how things are now

aw, I'm going to make someone a very good mum someday...

OOOOHHHHHH HIIIIIIIII

I'm interspersing cottage photos mostly I guess here. Just from my instagram feed.

view from our cottage bedroom window, it was gray and lovely out

My phone broke and I lost a whole lot of photos from the last few months. Turned out the last time I backed up my phone was in December. Yike.  Luckily other people took photos this past weekend and I will post them soon, I hope.
It was a super great and successful weekend, and a good dozen of us were able to make it up to the cottage over the 4 days, which is pretty amazing, really.

The shitty thing about being poor is that I have a super old computer which is not compatible with my iphone. cooooooool.  Please buy me things?
I have a job interview next week. that's good.

I still am super-pleased that the Apple store replaced my phone, don't get me wrong. I feel grateful.

henna drawing on my foot done by cheespie

Things are maybe, finally thinking about calming down around here. I know I keep saying that, but maybe this time I'm right. Like, for instance, we haven't had people over until 3 in the morning every night this week. And I only had two drinks each night for the past few nights. That is totally acceptable.  And my roommates are mellowing out a bit too, I think. Except Firehorse who does not seem to ever need any alone time, ever.
Last night I was sitting on the papasan chair and drinking a bud light lime (which then my throat and neck kind of felt thick and I got bloated, and I'm very smart for still having gluten sometimes, but MAN, sometimes you just want a beer, you know?? yes, I realize that a BLL doesn't count as a beer but cut me some slack here for one minute) and anyway, Firehorse was leaving and he said "are you really, really just going to stay in right now??"
Haa, obviously! Staying home is amazing!

Except I did go out. And I went to visit a babe who is on the roster (hahahaaaa roster, also I don't really have that much of a roster, also this babe has no patience for blogs so I can write what I like, mostly).
I went over to said babe's house and he was just watching tv and I didn't feel like just watching tv and not doing anything at all but flipping through channels. Especially if you're not going to let me watch reruns of Home Improvement.
I have no patience for this sort of thing!

(one time I was at a babe's house and he wanted to watch the rotisserie chicken channel. I'd rather die, thanks.)

dockdockdock, hammock

Do not invite me over to watch tv with you. I have things to do! All I want is a little bit of romance or excitement in my life. Preferably both.
You want to watch tv?
Then make it good. And indicate that that's your plan for the eve.
a) pick one tv show/movie -- a good one that I am also interested in, for instance
b) get me some snacks (do not get snacks for yourself and not give me any)
c) cuddle me up
d) make good jokes

cuddled up around the candles in the screened-in den

I'm working all weekend! Which is a bit thank god because I need some money like whoaaa.
And also I'm drinking less and partying less so maybe working all weekend will help. Dollface is going up to the cottage without me. BRUTAL.
hahaaaa white whine.

Life's great. It sucks that my blog is sucking because of it. September is soon, then winter, then probably I will have much more time for sitting down and writing it all out...

I ate Saturday

Does my face look a bit tan? Kind of, hey?
It's mostly just red all the time because that's how it is. Natural! But I've been out in the sun way more now that I take the dog out in the daytime. It's nice. I have been remembering my 45 spf sunscreen but maybe I will need to bump it up even more. Or get a hat. Yeeeaaahhhat.


Big game tonight for the Canucks.... If we win this one then we're in the final two.
See what I did there? I made like I was a Canuck. Which is weird since I've never even played hockey.
I downloaded the Canuck app for my phone.
So dumb!
I'm excited that I don't have to work tonight so that I can get prime real estate at the bar with Norman and Carla Ghee and we can get super intense and oooo and ahhh all we want.
Yeah huh.
I have to find some Canucks colours to wear!

I went to see Bridesmaids last night with a bunch of nice ladies.

Honestly,  it's fine to watch the trailers for this movie because so much of the stuff in the trailers isn't in the movie!
I hate knowing anything about films before I watch them because I don't like expectations, but also I like watching trailers. Weird conflict of desires I have. It's best if I can see a trailer far enough in advance that I forget everything that happens in it!

I really loved this movie!
It's a specific type of humour I guess, and I can see why people wouldn't love it like I did... but... I generally think that Kristen Wiig is a bit of a genius so I was obviously on her team from the get-go.

Also, I think they really nailed the relationships between the women. Sometimes you're friends by convenience and sometimes you're still friends even when maybe it doesn't make sense anymore.
And sometimes it's worth it to keep fighting for a friend who actually fully gets you. 
In it Kristen Wiig's character feels a bit left behind when her bff's life gets perfect and her life is falling apart.
I definitely know about that a bit. Both Violet and Dollface are working on Bay street these days and I just drink every night. Not that my life isn't the funnest, but I don't own any suits, and will almost certainly never belong to any country clubs... it's easy to let yourself feel awkward about not being the successful one, even in a friendship.
I have a pretty good handle on not getting worried about those kinds of things. And I'm a pretty big deservist who feels entitled to all the good things in life without ever wanting to work for them, so at least I never feel like I'm less-than Violet and all her law friends, and Dollface and all her financial peeps.
Mostly.

Although, I do find it mystifying that people can figure out how to have relationships with others, how to move in, how to get married, how to have babies.....
We all know it's the babies I'm after, but all that before stuff? How does anyone even do that!?
Do not comprehend! Cannot fathom!



Anyway, I recommend this movie. And I will say that I think that Melissa McCarthy who played "Megan" really stole quite a few scenes and was just really genius in a way that I never would have expected knowing her only from Gilmore Girls..

I'm pleased as well that there are virtually no male characters. Not that I think we necessarily need to go swinging the entire opposite way but I am fucking tired of seeing all men all the time only interacting with men and even every supporting character is a man. Boring!
Women! All women all the time!

Apparently this is the first feature that Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo wrote? I want to know how much mentoring they got on this? It's pretty well structured. And funny!
I'm betting lots of improving (which I am all for) and letting people run with things.
Goddamn this is the type of movie I want to work on.



When I got home last night I worked a bit on a project I've had in the beginning stages forever.
The character I'd been working on for myself wasn't funny at all, I realized. I'm not sure how that happened.
I think I was think if it were a romantic comedy the protagonist had to be appealing and sweet, and wouldn't be allowed to be super funny.
changed that now. Writing her way more funny and obnoxious now (hopefully).

It's becoming clearer that I could benefit from sort of screen-writing workshop. I always assume I can do anything if I would only get around to it.
I need help on structure, though. And I need help keeping things going.



My ears aren't particularly small. I was full-term. Is that why? When I was a baby the light shone through them. Maybe it still does a little bit.
You'd  think I'd wash or brush my hair before taking several pictures of myself but you would be wrong wrong wrong.




All floral-prints all the time this summer, yeah?


I bet I'll be blogging a lot more this week as I fully procrastinate having to back up my entire life....
I'm having a bad stress day about having to leave this home. It'll be fine. Everything will all be fine. I get along with everyone and am very easy-going. (or will be... maybe sometime...)


cool I have a pimple that looks like a bindi. Beat that.

I swear I know the best people

MIXTAPE CLUB DINNER PARTY EPISODE 3!

I love mixtape club. I feel like now we've had our third edition (and even on time!) it's like we are a real live club. An actual group with a common goal and purpose. Good food and good tunes. MMHMM.



I am also officially a grown-up now because I attend and host dinner parties. That's how you know.

And sometimes at the dinner parties I look nuts.


I worked the Monster Truck Jam today and my stand was right by the doors that the kept propped open for the first few hours of the events while people were coming in. It also happened to be the coldest day in awhile. Classically sucky.
I was so, so, so cold. I thought I was such a genius for packing 3 sweater and for cutting off the finger tips of my gloves so that I could still handle money, but NOPE, awful cold.
By then end of it I was just kind of furious because I had been cold so long. Actually, no, by the end of it it was kind of funny. Especially funny because then I walked home and wasn't really cold at all.



Anyhow, all I wanted after that shift was to be warm and properly fed so I was a bit too excited to get picked up in a car by Mrs. and taken to a very warm and cozy apartment and fed soul food. Obviously!

Ohhhh lordy so good.
If you don't put bourbon in your mashed sweet potatoes, maybe you should?

I love the cute napkins, too and the cut up butter in the sundae dish. Awww.



Things weren't actually as serious as she looks about them. She was probably just waiting for cake.

"Cake??"

I had to take the photos with Hipstamatic because I did last mixtape club dinner party and now it's a tradition.


I laughed about the way that Mrs.'s sweater was bunching. I am too easily amused.



Dinner was super lovely, such a feast and so much effort gone to by our lovely hostess. Went out of her way to make sure there were gluten-free, vegetarian, and dairy-free options for our (mostly my) sensitivities.
Ever had bourbon with sicilian lemon soda? You should.
Also, the flourless cake was heavenly. Mrs. and I stayed an extra while just to split another piece. So fluffy, all almonds and orange and a lot of eggs, apparently. I suppose I need to get the recipe...

Dinner parties are also great because you're not hurrying to get anywhere. You have plenty of time to chat and have seconds and loosen your belt and stay awhile. Such a treat.
And it was a happy coincidence that our Soul-themed night should fall on such a cold cold night where we all were in need of warm food and talk.
I have to say, though, I missed Sweet Beastly very much and was very sad that he couldn't make it.



I know that I've said this before, but I don't think it's something that I should ever take for granted; I have really, really good friends these days.
I mean, I've had some solid friends now for awhile but these days, the good gets better and new people come into my life and I'm better at relating and we're all growing up so beautifully... I really really love at least a dozen people. Probably even 2 dozen people.
Imagine that! That's amazing. That there are so many people that I flat-out adore! If even half of them love me back... 
How the fuck did I get so lucky?



It's funny that it's hard for me to take a break from going out because I have too many fun things to do and too many people to spend time with. What a luxurious problem to have.

I'm worried that it sounds like I'm bragging. What I mean is, I feel great gratitude for each speck of friendship.
I'm not the easiest to be friends with. I'm rude and selfish and over-honest, but I'm working to be better to people and I'm so pleased that people seem to like me!

On Friday I was crying my face off (life sucks, hormones, weather, MONEY, career, you get the drift) but even while I was so upset about my future and my job and everything I still was thinking about how at least I have some of the best people ever in my life.
I mean, there is no way that my life sucks because I have the best friends. Friends are the bosses of life being great.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww



Also, how funny was 30 Rock this week? I had a dream the other night that I was on Saturday Night Live and Tina Fey came over and linked arms with me and we bumped hips and I was the happiest girl. That'd be the day.

belly laughs and gasping for air laughs

holeee today I was walking with Niki down dundas and I've been really into laughing lately like really laughing whole-heartedly like I mean it, ya know?

Anyway, so she says something that doesn't really make any sense and then she points out how it doesn't make sense but for whatever reason this just murders me like I cannot stop laughing. And then she has such a silly silly laugh that just makes me keep on laughing then my laugh is just too dumb to be allowed and that makes me laugh and laugh and laugh for 1 billion years.
Or at least long enough that Niki was like "stop it, stop doing that. stop laughing. you are making me very nervous right now".

I was laughing about it later, too.
Oh man, laughing.
Deep belly laughing is just about the best thing you can do, I think.
I like having a good lie-down laugh also.


It surprises me, sometimes, thinking back on the almost-relationships I've had where I didn't find someone amusing and yet still pretended for however long (two weeks) that there was viable potential there for it to be something.
That's the worst -- pretending that their jokes/sense of humour/horrible voices don't annoy you.

Also worth noting maybe, is that no one I've dated for any length of time (three months) thinks I'm particularly funny. Hmm.

Bizarre, hey?

Oh, but I thought they were funny. Yeah, mostly pretty funny. Or at least really good at playing guitar and looking dreamy.


Yeah this is another one of the videos that I saw last week and I love it! I love this Kathleen Philips! Her Charlotte the Harlot character at Let's Get Hot is one of my favourites always. Such good physicality. I spent too long today watching all of her youtube channel.


ALSO:

So good.
Also from this past WWS showcase. Also this Katie Crown is super super funny and her stand-up set on Sunday had me and my buds crying pretty much.

I'm pretty good at befriending people (who I like) but I wish I were even better at it.
I have my eye on so many people I would love to get all up in. In a mostly platonic way.
I could maybe be swayed.

Oh lord, I've done it again. Here comes 4 a.m.

Who is doing NXNE? Who wants to be my partytown partner for it?

CPT. HEH IS GETTING OLDER (but we're okay with that)

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW CUTESUN. AW THE BABY.





I know that it's a bit late (as it was yesterday) but I would like to wish my boy-bff a happy birthday.
That's right, Cpt. Heh finally turned 30!! Congrats on making it this far!



Cpt. Heh and I have been friends ever since he had a big crush on me while we were both at Humber but we also met through other friends and one time he picked me up from school and drove me downtown and we hung out a bit and I said "anyways" and he said "Anyways is grammatically incorrect" and I was like "whoaaa" and we went by the Chart Magazine offices because he was writing for them at the time, I think he was trying to impress me and it kind of worked but also not really.
I am one of those (assholes) who only likes people who don't like them.




I love Cpt. Heh more than I ever would have expected. And he is one of the most solid people in my life and has been for the past few years. Oh, obviously I get super-annoyed with him sometimes and want to punch him very hard in the neck, but mostly he is only good news.



I love how silly he is and how he's such a kid sometimes but also how he gives good advice and can be very rational, and is there when ya need him. He knows a lot of people and is friendly with lots but he doesn't like them like he likes me. Well, maybe a few. Okay, a lot.




Also, I frequently kind of forget that he's a bit of dude. Pretty funny.

Ha, he came over the other night and "helped" me choose my outfit for the evening and it was pretty ridiculous. He was basically trying to convince me to wear as little clothing as possible.
Best quotes for about my clothing choices:

"this outfit is good, I just think about you being more naked"

"if there's a girl there with bare legs, she wins"

"this outfit just looks like you're someone's girlfriend hanging at home, and you are no one's girlfriend right now."




hahaaa, sorry those made him sound like a jerk, whereas he is mostly not.



Okay, maybe I had more to say but I just wasted way too much time going through my flickr to find these gems and bring them to you.



You're welcome, Cpt. Heh, for being your #1 best photographer. You owe me (owe me bffship forever). Aww I like this guy.



Hahaah dreamy.

had two dolls one named Polly and one named Pollyanna they were twins but one was smaller

My kitchen has never been this clean. I have multiple projects I'm avoiding by cleaning. Amazing. 
I like singing along to french songs more than english ones. except I don't know the words properly. but when I do it's extra rewarding. Plus I think my voice is more tolerable in french. maybe I will make a video about it for you sometime.





Tomorrow (Thursday) I will be telling a story at the Cloak and Dagger. Not just any story but a story to the whole room. this is the event page. Come to it!!! 
I didn't invite that many people on FB because, well, I don't know. But you should come and hear me tell a story that's probably from my life and probably true. 
To be entirely honest I have not decided which story I will tell. But it will probably be super-interesting and possibly embarrassing. 
You will also get to see Cpt. Heh tell a story and also some music! Good music! 
I'm bad at plugging things. 





I thought I felt like going to CMW this week but  I guess I don't really feel like going after all. Which is better on the pocketbook and better on the trying-to-party-less front. But if I were going to go to CMW, these are the people I would see: 


WEDNESDAY

10:  Jason Collett (it doesn't actually say what time exactly but around then) -- Lee's Palace

11: Will Currie and the Country French - Gladstone Ballroom 

Zeus (again don't have an exact time I would bet it'd be closer to midnight or 1 actually) -- Lee's Palace 

12: Gentlemen Husbands (I have never heard of this band but I love that name also apparently they like to party? I'm in.) - Gladstone Ballroom 

1: Fucked Up - El Mocambo 

THURSDAY:

8:30: Magneta Lane - Horseshoe

10: Forest City Lovers - Drake Underground 

The Rhythm Method - Rancho Relaxo 

10:15 Woodhands - Opera House 

11: Timbre Timbre - The Great Hall 

11:30 K-OS - Opera House 

12: Will Currie - Mitzi's Sister

The Sheepdogs (Saskatoon) - Central (could visit Raymi) 

Wordburglar - Rancho Relaxo 

Cadence Weapon - The Garrison 

12:10 Besnard Lakes - Horseshoe

1: The Ghost is Dancing - Silver Dollar 

Flash Lightnin' - Tattoo Rock Parlour 

1:20 Great Bloomers - Horseshoe 

FRIDAY

8ish: CATL (I still think this name is not-great but they're pretty fun) - Comfort Zone

8: Isla Craig and the Continental Drift - Comfort Zone

9: Huron (I just like this name and if you were at Comfort Zone you might as well stay) - Comfort Zone 

10: The D'Ubervilles - The Garrison 

11: Flash Lightnin' - The Supermarket 

12: The Schomberg Fair - Sneaky Dee's

12:10 Hot Hot Heat (leave me alone they are so fun kind of even though they are annoying, I know) - Horseshoe

1:

2: Hmmm there's nothing I'm that into for later eve that I already know about

SATURDAY

9:45: Rural Alberta Advantage - Royal York Indie Awards thing (HOW DO YOU GET ME INTO THIS?oh I see, by buying a $20 ticket. hmm. )

Great Lake Swimmers -  Royal York Indie Awards thing (buy me a ticket?)

10:10 The Beauties - Horeshoe 

11: Grand Analog - Drake Underground 

Sweet Thing - Lee's Palace 

Meligrove Band - The Garrison 

11:30 The Long Haul (I think JVT's in this band but he's in every band) - Mitzi's Sister 

11:45 Constantines -  Royal York Indie Awards thing (come one, who's going to buy me a ticket?)

12: Maylee and Pegwee Power - Bread and Circus 

12:10 Two Hours Traffic - Horeshoe

1: Gentlemen Husbands (still just like that name) - Hideout (is serving until 4 or something!) 

2: Give Us the Daggers (this is a fun band) - Silver Dollar (also serving so late!) 

3: The Darcys - Sneaky Dee's 

I may be in for a show here or there, though. And I may be down for drinking until 4. But that's nothing new. 





Didn't really mean to go out last night but Dollface was out and about and so I went and met up with her at Union and then we went to Sweaty Betty's for beers (Sopporooooooo). Sweaty Betty's had a couple of babes and a lot of awkwardness! Actually, I think that's the story of my life. 
Doll is way better at being nice to people than (then?) I am and humoring people and she can engage pretty much anyone in conversation. I constantly do not realize she wants out of a situation because she seems so relaxed. 
I, on the other hand, am the most consistently rude and and stand-off-ish person I know of. 
I need to hone the skill of being friendly and nice and talking to people I don't have any interest in. I've met people who thought I was the snottiest rudest person and then it turned out that we became best friends. 
Part of it (in my minimal defense) is that I'm quite shy and I also assume that no one really likes me. 
But the (bigger) part of it is that I don't like a lot of people and I have a fear of getting trapped in pointless conversation with people who annoy me. 





I'm going to have to learn to suck it up in order to network properly and become a BIG BIG STAR. Or maybe I'll just be recognized for my excellent talent and people will be so reverent of me that my bad manners won't matter at all! 


Ha, I've noticed that I've started yawning when I'm feeling too awkward. Just the biggest yawns. I think I forget to breathe properly when I'm feeling too stressed by a situation or want to appear aloof. 





My friend one time did a movie with Susan Sarandon and Susan took my friend out to lunch but when my friend gets nervous she just gets super tired and shuts down a bit. So through lunch she just yawned a lot and acting uninterested and standoffish, when really she was quite admiring of Susan Sarandon.





Sorry if I wasn't supposed to blog that story! Tell me if you want me to take it down. Also, when you get to go on Jimmy Kimmel you should definitely tell that story. 

Speaking of Jimmy Kimmel, just in case you haven't seen this: 

I had a dream that I was going on Jimmy Kimmel but I couldn't remember which project I was promoting but then I realized that he wasn't even expecting me as a guest, my mum just wrangled it so that I could sneak on at the last minute.

This is especially funny if you know my mum as she has approximately zero interest in pop culture let alone being a stage mum.

Don't worry, the story I tell tomorrow night will be much more fascinating than that one.

Aaaanyway, holy tangent. At Sweaty Betty's I saw my one Ossington crush (minimal crush, this one). I see him everywhere I go and he's always with a different lady. Pretty awesome! 

Although, to be fair, you could say the same thing about me. I am frequently out with different dudes and different ladies and that's just because I'm the friendliest person. 

A guy bought me and Doll some tequila and we danced around with him and his friends. 

We ate three bags of chips and a pickle. Maybe it'd be best if bars didn't sell chips. Also Dollface had mini-eggs in her bag and the mini-eggs had pop rocks in their shells! What! I ate so many of them. 

As we were leaving a little acquaintance of mine was dancing on the bar. It was just that time of night, I guess. 

Then we went to Lakeview Lunch (because the chips and pickles and mini-eggs weren't enough) and I saw that crush again and he smiled at me but I didn't smile back because I'm too awkward I just yaaawned instead.  

Plus I think that crush is wearing off, I have a bigger one on the mind. mmmmmmmmmmm.

Nothing like a good crush. No, really though. 

A crush, in the good beginning stages, is hard to beat. 

Though I'm wary (in my old age) of things going downhill fast and of being disillusioned and realizing that I don't even really like said babe. (or, worse, that he doesn't like me.) 

I like smug cats.