pissing in the wind, painting white on white, and I'll beat a dead horse back to life

Getting older is cool I guess because maybe you figure out how to react better to situations and know what you're getting yourself into and are a bit more prepared for shit. So I hear?
Nah, I do feel like I'm getting a bit more realistic and smarter about things.



I just read a missed connection from Hoops in North York and Carla Ghee and I have been talking lots about how many missed connections we will get all summer long.
I feel like everyone's kind of off the missed connections train? Like for a bit there I heard lots about them but these days it seems fewer?



Remember when I had my very own missed connection?

ha, I just searched my blog for "missed connection" and found this gem from 2k8 talking about a babe I saw:

I would put a missed connection add up EXCEPT
a) I've seen Ghost World
b) I shouldn't even be allowed to date
and
c) I've decided not to pursue babes anymore. Which, of course, means that I'm never going to get any because boys are giant sucks and never push anything and I am the one who pushes everything and people that do pursue me are never the ones that I want (who do I want though, really?).
But seriously though, babes need to put in effort.


good to know that things have changed so much in the past few years. :\
ha!


Hmmm a quick search of my blog reveals that I never said that much about that missed connection other than it was a real one.


I was wearing this top that day, though. if that helps.


Now it's been long enough that I can talk about it! Coooool! I like this part. Even though it's not a great story and I mostly look bad. But still. Also cool because
a) I don't know him or see him in any way anymore
b) who cares

anyway, I went on a date with that missed connection. Let's call him Connie (short for connection, obvs).
I actually hung out with him a few times over a couple of weeks there.
He was kind of lovely, though just out of a huge long-term thing (ha, I should rent myself out as a rebound), and he was quite grumbly for such a young guy. Sort of a curmudgeon and a bit of a snot about things.
Really particular about his coffee and his scotch and his food and everything in his life. A bit of a stick-in-the-mud. Funny for someone with sleeves of tattoos and baby-face.

Also, he played guitar and sang and was working with an experimental band because he said that just writing a regular song on guitar was "too easy"...
to which I replied "probably the song is not good enough, then" (filled with tact, I am)

I think he was into the idea of being a good boyfriend-type, which is such a bizarre thing in my life. But we did have some good brunches and dates and ate gelato in the park and stuff.
and once he sent me a text that said "you're quite cute you know"
aww.

but I didn't really care. I wanted to because it was such a good story, but we didn't actually care about each other.

And so when the opportunity arose to skip town with someone I was invariably hung up on, I just went and didn't think twice.

so that was then end of that.

I'm meant to be doing some writing right now. I opened up all the files and everything. And I've got a new idea that I need to decide even what it's going to be. I think a play or a short. I've never really written a play, but I have a big desire to do one soon and I'd like to write it, too.
Might as well, since I'm not tooo busy.
You can be in it too, if you'd like.

whoa it's friday already

It was real!
Pretty awesome, you have to admit.
I responded, he responded. That may or may not be all of I have to say on here since I'm still trying pretty hard to not






Being single is very weird. I would know, I do it a lot. Deciding where you owe something to someone, deciding not to be hung up on someone, deciding where to draw lines, when not expect anything, when to trust myself, etc etc.
It's a lot of negotiations.



BMO Field last night. Made $14. Wow awesome. Working all weekend. Then Canada day then about two weeks with absolutely no shifts. Guess who's going to die on the streets?

Need another job. Ready to book another acting gig. READY NOW.



Babe kegger tonight, I think. At least that's the plan...



Not much I like more than babes and beer and party-all-the-time.

where'd you get those eyes?

"who's that coming down the street, all dressed up like a Christmas tree?"
(from a Josephine Baker song - I can't find the lyrics online anywhere. But pretty absurd.)




(I like the way that the run in my hose is almost like a tear drop running down my leg)









Photos from Libretto a few weeks ago. I'm bad at organizing my internets these days.






Bestfriendship with Prune FTW. For sure.





hey nice pearl necklace

aw man, and I complain about babes having terrible senses of humour.




please note how many glasses are in this photo considering there were only four of us ladies(?) at dinner....









Okaaaay gotta jet gotta find more based to miss connections with!!

FINALLY ONE OF MY VERY OWN!
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY TO COME FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

"pretty redhead - Merideth? Who came to my bike shop with a flat tire - m4w (Kensington)


Aw, shit. It just occurred to me that anyone who reads this blog could have posted that message. Dammit.

Still awesome.

missed connections!

Fine. I read the craigslist missed connections. Fine, I do it. Now you can all go ahead and post fake ones for me and I will totally fall for it and you can laugh at me.

Okay, but, maybe this one is about Dollface?

Tall and elegant girl at The Wrong Bar - Grand Analog Album Release - m4w

You were dancing at the front right side of the stage all night with your girlfriends. You were so beautiful, tall and elegant. Your eyes were breathtaking. As you were leaving and saying bye to your friends I said bye and waved at you ... we made eye contact and you smiled at me.

I would love to get to know you.

Maaaybe?? Probably not. But that was where we were standing. I don't know if I'd call her elegant (seeing as we apparently fell over together at one point and I have no recollection of that happening) and she's not that tall, really.
But men do have a tendency to fall in love with her on sight.
I know I did.

yes the snow does make me want to crawl back into bed forever

I can only assume that this is probably aimed at me and is probably for not going to Dakota on Sunday for the first time in forever.

Well soooooorry "J"



Yeah. Jay's home-opener. And guess what? None of the tills in the whole dome had the right prices in them. Welcome to my nightmare. Yeah, that was sort of the tip of the iceberg.
I feel lucky that we got out before 1 a.m., to tell you the truth.



I'm very much considering finding other employment (yeah right, thanks a lot recession).. I'm getting pretty tired of this ridiculousness.



I love flat kittens almost more than I love curled up kittens. Kittens sleeping in general is good news. At least then they aren't wrecking the world.


I was reminded to take more photos of them for perspective on how tiny they are.




Oh yeah also on that pseudo-date I went on a few weeks ago I was laughing about how much I love this Christmas buffalo-plaid shirt (complete with beautiful snowflake pattern <3 <3) that I got at Honest Ed's for $1.99 and he said "yeah... maybe you should never wear that. Ever."
Not even addressing how actually perfect this shirt is -- don't tell me what to do! Especially when you don't even know me at all.



(look, Mum, she thinks she's Cactus!)

It was totally snowing on my way home from work tonight. Brutal! What kind of spring is this? This better be the last of it (I'm jinxing it, aren't I?)...


so I found out where the kittens have been hiding



Why am I still up right now this is just silly

SKILLZ

I keep checking the craigslist missed connections, but so far no ugly-boots...

oh I shouldn't talk about it on here now one of you will just post it and I'll get my hopes up and then they'll be DASHED

Today I'm working the hockey "skills competition". I hope to see some mad, mad skillz
pony-riding skills, step dancing skills, computer hacking skills, typing skills, wine tasting skills, pizza tossing skills, guitar playing skills, baby-making skills,

Whoa that word has lost meaning to me know and looks spelled wrong.

you - tall, dreamy and ugly-booted, me - coughing up a lung

Whoa. The missed connections section on Craigslist is very odd.

Seriously.

So, I saw a total babe on the Queen streetcar today. He was seriously such a babe. Most of the time I am convinced that I do not have a 'type' (I mean, if you lined up all the people I've been involved with, they would be a somewhat motley crew), but then I see guys like this and I'm like "oh, yeah, totally". Just generally indie-rock cute I guess. I liked his bright eyes and red beard a lot. Though he did have horrendous boots on. Just awful but they looked really really warm and really waterproof and since I've spent the last few weeks with wet, cold feet, I'd forgive him. He was totally eyeing me up as well, he got off at Soho but watched me as the streetcar took me away....
SIGH
I got off at Spadina and looked back for him but didn't see him...
SIGH

I would put a missed connection add up EXCEPT
a) I've seen Ghost World
b) I shouldn't even be allowed to date
and
c) I've decided not to pursue babes anymore. Which, of course, means that I'm never going to get any because boys are giant sucks and never push anything and I am the one who pushes everything and people that do pursue me are never the ones that I want (who do I want though, really?).
But seriously though, babes need to put in effort.

I'm insane. Interacting last night with a boy who used to have a crush on me for sure but then I've been sort of standoffish lately so now he was returning the favour, I felt so slighted that I had to try and win back his affections and prove that I was worthy of having a crush on.
Seriously?
Not cool.
Everyone likes having people interested in them. But for all of my talk of care and care-taking, I sure am not careful of people like I need to be.

I'm mean.

Last night I apologized to a babe who I've been rather mean to in the past few months (though he did somewhat deserve it on account of not being careful AT ALL of me) and he said something like "This is going to sound bad but, I just thought it was your personality"
Thank you, dreamboat.
He went on to try and clarify that, but I do know what he means.
I am mean.

But he, with that sentence, discounted any right I had to be angry or any responsibility he had in the situation.

I'm regretting apologizing.

I've decided to try and become more gracious and polite. Social niceties do not come easily or naturally to me. I have a hard time pretending anything or faking it in any way.
I will try harder. Or at least consider it.

You know what's better than cheese-toast? Cheese-toast with spinach. For realz. I'm still obsessed with spinach. I probably eat more of it than anything else.

I went to Value Village this morning after my audition and I bought rubber boots!!! Finally. Lord how I've needed them in this awful slush festival of a winter. It's funny how rubber boots give such a specific foot feeling. Kind of reassuring.
I also bought five books. I don't know why. Oh yeah, because the library and I are still in a fight re: fines I owe them.

I saw a friend at the audition this morning I auditioned with a few months ago and that time he got the part and I did not. I could totally see him getting this one too. I wish I were a cute boy.
I'm tired of being the catcher anyhow, I want to pitch sometime.

I predict the return of the french braid (and have been wearing them allll the time). It has to return because remember the 80s and early 90s when we spent so much time admiring them and coveting them and learning how to do the different styles? Well a lot of people still have that storehouse of knowledge on them and it needs to be used.
Also, they're good for everyone from office workers to rappers to police officers to country folk.
So braid one in!