cottage dreams

I'm back from the cottage. It's much hotter in the city. The sun sets behind the cottage and it gets shady very early in the evening and cools down the house. I'm never too hot in the evenings there beside the lake. I like being chilly at night, wearing sweatpants, roasting marshmallows in the fireplace, sleeping under a big duvet.




I like the cottage, you may have guessed.
I read zero books. I drank one hundred beers. I ate everything in sight. Had some good chats, had some really, really fantastic swims.
It's funny because I'm a bit hesitant about going into the water at first. I mean, I still do it, but I wonder if I even like swimming. But once I'm in, man. Last one out, basically always.
Last night it was pretty cool all day and then it rained a bit off and on and I took myself out on a kayak expedition around the lake just before sunset and I felt the water and it was warm, so when I got back I went swimming.
so fucking lovely. It was maybe the warmest the water was all weekend. And Dollface was in the sunroom basically ignoring me and Kaya (the dog) wasn't too whiney about me being in the lake for so long and I just dicked around in there like there was no tomorrow.
The best.



Hopefully I will have more to say about this later. Right now I'm hot and tired. I'm refusing to get out of my bathing suit and I'm having a dinner beer. No interest in reality. No interest at all.

It was a super low-key and relaxing weekend. No mascara, no cool outfits, no one to feel awkward around.
In August I think it will be maybe 7 or 12 people or more or less and it will be way more of a party weekend and I'm excited for that. But I'm pleased at how relax-a-saurus this weekend was. Caught up on all my sleeping and lazing about.





this bikini is from Giant Tiger. Prune had the same one at one point, I copied her by buying it. I wonder if she still owns hers.



Thank god for blogs, otherwise what would be the point of taking all these photos.



Probably should go see what my bender gang is up to. I haven't seen them in a couple weeks, which in bender gang time is approximately one year.

dock's a-waiting!

Quick Q! How many bikinis is too many to pack?? haahhaaaa just kidding I'll only take three.



t minus some minutes before I leave for FRIENDSHIP RETREAT COTTAGE WEEKEND. ughgughgghhh. I'm so excited!


stone cottage dreamhome. who wants to pitch in and buy this with me?? come on. let's get serious.





oh yeah, so I met my new roommate, Chanel:



Oh yeah, she came with a human. The human seems nice. hahahaaaaa awww I love cats. Chanel purred around my legs already this morning.
I wonder what my new lady-roommate's nickname will be. She's a stranger I met for the first time yesterday so we'll have to give it a moment to figure it out!

Got a headache in my brain from drinking and not sleeping enough but last night was a whole lot of fun. Remount of the Book of Moron.

Guys. on a semi-related note, all of my hardwork in friendships has really paid off for me. I have the BEST friends. Honestly. I have friends that I want to cry when I see them because they are that nice and great and love me so much. Anyway, thanks to everyone who came out to this show. A year of work!
I can't believe that it's done. I'm quite sad. It's crazy when something this intensive is over.
Such good work we did. We came so fucking far. I love that some of my friends came to our first class shows and got to be amazed at how far we've come.
nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice



BRB GUYS HERE THIS IS WHERE I'LL BE!



I can't wait to get into my bedroom!!! I can't wait! I can't wait to look out my window (oh yeah, also this is definitely Dollface's family's cottage but I definitely pretend it's for me only mostly. haahahaha yeeeeeahhhh)

I'm already standing on the ground

been staying at Dollface's the past few nights while she's out of town on "business". I like Kaya.

Kaya does not understand about timer photography. She thinks I'm running back and forth to play with her. You wish, dog. 

I was grumpy but I already took pictures of these boats and I thought if I got in the picture too then it would be more interesting.
I have a couple of shifts at work this weekend like a real employed person.

These kittens are in a window by Norman's house and there were six of them all asleep in a cuddle-puddle in the cage. did my heart pretty much melt out of my chest? yep.
GIMME.

 I tried to take a picture of how witchy it was out last night but you can't really get the whole picture. I was a bit in love with it though.
Now I'm listening to the Eagles because I obviously have had that witchy woman song stuck in my head all day and it's just gone from there...


Went to a fashion launch event thing with Norman last night. I was feeling too tired for proper party and he was a bit POed that I went home real early. I know, I'm lame.
Actually I haven't been out past call at all really this week... hey maybe I am calming down! that'd be so weird. (also, I wouldn't count on it!) 


the view from the roof at this party last night was wonderful, though. and the company was good and the fashion was super-neat. I'm just tired.
I'm still tired. tired, tired, tired.
I did have a lovely brunch today at Aunties and Uncles with Carlos who is in town for the weekend. Nice to see her! And nice to go to Aunties, I hadn't been in forever and it's still sooooo good. I always feel a bit sad when I've eaten it all and the soup was something like pumpkin squash apple cider.... uh huh.

yep, time just keeps slipping out from under me these days.


sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorryblog.



also have not been keeping up with private blog AT ALL sorry long-distance family you don't know every minute detail of what's going on with me, my bad.

I've been very, very busy doing pretty much nothing at all, which seems to take a lot of time, effort, and money. classic.


(this wig has been hanging out at my house and I keep putting it on and forgetting about it. It makes me kind of miss having dark hair! also, in this pictures I am being a "comedian". funny, yeah?)

I do swear, though, that at any moment I'm about to settle the eff down.

Maybe now that my slate is actually clear of babes this will become true. Especially since because of the pact I cannot go out looking for buffers.



Maybe you're wondering what a buffer is!

In terms of babes, I am very, very into buffering. When I'm in a situation where I'm not getting what I want/I think I'm about to get hurt/it's not enough, etc, etc, then I will specifically look for new involvement in order to make me feel better.
Pretty cool move! 
If you get enough babes to have crushes/possibilities with/get to kiss on the mouth, then you can pretty much just rotate through them and never actually stop to think about any of it. There's always something exciting on the horizon, ya know?

Part of the pact I've made with my friend specifically involves not doing that. Because mostly buffering a situation just ends up in a bigger mess. And more stress to deal with.
(Ha, sometimes you just gotta yell BUFFER THAT SHIT and go out on the town, though...) 



I've been thinking a great deal lately about trying to figure out what I actually feel about situations. Because there's:
A) What I should feel (as per society's standards/friends' reactions/etc)
B) What I do feel (at that moment, but it changes so quickly, too)
C) What I want to feel

Sometimes I think it's possible to just decide to feel something. Maybe occasionally.



I went on a date last week. It was very specifically a date, partially because I was lamenting how I never go on dates, and partially because this dude particularly owed me a whole evening. For various reasons. Mostly to do with how I have been a really terrific friend/person to him (for the most part, and also if I were really I probably wouldn't write this in the blog.. but I don't care right now, this is part of how I sort things).
And now he's no longer going to be around in my life. For reasons which I always knew.
So there's been the constant back and forth of trying to figure out what I feel.
Do I always only want what I can't have? Do I specifically seek out people who are unavailable in order for it to fail before it's even begun? maybe I want the false romance of that unavailability...
Also this dude may or may not have said that I'm not interested in accepting love, which I found a bit rich at that moment.



It's funny how uncomfortable I was with the idea of an actual date, though, I'll tell ya that for free. Too much pressure. It ended up being a lovely evening-- dinner, movie, pub, and then we even started a dance party at the bar later. And drank on a deck with another of our very favourite people until 4:30 in the morning.
My life is very fun and interesting, even if it is a big messy most days.

So... now I'm in pact mode in earnest and the only thing that is saving me right now is that CRUSHES ARE STILL ALLOWED. even though that's a bit of buffering it's not real-time buffering, it's just make-believe.

oh god, crushes are my ultimate favourite thing.
(along with christmas)


I also went as dollface's date to her family's Thanksgiving. 3rd time in the past 4 years I've been and it's always very fun.


classy ladies...



I'm a good date, I am friendly and make awkward jokes with your grandmother about her stealing out of my purse "I know how much money I have in there, so watch yourself"
(hopefully I wasn't actually offensive!) 


Yeah yeah we (Dollface, mostly) were in charge of the centre-pieces. Awww so nice.


I also am good at hitting on you. Invite me as your date to everywhere, everyone!

Okay gotta go now!

But I will tell you that my improv teacher last night told me that I'm naturally very charming.
haaaa, bear in mind that I've been nothing but rude to that guy since meeting him because I find him  intimidating. 
Not always the complete little gremlin I imagine myself to be, I guess. 
(just most times!) 

hbd df

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOLLFACE!!



that's all I got for now.



no wait, also my favourite work supervisor send me a link to this article: http://thehairpin.com/2010/10/all-dudes-learned-how-to-dress-and-it-sucks/! so funny!

Aaaaaand, for a moment I'll pretend I'm at all politically-minded. I know that pretty much everyone has seen this by now but it really is preeeetty amazing, I'll tell ya that for free.

From this article in Torontoist. Not united at all.

Okworktime then partytime gotta do it up for Dollface but hopefully it'll be a bit calmer than last night (at least for me)!

ODE TO DOLLFACE

My blog's favourite character (besides myself), DOLLFACE, has her birthday today!

Happy Birthday Dollface!!!

You can leave her some birthday messages about how beautiful she is and how much you love her eyebrows in the comment section, if you want.

And I feel like this is as good of an opportunity to post these gorgeous photos of her. Again.










I'm pretty fond of this girl, and not just because she's good-looking, also because she's pretty ridiculously rad.