still waiting on my witch powers

Remember how yesterday it was so warm and fresh and spring all over?
And today is steadily getting colder and is damp and wintery? Gross.

Remember how talking about the weather is a super interesting topic and it's a really good thing I have a blog?

It should be illegal how much my mood is effected by the weather.
Luckily in a minute here my laundry will be done and I'm going to go hang out with the dog down at the lake and then pick up some groceries and then later Nic is coming over to talk about our lives and plans and stuff, and then after that I am hopefully going HOT-TUBBING (if this falls through I will be murderously upset, jfyi guys good now we're clear).


#bedside (sort of)

I thought I'd be real good at the march photo a day challenge but it turns out I'm just not good at getting around to things! So I'll be a part-time photo-a-day-er.


#myneighbourhood

this is obviously something I think is good. It's also obviously so good.


aaaaaaand this:





#somethingIwore
Out on my little balcony yesterday afternoon. I'm also drinking a really delicious smoothie here (just frozen peaches and strawberries with soy milk. thick like ice cream almost). Nice life, guy!

Yulie's back in town! She's not living with us anymore, she's moved in with her BF a few streets over. But I'm still very glad. I just love her. Probably best she's not living with me so I can't be mean to her. She's so earnest and warm. Good, good news.



I got called out by Nic the other day for being a bad worker. This is my main classic move. Not being good at working. I don't like to try for fear of failing. Guess where that's gotten me!
But also, I'm having troubles, comedy-wise, because I'm not sure I understand it all yet. Ha, obviously! What I mean, though, is that I don't know why I appreciate the things I do. I don't know how to turn a funny moment I enjoyed into a polished joke/bit/scene/etc.
I need a lot more work, but also probably a lot more guidance and I'm going to have to learn what I need and how to ask for it. Hmmmmmmm.

Just thinking about things, just thinking about it.

eternal january

I cannot cannot get moving today. I just slept for 10 hours and I still feel exhausted. Hmmmm.
Maybe the amount of MSG I ingested yesterday? is that a thing?







It feels like it's been January forever. Anyone else?







The cats are warming up to me at least. Nice nice nice.
Well Odette at least. Both of them were sleeping in my room yesterday. Did I consider locking them in until they grew to love me? Well, obviously.







Shot a little movie yesterday and it was a pretty fun day. I like making things. We did some pretty nice work, I'd say.

Ughhh sooo so tired. obscenely.




pretty pretty pretty

here come the siameses!

my new cats are here!


this one is called Odette and she is the one I like. She has a nice sort of a sad face that is good. She's still mildly scared of me but I bet will be best buds soon enough.





this one is called Béa. She is not cuddly. Luckily she is very pretty.

They follow my roommate around (their papa) like he is their leader. It's pretty cute. Also he calls them "little mama" which is very funny to me.

Anyway, that's the big news in my life.

Also, I'm in a waaaayy better mood these days. I think partially to do with being more productive. I'm really happy with what I'm making and have a billion high hopes of what my future is going to be about.
Nice nice.

also I've been spending a lot of time at my favourite bars with my favourite people and getting locked in until 5 in the morning at my one favourite place with lots of babes and just talking and making jokes and drinking forever.
Aaaand Hoops. Who could forget Hoops?
I was in kind of a temper the other day and what made me feel so much better was watching the Canucks game (we actually just watched the game pretty much full-attention) with my bud at Hoops.  Awww.
100 times awww.

almost done being 27

I thought that 27 would be a great year. I thought it would be the year I fell in love or some bullshit like that. I thought I'd get acting jobs again, I thought I'd really get to accomplishing something.
Less than a month left of being 27. 28 is officially almost 30. I'm excited for getting older, I feel like there's really wonderful things coming up for me.

I was just trying to figure out if I feel disappointed at all about this year.
I really, really don't.



This year has not been the kind of spectacular I was wishing for but it has been remarkable in several other ways. Really remarkable.

And this year in particular I think I've grown and am really getting better at being me. Sounds ridiculous, maybe, but true.



Let's split this up into categories to go through, yeah?









HOME LIFE
As you know, in June I moved out of the attic bachelor apartment I lived in for over seven years into the new Ossington Dreamhome.
This has been the biggest change in my life in a long, long time.
And it has been hard and wonderful. And super amounts of fun, and ridiculously trying.
I haven't addressed on here how we recently changed roommates, but we did. Our new roommate doesn't have a nickname on here yet. I'll think on it. Anyway, she's very sweet and works 9-5 which means I never see her. She wants to go babe hunting, though, so we have to figure that out soon.

Onesie moved out. It got to be a rather shitty situation and I tried my very, very best to be a good friend to her but there are limits. And as much as you have to be there for your friends, it's also important to realize when maybe you shouldn't be friends anymore. I can't always help everyone all the time.

Yulie is moving out soon, too. Which I am going to be pretty upset about. She's going back to Germany for awhile. I'm glad she'll be back at some point, but it won't be the same not living together. She is such a wonderful, good-hearted love. Who drives me bananas sometimes. Because that's what roommates are for.

I moved out partially because I needed change but also to teach myself better conflict resolution and inter-personal skills. A babe laughed very hard at me recently for putting it like that, but I do really mean it. And I think it's working. I still hate conflict, but I've had some and am stronger for it. I'm learning how to get along with people on a daily basis, and I'm still closing my door a lot and hanging out on my own.

Also, remember how fun the beginning of summer was in this place? Worth it for that alone. Plus I do love the house and my room and getting to decorate and everything. And I like having people around to cook and bake for.
I'm getting really good at cooking, I'd say. Not like a kitchen genius, but I consistently make beautiful meals and eat properly and am learning new skills and meal ideas. And I really rather love cooking. I find it calming and purposeful.





IMPROV
Improv, guys, improv! What the hell?!
Do you ever think about how maybe things happen for a reason? No? me neither.
Anyway, I'm not sure how I got so lucky as to be doing the conservatory right now with some of the most amazing people.
It was actually pretty random that I even decided to audition for the conservatory at Second City because I'd been scared of comedy for the past while. Like, I loved it, but from a distance. I did improv at Bad Dog a few years ago and then just didn't know how to push through further. And as much as I loved my classes at Bad Dog, the conservatory at Second City is whole different ballgame. Seriously different.
The thing about con is that you're set up with shows, you're basically given a team. And now we're getting into performing archive material and then we'll be writing our own sketches (!!!!). It's a smart way of setting us up with the skills we'll need to do mainstage and the like.
And Second City's style is very specific and it's a style I quite, quite like, and I think I'll be very good at it. I'm overly-excited to pitch my premises and then try hard not to boss everyone forever.

Yeah, Second City has a cult-like vibe to it, but it might be because it's great?
I think it's particularly great for me as I have a hard time pushing people to let me do their shows, or let me be on their teams. This program hand-holds us and it's structured to really take care of us and groom us for their particular style.

Also, the buds I'm meeting through this new lifestyle (hahahaaaah) are serious lovebugs! I feel very lucky to get to hang out with some of the funniest people ever. And comedy crushes, man, I have 'em. Like with most of my crushes I can't tell how much of it is an actual crush or if I just think they're very funny and nice.
Either way, I feel like I've found a whole new world of wonderful people. And the best is that they like me too.





LOVE LIFE
Well. I go back and forth between how I'd like to handle this subject on the internet. As you know, my favourite joke ever of all-time is how I am single for life and how many babes I like and how I would like to look at all of them with my hands. I stand by this series of jokes and it's maybe a bit true in real life (very true) but besides that I think I'm getting better at dealing with men. I'm fairly good at understanding situations, even when I'm not quite powerful enough to change them or leave them. And I've basically stopped using people and am avoiding getting myself into situations where I'll certainly be mean.

I had a rather rough summer with things, and a bit into the fall there, too.
I spent a lot of time doing things on other people's terms. Taking care of them, being on their schedules, working around their garbage, etc.

I had several pretty awesome fights (not crazy, more productive), one in front of my house and he was wearing his bike helmet but undone and the straps were dangling and in retrospect I smile because he looked so silly.
I had a great deal of wonderful conversations, I'm getting better at not being overly dramatic about everything, I'm getting better about not causing conflict where there needn't be any.
I've developed a pretty cool move about being as upfront and honest about things as I possibly can be.  It's lovely and wonderful and freeing.

The two biggest conversations I had this summer were
"I have nothing at all to offer you, but hang out with me until I leave forever"
and
"We don't like each other enough, but should we still hang out?"
so you see what I mean a little bit? Tough, interesting situations.

And I can honestly say that even if I'm not falling in love much these days, I really, whole-heartedly, am loving people.
Knowing someone is loving them, and I can't have those sorts of conversations, those sorts of fights, those sorts of negotiations without loving them.
And as hard as things have been this summer, I wouldn't trade it for anything, it's too important.

It's all maybe helping to make me into a wonderful partner for someone at some point. I think I'll be good at it someday.

I would like to be a very easy-going kind of a guy. I would love to be as relaxed as possible about things, never needlessly demanding or bratty.  And I love, love being a caretaker. I love having someone to do things for and think of and bring things to and back-rub, ya know?
Unfortunately most people are inherently selfish and it's hard to find a balance of care-taking and being taken care of...
But then too, I'm not interested in having a relationship just for the sake of it. And so I'm not willing to put up with a lot of things.

Also, I'm fun! If I'm to ever get serious with anyone, they'll have to be willing to do things. Go out on the town, have adventures, find the fun. Fun is everywhere, it's just not always the easiest to get to.  I need a partner who realizes that it's up to us to make everything the best.

Yeah, okay so, I'd love a babe who wants to take care of me and be taken care of and have adventures forever.
And also who is handsome and the funniest. great, thanks!






WRITING AND SELF-DIRECTED WORK
Hmmmmm. This is a constant source of self-inflicted stress. What is it about me that makes me so unable to just sit down and do some damn work?
I'm getting better? No, I just go through periods of productivity. The shit thing about me is that I'm quite good at a lot of different things but I lack the focus and dedication to get really great at anything. Plus I split focus in really awful ways, I'd say it's possible to have too many hobbies/plans/projects on the mind. That's another reason with this improv conservatory is good for me because it's forcing me to really immerse in it.

When I do get to writing, I'm pleased with what I'm doing. I have no shortage of ideas. So many so many big plans for projects! If I can just get them down, sort them out. I'm bad at plot... that's a thing that's always been true. I love moments, ya know? Bits of truth, lovely interactions. But in order to get those moments I need more plot. Working on it.
I told Arrow I'd give him the first half of a feature I'm working on on December 1st. And he's going to give me the first draft of the feature he's writing. Except I have done NO WORK since we made this deal two weeks or so ago. Classic. I have not even opened the file. Obviously.
I guess I could have been doing that for the past two hours instead of writing this and cruising facebook stalking everyone. Could have. Oh well!


FRIENDS
I don't have too much to say on this except that holy shit do I ever still know some of the most wonderful human beings who have ever existed in this world or any other.
To say that I'm satisfied with my friends these days would be an unforgivable understatement. Not to be overly-dramatic or anything, but, man.... love love love love love love love.
Lucky.



Okay, I just really really love this Tom Cochrane song. Something about it fills up in a lovely nostalgic kind of a way.

Probably done with this for now. It's too long! Sorry/you're welcome.

come over for boardgames

 

Hey, here's something neat; I haven't been a push-things-too-far-asshole in about a year and half according to my calculations!
RIGHT ON.



Remember when I was the kind of person who would push every crush to see what I could get and even when I knew I didn't want to keep hanging out with them I did so that I could continue getting attention? So classy.
Remember two-weekers? I've pretty much gotten that pattern out of my system, I think. Now I know how to get out before it gets like that.
Remember when my mother told me after I'd been dating a dude for over a month that she'd known from the beginning he had no chance?
I have made an actual concerted effort for the past while now to specifically not push things just to see what I can get. Or to pretend I want to be in something I don't. Or to date for the sake of dating.
Oh, man I mean, I'm still not the best.
For instance, I have a crush on everyone I see at first and will push to see if it's reciprocated. But once I realize I'm not actually interested, I back right off.  Sure there are people I should not have kissed and probably should have texted back, but at least I didn't pretend like I wanted to hang out forever like I have in the past.  And I don't actually think I've hurt anyone's feelings particularly in quite sometime.

Hmm. maybe by saying how I'm a better person now, I'm just pointing out how awful I've been in the past. But it's not like most people I know aren't like that sometimes.


Although, you know this means I've been on the other side of it a bit more in the past while. And since before I was arrogantly yelling around about how I deserved a good heart-break, then I guess yeah, it makes sense.

Despite things not particularly going "my way" lately, I'm pretty happy with how I am.
I'm being a kind sort of person, care-taking. A bit too giving, yeah, but sometimes people come into your life and kind of need to be taken care of for a minute.
About one situation I remember saying, 'Well, at least it's me, because I can deal with this'. obnoxiously martyring, yeah. I'll be glad when this stage is done, too.

Another thing I'm pleased I've held onto is how naieve and open I am still. You tell me something, I'll pretty much believe it. Why would you lie to me? I don't want to hang out with liars. 
I still think that people are generally out for the greater good, and not just manipulating everyone and everything to get what they want.
I just can't be that cynical. I think that would be more heart-breaking than actual heart-break in some ways.
And I'm still not going to try to manipulate situations or people or play at things. I just can't. The only thing I value is honesty. And I've actually gotten quite a bit of that this summer. which saved me a lot of distress, and saved friendships.




Went out last night with Dollface to some clubs that I never really go to. We were with some finance guys for a minute but didn't really stay with them, ran into some other random people DF knew. 
Ended up being pretty fun. Some men bought us some drinks. Yep, still feel mildly uncomfortable with being boughten things.
Actually, the dudes we randomly ended up partying with were very lovely. And they were drinking champagne which looked so good but I fiercely stuck to my 6 drink limit and yet still have a headache today.
I did have some awesome dance moves for Dollface for a bit there against a railing. Oh who even lets me out in public?








Finally a new living room set-up! Am I pleased? why yes, yes I am.

the shelving unit is just fruit crates I found in the road and I really couldn't be more pleased about it.
I'm going to turn the table legs around so they bow inwards I think, they stick out a bit much for my liking, but at least we finally have a table! this has been on my wishlist for months! Finally a little place for crafts or games or computer-working. Anything, really!
The living room had been the one room I hadn't touched and hadn't put effort into and therefore was my enemy for this whole summer and now it's too cold to be out on the decks we really need a lovely, warm, cozy, welcoming living room. So glad.




If you haven't watched my video about hockey from the previous post, I suggest you do. Come on now.

Also, improv is totally taking over my life in every way still. And I still love it. If only instead of sucking all my money out of me it would give me money that'd be the best ever.

nice skin

Hey the other day I let Dayna take pictures of me! For Gelaskins.

Man, I don't ever mind getting my picture taken really and if it means I get to hang out with one of my favourite buds for a bit at the same time and get coffee and some skins and stuff then all the better!

I still keep meaning to get a personalized one made up for me...

I would maybe get one of these:




or maybe something like this:

or:


there's other photos I'm thinking of but I have no idea where they are in my photostream. I think I'll get multiple skins and switch it up all the time. mmmhmm.
Very cool idea and company, I think.

I get to go to work tonight! I am tired because Flash Gordon called me and woke me up this morning which would have been fun except I was hanging out with Norman until past 3 in the morning just talking about art and love and other stupid shit like that.
Just kidding best buds.

I am in a terrible mood these days a lot and a lot of it is the various stresses of having roommates. Remember when I was in love with this house and having people around? No longer!
Things will get better, I'm sure, I'm just annoyed and worn out and tired of conflict and conflict resolving and at some point people are going to need to all grow up.
Which is easier said than done, of course.


I don't think I blogged this video yet so here you go. I was in a very, very good mood on that day. Good moods are good ideas!

Also someone stole the front tire off my bike which is locked up in front of my house and now I have to walk to work and walk everywhere basically. And I'm pissed. I'm extra pissed because it was a shitty tire so fuck off, ya know? You don't even want that shitty tire, I need it.
ugh.

OKAY BYE FOR NOW I'M GOING TO BE IN A BETTER MOOD LATER.