work this weekend and a lot a lot of the best kind of socializing.




I'm better at having fun these days. I keep thinking I was always good at having fun but I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
Partially now it's because I have systematically friended all of the most wonderful people in the universe to be my bffs and hang out with me.
These days I can generally find someone I quite, quite like to accompany me to shows I want to go to or hang out with me until 4 a.m. or have coffee in the middle of the afternoon with me.
this is a big contribution to my overall well-being and general happiness these days.
Also, possibly a factor, is my continued commitment to being in charge of my own fun, and my constant resolutions to avoid unnecessary stress. I'm not the boss of these yet, but hopefully some day.
And with that I hope to (somehow) marry being a good worker with being the happiest.
It's all in the works (by 50 I will have figured it out, maybe... but, hey, nothing really actually matters, so that's alright!).




The other night I came home after a long shift and told Norman that I'd probably stay in for the evening. Of course that meant that he came over and we stayed up until something like 4 or 4:30 drinking whiskey and talking about love and art. We were joined by Yulie and her bf and even by our other bud around 3 in the morning.




Norman and I curled up under the Christmas duvet on the couch and reveled in our heart-breaks and our big future plans, and mulled over our current life situations.
Kind of a perfect way to spend an evening.
even the sadnesses sometimes are lovely if you can detach enough to get perspective. Sadness is reassuring because it can be proof of good-hearts and investment in things.





Last night Flash Gordon took me out on the town for a big date to celebrate my birthday and Christmas!



She knows about my current interest in dates and how I never go on them and took the opportunity to take me out on the town and show me a good time!


She got me flowers and gifts! whatthehell! the gifts were the best because they were re-gifts and found things which makes me so much less uncomfortable! Plus they were awesome.

Also, this may be obvious already but it can't hurt to tell you again, I love Flash Gordon.
Haaaa, we went to comedy bar on Sunday and in the bathroom I asked her about if she loves me. She does.
It's funny how some friendships are quick and strong right away and some sneak up on you until you turn around and realize that you're accidentally the best at being friends.
Flash Gordon and I worked together at the stadiums for years now and did a Fringe play that she wrote maybe three summers ago (four? two?) and even after that it took us quite awhile to realize how we should spend more time together.
I think it started when we started going for sushi after work together. So it was nice that we did that again for our special date!




sushi dinner and white wine!

hhaaahaa. so fun. I felt awkward about it being our big date. that's my classic move, feeling awkward on dates.



We went to see Hugo in 3D after dinner. I'd never been to a 3D movie before! I like Hugo well enough. I wasn't blown away by it, but it was nice. 3D is weird. I got a little bored of it after awhile, I found it harder to concentrate on the story because the 3D was distracting me.


on our way out I told Flash Gordon that she wasn't being a good date because she wasn't spooning me on the escalators down like the other couple there, so she happily obliged.


hahaha :) awwww
Flash Gordon and I think each other are the funniest and we fall over laughing at our own selves mostly every few minutes. THAT IS THE ULTIMATE FUN.

We thought about kissing at the end of the date, but... I'm a lady, so...

what a lucky lady I am most days these days, guys.

Aw man, nothing like counting your blessings and thinking about how much you love your friends to get you in a good mood. Now I feel fantastic.

Gotta get to crafting and then shopping and then working tonight!
So, so much to do and it's about to get crrrrazy busy for here on in!

Friday night is my birthday Christmas get-together, Sophiyka and Mike's Christmas party is Saturday and then I'm hosting the Christmas edition of Mixtape Club on Sunday and then I work Monday and then home on Tuesday. JESUS! yikes! wonderful!
so much to do!

I want to see everyone before I go, and I want to see everyone in Saskatoon so bad!
it's finally starting to feel like the holidays!
it comes so slow and goes too fast!

come over for boardgames

 

Hey, here's something neat; I haven't been a push-things-too-far-asshole in about a year and half according to my calculations!
RIGHT ON.



Remember when I was the kind of person who would push every crush to see what I could get and even when I knew I didn't want to keep hanging out with them I did so that I could continue getting attention? So classy.
Remember two-weekers? I've pretty much gotten that pattern out of my system, I think. Now I know how to get out before it gets like that.
Remember when my mother told me after I'd been dating a dude for over a month that she'd known from the beginning he had no chance?
I have made an actual concerted effort for the past while now to specifically not push things just to see what I can get. Or to pretend I want to be in something I don't. Or to date for the sake of dating.
Oh, man I mean, I'm still not the best.
For instance, I have a crush on everyone I see at first and will push to see if it's reciprocated. But once I realize I'm not actually interested, I back right off.  Sure there are people I should not have kissed and probably should have texted back, but at least I didn't pretend like I wanted to hang out forever like I have in the past.  And I don't actually think I've hurt anyone's feelings particularly in quite sometime.

Hmm. maybe by saying how I'm a better person now, I'm just pointing out how awful I've been in the past. But it's not like most people I know aren't like that sometimes.


Although, you know this means I've been on the other side of it a bit more in the past while. And since before I was arrogantly yelling around about how I deserved a good heart-break, then I guess yeah, it makes sense.

Despite things not particularly going "my way" lately, I'm pretty happy with how I am.
I'm being a kind sort of person, care-taking. A bit too giving, yeah, but sometimes people come into your life and kind of need to be taken care of for a minute.
About one situation I remember saying, 'Well, at least it's me, because I can deal with this'. obnoxiously martyring, yeah. I'll be glad when this stage is done, too.

Another thing I'm pleased I've held onto is how naieve and open I am still. You tell me something, I'll pretty much believe it. Why would you lie to me? I don't want to hang out with liars. 
I still think that people are generally out for the greater good, and not just manipulating everyone and everything to get what they want.
I just can't be that cynical. I think that would be more heart-breaking than actual heart-break in some ways.
And I'm still not going to try to manipulate situations or people or play at things. I just can't. The only thing I value is honesty. And I've actually gotten quite a bit of that this summer. which saved me a lot of distress, and saved friendships.




Went out last night with Dollface to some clubs that I never really go to. We were with some finance guys for a minute but didn't really stay with them, ran into some other random people DF knew. 
Ended up being pretty fun. Some men bought us some drinks. Yep, still feel mildly uncomfortable with being boughten things.
Actually, the dudes we randomly ended up partying with were very lovely. And they were drinking champagne which looked so good but I fiercely stuck to my 6 drink limit and yet still have a headache today.
I did have some awesome dance moves for Dollface for a bit there against a railing. Oh who even lets me out in public?








Finally a new living room set-up! Am I pleased? why yes, yes I am.

the shelving unit is just fruit crates I found in the road and I really couldn't be more pleased about it.
I'm going to turn the table legs around so they bow inwards I think, they stick out a bit much for my liking, but at least we finally have a table! this has been on my wishlist for months! Finally a little place for crafts or games or computer-working. Anything, really!
The living room had been the one room I hadn't touched and hadn't put effort into and therefore was my enemy for this whole summer and now it's too cold to be out on the decks we really need a lovely, warm, cozy, welcoming living room. So glad.




If you haven't watched my video about hockey from the previous post, I suggest you do. Come on now.

Also, improv is totally taking over my life in every way still. And I still love it. If only instead of sucking all my money out of me it would give me money that'd be the best ever.

might as well jump

ever just hang out with your fam and put your hands on your faces? We do!
there was almost certainly a lot of bossing going on before this photo was taken.

bet my mum wishes she didn't have such blurry children. haahaaa ugh, sorry. terrible joke.
My bro's been bugging me to post these photos for awhile and since I'm SUCH A GOOD SISTER I'm finally getting around to it. You're welcome, brother mistletoe.


People really like my mum. I don't know why. Except she's probably the kindest. Oh, we've been over this before? Well neverrrr mind, then.

E and I both kind of look like her and like each other. We have different biodads, though so it's okay if we're not like twinners or something. I'd like to see E's biodad, that'd be a trip.
Also, my biodad, obvi.


No, really, guys. Menu time.
Sorry for not photographing other people at this table. Well, at least we got some family portraits done.

I like Las Palapas. I miss Saskatoon. Always this time of year I miss Saskatoon. I kind of think I will only be able to afford to once this year. Via has last minute fares that are only like $150 right now. I wish.


ready?

yeeeah

fucking nailed the landing.
hahaha gremlin face on me, hey!

I've had a fucking craving and a half for that weird do-it-yourself soup I get at Las Palapas. Anyone know what that shit's called? I tried to make something like it... it was just alright.


Goddamn, I am one fine specimen. Where did they find the sperm donor to make such a lovely and delicate flower of a lady?
Haa, E looks rather handsome here, too bad about me ruining this photo.

Yeah so I'm home again. Alone. Again.
Not spending money, not socializing. I spent noooo money today. Beat that. Not even a coffee or anything.

I get busy starting this weekend basically, start having a lot more shifts and making money money money.
Remind me that I need to not go out as much, still. And that I need to start using my dollars to pay my bills and act like an adult and shit.
No, don't remind me. I'll only want to punch you.

Clothing swap at  Russet & Empire tomorrow! I am excited for new clothes and wine and new buds. All of that!
And clothing swaps have definitely been saving me in these frugal times. I think half my wardrobe now is swapped. Amazing.
Let me know if you want to come along, obviously.


In other news:

Mini-flask necklaces!



I've had questions on where/how to get these and for how much, etc.
The young ladies pulling cans of PBR out of their bags in the bar washroom were very impressed by them! Plus, it's the one gift I've gotten Dollface that she has truly appreciated. Hahaaa.



I was considering making an etsy page but I don't really want to give them a percentage. How about if you just tell me if you want one and I'll make it happen?



$15/each
$25/two (great gifts!)
$5/shipping (Canada and U.S.)
less if you need, 20 if you're rich. (I don't know anyone rich now that I think of it.)
plus if you're a bud, it'll come pre-filled. haahaaa so handy. and if you live/work anywhere within a reasonable distance of me, I'll deliver it. I mean, I don't have anything else to do, really.


The blue one in the middle there, that's my favourite. I can't deal with how much I like that pattern. I made two. One for me, one for you. 



Okay. So buy one. I can do special requests in terms of the paper that covers them, also. If you have ideas, let me know.

BYE NOW.

just taking a little breatherrrr

my aunt just told me I haven't updated in forever. So I checked. And guess what? she was right!

I have a really fucking shitty cold that's fucking up my head right now! I just finally gave up and took some drugs. I sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and my eyes they water and my head it hurts. Dislike! I'm hoping the drugs clear me out for a bit so I can get something done.
Just kidding, I'm productive. Medium productive.

I went to the mall today! I always forget about malls in Toronto. Saskatoon has lots of malls that I go to. I like going to the mall! mostly because I don't have to work in one, probably. Nor do I have to go to them ever.
Malls are good because they have lots of different things in them. I got a couple of headshots printed off. Don't tell my mother but I got them done at walmart. Not my fault, I can only afford to print off a couple at the cheapest rate, so walmart was my best choice. sighhhh.

I decided to take the overwhelming votes for #1 headshot as the one, and I even put my name on it like a real life actor.



I like it. I'm into it. I'm ready to get on with being the best ever actor around.

I saw at least 6 robins today. Plus probably some people whose names were Robin but I didn't know so let's call it 12.
I saw the supermoon the other night but not until it looked just reg.

I worked several days in a row and now I have no work for several days. When April gets here it'll be alright. Fingers crossed. That's what I say every year.


I hate when news anchors excuse their terrible jokes by saying something along the lines of "I just had to...".
NO YOU DIDN'T. SHUT UP YOUR HEAD.

haaaaa I think I might be in a temper.
I want to go out for beers and nachos!! I wish I were at Hoops!
Norman and Firehorse are texting me from Sneaky Dee's!! ugh! ugh! 

I went out on the town pretty much every day for the last two weeks so now I am on a self-enforced break from socializing.

It's hard because Norman keeps texting me and lots of other people are doing very fun people without me. I know I know, so much to complain about in my life.

We have had SO MUCH FUN LATELY.
I'm not kidding around on this one. Do you laugh til you fall over every night? Several times a night? and not just because you've been drinking?


(the floor at the ossington. I like this grate.)

Carla Ghee, Firehorse, Norman, and I have been an almighty team lately in the biggest party way (they actually party (drink) way more than I can). And they are so stupidly, wonderfully funny that I almost can't bear it sometimes.

I wish I could go back in time to tell teenage me that don't worry about not having friends then because at 27 I'll look around and see that somehow I've managed to amass some of the most wonderful people in the world to hang out with.

Am I hormonal? maybe.

I don't mean just Carla Ghee, Firehorse, and Norman. I mean, it's stupid how many people I want to be hanging out with right now. You know what it takes for me to turn down a funtime? A LOT.


I ate an apple on St. Patrick's at the ossington. I was not really feeling the funtime then. I pretty much played out my party streak. I liked that apple, though.
I went home before last call and was sober enough to read my book for awhile
(Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami, which I've owned from a clothing swap for probably two years and am only getting to now and guess what? It's so great!!)


It's not that I'm not enjoying this alone time. To the contrary, I'm catching up on Boardwalk Empire and movies, taking care of business, reorganizing, covering more mini-flasks (more on that tomorrow, hopefully!), doing some sewing and mending, cooking and cooking and cooking and eeeaaattting.


I made pancakes several times this week. This one rice flour variety I have is really only good for pancakes. But it is f-ing good. Kingsmill or something. Anyway.

I ate so many flipping pancakes. I wish I had more of that flour then I'd eat some more. Not joking. I'm hungry. Not actually hungry, just bored.

Fucking nice plate Dollface gave me, also. Sturdy and huge. Perfect for pancakes.


Anyway. we went out. every day. Carla Ghee has been waiting for me to post pictures of our adventures. Carla Ghee can party anyone under the table. She can dance to dubstep until 5 a.m. I don't know how. She is a bad (good) influence. She suggested day drinking on St. Pat's and I suggested Bloody Marys so that it looked socially acceptable. We are geniuses.

She is also very beautiful and snags lotsa babes.


One time we found a tub on the sidewalk and we put it down and got in and then a ghost came

and the ghost was like "hhheeeyyyyyy"

but super quiet so no one heard it.


maybe it was the ghost who also pulled the door off the washroom at the bar. Which bar?
I'm confused because we don't seem to be at Hoops in these photos.

I love Hoops. I think I like Hoops better than I like any other bar right now. It may have started as a joke but now I love it.
I love the bartenders and I love sitting at the bar and we had really good fajitas the other night and I like all the tvs kind of. I mostly love the staff. And being a regular there. Where else can you be a  good regular? And not care what you look like?
Our favourite bartender got the scoop on my Hoops crush for me.
Salt and pepper, almost
reddish beard
plaid rolled-up sleeves
faded tattoos
Turns out he's a chef, though.
sigh.
I do not want a chef boyfriend. I mean, he can still be my Hoops crush and since I'm into sowing my wild oats (mum cringe) then who cares.
but if I did care, I would care about him being a chef. you know what chefs like? meat. and gluten, almost certainly.

You know what's the best about crushes when you're pretty sure you're not looking to be tied down?
Nothing about the babes matters. I mean, the basics, sort of.
But anything else? Not a big deal.

Differing religious beliefs?
Leafs fan?
Hates cats?
Bad shoes?
Catholic guilt?
High all the time?

Doesn't matter! At all! No one cares!



this is what the window at my house looks like. I am upstairs, working away. Or at least eating and watching tv. Yes, I still have a wreath in my window. Obviously.