floor-bed

Norman's out on the town and I'm not out with him, which is pretty bizarre! Although one time earlier this week we were out and he stayed in. Even stevens we are.



Speaking of-- Norman recently wrote a really remarkable blog about his long-time love of rap. Norman's blog is actually always worth the read. I'm not just saying that because our love springs eternal.
Oh, I just looked at his site just now and the newest one about his great-grandmother is just so, so lovely.


I bought clogs. I don't remember ever even thinking about wanting to buy clogs. These were very cheap. I'm into them. Weird decision, certainly.

(a ghost came and the ghost was like "heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy")



Comedy is hard. Do I talk about comedy enough? It still feels very foreign to me that I'm a comedy performer. A "comedian". There's only so long I'm going to be allowed to feel new about it.
I used to think I'd hate the part where I'm constantly examining why something is funny and how and so on. I don't hate it. I find it interesting. I can't imagine feeling more sure and unsure at the same time about something.


(birthmark back)


I would pay all the money I could find/borrow/steal to just buy a shitload of confidence to use at my convenience. I'd pay it no problem because I'm certain that's the only thing keeping me from doing all the things I should be doing.
Getting there, getting there.

I've always been a late bloomer, in pretty much every way. I lost my last baby tooth just before entering 9th grade. It takes me awhile to get to things, sometimes. Most times.
So it's okay that now I'm a comedian. It's okay that I'm still scared of it and nervous about it and figuring it out. It'll be okay if I finally really do stand-up at 40 (or in a week or two, whichever).
It's hard to remember that youth is just the tiniest section of my life and everything that happens enriches and adds to what I already know and can make me better.

Not having dealines isn't a good excuse not to work, Meredith.

It is strange, also, to go from being an avid comedy watcher and enjoyer and supporter to being a performer and working with people I've admired. Going from being a fan to a peer, basically. And it's hard to imagine talking them into working with me, because of course I'm just the person who goes to shows, not the person who does them. Not now, though.
Oh, I'm so jealous of the easy, sturdy confidence so many people seem to ooze. So remarkably jealous.

But also, while we're on the subject, being a "comedian" isn't making me less bratty, I'll tell you that for free. It's (embarrassingly) making me much worse about pointing out what I don't like about other people's jokes. It's making me far more annoyed with how people go about humour sometimes. It's making it impossible to think about falling in love with anyone because they would have to be the funniest but then also that probably somehow wouldn't be enough or I'd just feel furious about not being as funny.
I'm not satisfied with my own level of comedy and so I'm remarkably hard on everyone else. COOL MOVE.



I'm still revelling in loving the jokes I love, though.  Lately I've been working a lot with one of my bffs, Flash Gordon, and we frequently fall over laughing. And the jokes aren't ones I can relay, I can just guarantee that to us they are pure magic. I wouldn't know how to bottle our interactions, explain them, or write them in a screenplay, but I wish I could because it's very nice.

Anyway.
Second Cottage Friendship Retreat Weekend this weekend. Where is time going? Looks like it'll be at least 12 (!) people up there at some point and I'm just so excited because we're going up for several days and lots of people are coming at different times and mannnnn do I like socializing.


(such a young-looking one, still. I wonder if I'll become a creepy old-young faced guy soon.)

I put my bed on the floor. Sometimes you just lose patience. This was one of those times. I have bigger plans for this set-up and I need my tablecloths back from Mrs (ohh yeah, Mrs is now ACTUALLY a MRS now. so bizarre) that she used at her wedding. Mrs and Arrow's weddings was one of the most lovely, tasteful, perfect parties I've ever been to. Aaaaaand I love them.

Also, guys, I'm taking the train back to Saskatoon real soon and I'm actually ridiculously excited for that adventure, and on the train I'd really like for there to be:
a) a mystery I get to solve
b) sweet babes
c) secret booze I don't get caught with
d) fun surprises

cottage dreams

I'm back from the cottage. It's much hotter in the city. The sun sets behind the cottage and it gets shady very early in the evening and cools down the house. I'm never too hot in the evenings there beside the lake. I like being chilly at night, wearing sweatpants, roasting marshmallows in the fireplace, sleeping under a big duvet.




I like the cottage, you may have guessed.
I read zero books. I drank one hundred beers. I ate everything in sight. Had some good chats, had some really, really fantastic swims.
It's funny because I'm a bit hesitant about going into the water at first. I mean, I still do it, but I wonder if I even like swimming. But once I'm in, man. Last one out, basically always.
Last night it was pretty cool all day and then it rained a bit off and on and I took myself out on a kayak expedition around the lake just before sunset and I felt the water and it was warm, so when I got back I went swimming.
so fucking lovely. It was maybe the warmest the water was all weekend. And Dollface was in the sunroom basically ignoring me and Kaya (the dog) wasn't too whiney about me being in the lake for so long and I just dicked around in there like there was no tomorrow.
The best.



Hopefully I will have more to say about this later. Right now I'm hot and tired. I'm refusing to get out of my bathing suit and I'm having a dinner beer. No interest in reality. No interest at all.

It was a super low-key and relaxing weekend. No mascara, no cool outfits, no one to feel awkward around.
In August I think it will be maybe 7 or 12 people or more or less and it will be way more of a party weekend and I'm excited for that. But I'm pleased at how relax-a-saurus this weekend was. Caught up on all my sleeping and lazing about.





this bikini is from Giant Tiger. Prune had the same one at one point, I copied her by buying it. I wonder if she still owns hers.



Thank god for blogs, otherwise what would be the point of taking all these photos.



Probably should go see what my bender gang is up to. I haven't seen them in a couple weeks, which in bender gang time is approximately one year.

dock's a-waiting!

Quick Q! How many bikinis is too many to pack?? haahhaaaa just kidding I'll only take three.



t minus some minutes before I leave for FRIENDSHIP RETREAT COTTAGE WEEKEND. ughgughgghhh. I'm so excited!


stone cottage dreamhome. who wants to pitch in and buy this with me?? come on. let's get serious.





oh yeah, so I met my new roommate, Chanel:



Oh yeah, she came with a human. The human seems nice. hahahaaaaa awww I love cats. Chanel purred around my legs already this morning.
I wonder what my new lady-roommate's nickname will be. She's a stranger I met for the first time yesterday so we'll have to give it a moment to figure it out!

Got a headache in my brain from drinking and not sleeping enough but last night was a whole lot of fun. Remount of the Book of Moron.

Guys. on a semi-related note, all of my hardwork in friendships has really paid off for me. I have the BEST friends. Honestly. I have friends that I want to cry when I see them because they are that nice and great and love me so much. Anyway, thanks to everyone who came out to this show. A year of work!
I can't believe that it's done. I'm quite sad. It's crazy when something this intensive is over.
Such good work we did. We came so fucking far. I love that some of my friends came to our first class shows and got to be amazed at how far we've come.
nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice



BRB GUYS HERE THIS IS WHERE I'LL BE!



I can't wait to get into my bedroom!!! I can't wait! I can't wait to look out my window (oh yeah, also this is definitely Dollface's family's cottage but I definitely pretend it's for me only mostly. haahahaha yeeeeeahhhh)

harm reduction chair

Remember when I wasn't ever busy and only worked like 20 hours a week and my only hobbies were blogging?

Is this the longest stretch of time I've ever gone without updating this? Possibly. I'm filled with good intentions of getting back into it. FILLED TO THE BRIM.

here's a video I made a couple of months ago that's good voice work on my part. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I made it in a few hours for the Second City training centre's weekly video competition based on the word "potato".

Hey, guess what! I left the country!
Yeah yeah for the very first time ever in my life I crossed the border into the united states. Hey today is the 4th of July. That's their day.




this is me at our first rest stop after crossing the border. I was pretty excited. Goddamn that's a long drive to NYC, hey? I don't know how some people do it super fast. Speeding, I guess. We did it long.

I have a new stranger roommate coming tomorrow. The last time a stranger moved in it was Yulie, so I have high hopes.
It's too hot to clean but I need to clean so badly. It's hard with everyone coming and going, but once this roommate is officially in we can start making it like a real proper home. HOPEFULLY!


Hey look, it's Sass aka Joey aka my old Toronto bud who is currently living in NYC. In this photo she is my boyfriend and we are in the secret garden of the air b n b my team stayed at.


my good-looking improv team and I did our show at 10:45 on Sunday morning. We had a small house (some of our buds came to our show. thank you, buds!) but did a solid set. I was actually really pleased with how we did. It was nice having a low-pressure time slot and a clock that was counting down our 30 minutes. I relaxed.

It's dumb how much my nerves and lack of self confidence ruin my life. Working working wooorking on it.


I feel like I'm getting better looking these days. I would say forsure it's because of my curling wand, my interest in dressing slightly better, and possibly how I've lost quite a bit of weight (though I get defensive on that point because I don't like the idea that one's weight dictates one's level of attractiveness).
But for sure the number one thing is how I'm less nervous of everyone. I'm just more happy in my own body and brain. That's a thing that's obvious and appealing, I think.


new (old) computer that I bought for $300 because I spilled tea into my macbook pro. I kind of love this guy, so far. And he doesn't feel too fancy for me!

work tonight and then rehearsal tomorrow and then we remount THE BOOK OF MORON my Second City conservatory graduation show.
I can't believe how much I've not written about on here. Upsetting.
Anyway, I'm done conservatory now and we HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK with our grad show. I'm very pleased with what I got in the show in the end (despite some rough patches in the process for suuure).
awhile ago I wrote a list of things I wanted for myself in the show:
-scene where I am an engaged and realistic actor
-scene that showcases how dynamic and energetic I can be
-scene where I get to play a big and playful character

I get to do all that and a bunch more. And I get to support some fuuuuucking hilarious performers in their work. What a process. What a time this has been.

Anyhow, if you're around tomorrow (July 5th) at 11 p.m. come to the Second City's mainstage and judge for yourself. You might as well, really!

If you don't follow me on twitter then you're missing out. That's what I do instead of blogging. I'm a big fan of twitter.

 This weekend is the first of COTTAGE of the 2 cottage weekends Dollface and I have planned for ourselves. I am very, very excited. I feel like I've earned all of the relax time I'm going to enjoy this weekend. Hahahahahaaaa earned.

1 show down, 1 billion shows to go

oh plans oh big big plans oh summer oh big summertimes plans big springtime plans



Dollface just booked her family cottage for a couple of weekends for us this summer and now I can't sit still with anticipation. Kaya the dog will also have the best time ever.



lots of things on the horizon for this summer and I'm excited to see how everything plays out and to see what kinds of adventures we all get to go on. lucky lucky lucky.


(what a fun headscarf! no, mum, you can't have it back)

A few big ups and downs this week but I have to tell you all right now that as of this moment my life is in grrrreat shape and I'm very happy.
And I keep thinking "I'm so lucky" which is a nice place to be in.



WHITE PANTHER GIRLFRIEND had their first show last night and it was so, so fun! so fun! I'm really interested to see the tape and see if it looked as nice as it felt. We did a format called "the livingroom" which involved us sitting and talking and telling real life stories/information and I liked that part a lot. We like each other a lot and are interested in each other's business so that makes things a thousand times easier.
This is a really nice team we have going... and in between practice and show we had a pizza party and man, we can just talk for hours given the chance.



this teammate was so mad about me wanting all the drinks the other day. I deserve all the drinks!


so much comedy stuff these days so many things to see and do and so many plans in my head about how to become a good worker (endless struggle, man).
I'm not working and creating to the degree I would like to be. Not even close.



and, of course, lots of time spent at hoops. I just like watching Canucks games and hanging out with some of the best buds. sue me.
The guy at the far end was grilling me about who are my favourite comedians and how funny I am. He bought me a drink so I let him. He just about blew a gasket when I said I love Gilda Radner. Blew a gasket in a good way.




oh good god what a handsome bunch of assholes I hang out with.

There's not enough time in the days these days! I need more hours because I don't have any alone time lately and I haven't caught up on all my tv shows. Ha, wow. big problems.

new tradition I drink tequila coolers when out with improv buds

Somehow I managed to get up at reasonable time today! 9:30! that's a totally acceptable time, right? for me, at least.


This looks like a realistic photo of me, I think. I still have such a hard time imagining myself as a real-life human who exists in the world. self-perception is so bizarre.


Dollface and I had pho for dinner last night and she gave me a gift and the gift was all of these flower-print sheets. So beautiful!
except the reason why I got them is because they are selling the cottage in the springtime. How heartbreaking!
dislike.


I'm so happy for my flower-bed though. And it will go so well with my flower-wall. If any of you want to paint me flower pictures or find me flower pictures for my wall, I'd be so into that!


Oh yeah, our show went really well yesterday! Our group is good!




awwwww a couple of my favourite buds from improv! ha, actually I'm a pretty big fan of all my improv group these days!


hahaa classic. We definitely drank in the park afterward for an extended period of time. Why not!

the class that went after us yesterday was the conservatory 6 group, which is the last level of con, and they were so fun! I cannot wait for us to get to write our own sketches and perform them! Getting to do our best characters and best ideas!
There were these two girls from the other class who did a couple of sweet scenes that depended on them being such a great duo and I'm trying to convince my favourite improv bud (this girl here) that we need to be like them. She's the funniest so I'm just going to jump on that bandwagon like whoa.


Apparently my old friend ee gets into town today. I'm hoping that we can arrange some very fun hangs this week. She's pretty much the boss of fun, so it shouldn't be tooo hard.

Also I'm working the hockey pre-season game tonight which is exciting because it means that soon hockey season starts again in earnest and then I get to go back to going to Hoops all the time with Norman! what a funtime!