dance like no cameras are watching

For some reason Vevo won't let me embed a video here, but I can on Facebook? That's dumb. Anyhow, this:
is the new Arkells music video for Kiss Cam
which features me and Onesie dancing rather sweetly (compared to our normal obnoxious moves!) near the end. We look darling, actually.
You're welcome Arkell buds for the use of our image. Had no idea it was being filmed (may or may not have been right wrecked)!
Luckily I actually really like Arkells, though (spoiler!) I'm 99% certain it wasn't actually that song I was dancing to.



I went to Boston Pizza with Killary tonight for one of our typical Valentines dates. Did you know they have gluten-free crusts there?! And it looked to be the same prize as reg. Nice nice!
I had one and it was not-bad. It wasn't the best pizza crust I've ever eaten but it was totally fine. 

Also they told us that "Paralyzer" cocktails were on special. I have never, ever heard anyone in Ontario ever mention a paralyzer. Is it just a Sask thing? They are popular here for sure, I remember hearing about them when I lived here. I don't think I had ever tried one before so I had to order one.
Here is what happened:



Actually, it wasn't as bad as my face makes it out to be. Only mostly terrible!
Totally worth it for the cultural experience. Obviously.

I feel like I got nothing done today! Maybe because I didn't drive out of town?
I went to a scrapbooking store, I visited Killary's baby, had coffee with a lovely friend, ran into a couple of people I know, had dinner with Killary and even read a bit of my book. Aaaand I'm supposed to go out with Consti later........

I had a bad stress headache this afternoon, so much to see and do in this town and it's making me so sad to think about leaving so soon!



ughgughhhh does anyone want to pay for me to live in both places at once?

fading out like it's never been

Okay, oh good, some pictures of myself. For once. You're welcome.


I wanted to show you how faded out my hair colour is (because I know that you have been wondering how that is going for me) but then the light isn't even good so.....

So then I just edited a bunch of them anyway.

I feel like I used to be better at smiling. When did I stop being good? I think I'm alright at smiling IRL just not necessarily for photos.
My chin is just so extreme, it stretches the skin across it in an annoying way. Should I smile more to stretch out that skin? Should I do face-stretching exercises? Is this just going to go away as my jowls start sagging and I should enjoy it while it lasts?



Ha, imagine being a regular non-actor, non-blog person who could just never think so much about how dumb their face is...
English is my first language.



LOOK WHAT I MADE

Mini-flask necklaces.



Dollface and Violet suggested that I sell these. So now I want to. Where should I sell these? Who will sell them for me?

Aww I like these little guys. Dollface had bourbon in hers last night. Mmmm.


I didn't mean to go out last night but then everyone was texting and they all seemed to be heading to the same area and then when I finally got dressed and out the door, everything seemed to fall through but I was wearing sequins (an awesome vintage dress I cut into a sweet shirt so good. why didn't I take pictures?) so I couldn't very well turn around and go back home, could I?
So I went down to meet Dollface at Goodnight and I made some good jokes and some new buds and then we hoofed it up to Churchill where we stayed until we got kicked out. But I fully maintained babebreak didn't even entertain any dumb notions.

Actually feeling so great about babebreak. It has taken all of the "loneliness" out of my life... I say that because I'm never really lonely, I'm pretty much always content in my life and lifestyle, but the idea of being actively looking for love adds a sense of loneliness to my lifestyle. Like I'm failing somehow, or missing something. Which I don't think is necessarily true.
Funny how society conspires against me when I should be busy enjoying myself.



I think this one is for me to keep. I put vodka in it already. I need another flask because I only have four other ones. But I can't find my 3-ouncer. Sooo... Plus this one is a 5-ouncer and I don't have one that size.



Also, there's been an epidemic of break-ups it seems, lately? Has anyone else noticed this trend? My one friend today was blaming the lunar eclipse. I wonder....

Oh yeah, I spent today with one of my favourite people, eating cookies, drinking multiple kinds of tea, picking at all the candy in the house, and talking about everything. Perfect kind of afternoon. Spending time at home with friends is the best because there's no pressure to finish up or get going, or get to the subjects. You can talk or be quiet or yell or cry even and it's no big deal.
Best.

 

Now maybe I'll do the laundry! No real point since I'm on babe break, I know but whatever. 

yo, ducks!

I went on such a nice walk today with my bestdogfriend, Kaya. Usually I walk Kaya in the evenings but now Dollface has started a Bay Street office job (WHAT?) and so I'm going to take Kaya out the days sometimes. Dogwalking in the day seems different than at night.
But I'm pretty happy to have the excuse to have a time to be up by and a reason to get out of the house. It's way easier to keep momentum than to build it, for me.
So hopefully now I'll be out of the house sometimes and get more stuff done? Seems slightly likely.



I still love walking. I like bike riding, but I love walking. I look forward to walks in a way that's different from most other things. It totally clears out my mind and relaxes me.
Although my shins hurt a lot right now.




I bought the This American Life radio show app and now I can listen to episodes while walking but then I just laugh out loud in the street like a crazy person. It's kind of the best. I guess I'll just have to choose only serious episodes to listen to.
Or only listen to the funny ones at night. I found that my scarf last night was good for hiding my laughing behind. I just had to be a bit quieter and no one would notice...



Kaya and I went down to the lake shore today and it was really gorgeous out. Kind of chilly, especially by the water, and kind of grey but still super nice. I barely ever hang out by the lake. It's huge!



There was a huge flock of geese and a huge flock of ducks and I wanted them to fight but they seemed like buds. Kaya likes ducks! And Kaya seemed to find it amusing when I made duck sounds. Though who the fuck can tell what dogs are about?!
Not me.

Her life is a cliché.


Niki is in town and staying with me for a bit. So I went out with her and Noodle last night to Ronnie's. Ronnie's is pretty much a joke, hey?



Guess how much I feel like being on babe break? NOT AT ALL.
I haven't officially announced or decided that it's begun.. I'm still thinking on it. And flirting with babes. Obviously.
When I was thinking about babe break while in Saskatoon it was easier because it was Saskatoon. But have you been to Toronto? THERE ARE SO MANY BABES. I see all of them! And it's winter time and they are so cute in their tuques and beards and plaids! Aii.




Oh yeah also went out with Dollface, Violet and NN on Sunday night and scoped some babes and mostly drank a lot of gin and tonics. So delicious. Not to point out the obvious here but man, I love going out with ladies. Especially funny and fun ladies. I'm kind of glad we didn't get in to Dakota. I liked our own bar crawl and running into other buds.



I love Toronto. I think this might be the first time where I was excited to come back here after Saskatoon. I love Saskatoon but it was feeling a little small this time around. I think it'd be the best place to be with a partner and best friends, but I'd hate to be single in Saskatoon right now. Plus there's so much petty shit in certain circles and nowhere to go to escape it. I loved staying in and hanging with my family and I loved driving around, but I found the social aspect to be a bit wearing this time.
Still want to live there at some point again. At least for a bit or part time or maybe film stuff there or have a cottage out there. 



I do miss my mother though. And my whole family.

From my cousin's blog:
Also, one of the most beautiful Christmas trees I have ever decorated. (Tragically scarring my children by 1, involving them only minimally in the decorating process and 2, not being interested in showcasing school crafts on the tree. Refrigerators, walls, windows - fine. But not my tree.)

Well, actually, Rachel snuck a penguin ornament with a picture of herself onto the tree in a wall-facing corner and I have left it there because I enjoy the touching symbolism of my little waif sneaking representations of herself into my austere Christmas - like a glimpse of a seventeenth century orphan through your frosted window panes.

haaaaa classic.

remember when i met you i couldn't say your name

Wowwow I am terrible when I am not spending enough time by myself.



Even Dollface reminded me that I need "alone timez" last night when I complained of being a bit irritable. Classic classic meredith r. mistletoe.



I got my new COUGAR BOOTS in the mail today, though. The winter boots are apparently good up to -30 if you're active while wearing them.
I am going to be so pleased trying these out this winter.
I walked to work the other day (little italy to union station basically kind of a hike) for the first time in awhile it went surprisingly fast. Fast and easy. I always forget just how much I love walking.
Also it was stormy out and the air felt a bit crazy which is always the best time for walking really.

I try to walk both ways as much as possible all winter and these boots I got seem to have serious grip plus are waterproof man I'm just going to stomp my way down to work with the happiest feet. I kind of wish it would snow. Okok snow in 2 weeks then we can get this christmas party started 'round here, yeah? 



My house is uncomfortably messy right now and I'm glad that I have tomorrow off.
Having a clothing swap in the evening (come! no, seriously, if you want to come you should) and so I want to get the house into shape for showing off. Or at least making a little cozy nest for us to drink sangria in and swap clothes and gossip.



Though cleaning is not high on my list of favourite activities I do very badly need some quiet and that's a good way to get some. Just tidying up and taking care of my space and things.
I don't think I even know if what I'm feeling today is valid or true or if I'm just tired and need some space.



I wonder if I'll get tired of Plastic Bullet the way I'm sort of tired of Hipstamatic (for my own use, I'm still into other people's photos)? So far still love it.

I will for sure not get tired of that tuque I've had it since grade 12 probably. I know the girl who gave it to me regrets letting it go now that I've gotten 10 years of wear out of it. Best hat, though.