foraaaaaaaaa fotooooos

Whoaly whoaly. That wine hit me pretty hard last night. It's great how good moods can build on themselves somedays, though. 

A good day all the way through. I was totally against going to work but then it was a very fun shift and one of my favourite co-workers and I joked with all the customers so much and I was being part-rude in a way that sporting men find very funny. And we made a lot of money (which I was not expecting in any way). 

Then I went to the Central for Raymi's birthday and that was super fun as well and I was in a loving mood and probably being slightly more congenial than usual. Leave me alone, I'm working on it! 

Okay here are some photos that are weeks overdue!

Raymi always looks like she owns the room. She's so tall and blonde! 

Okay okay yeah, we were at MTV for the launch of their new online magazine! 

It is called FORA and you can look at it soon! 

Casie was in charge of the event and got us all together and we watched a taping of The Aftershow (aftershow for what? oh yeah that reality show!) and then we got some drinks! And had some food!

Everyone was sooo cute. Also featured in these pictures are Lisa, Breanna, and Carly-Ann. And some people I don't really know! Dreamboats. 

I like Raymi I'm glad that we're friends (finally). 

Remember when I was on MTV?

I was. Apparently they're still using these a bit? Who knows! Sometimes young ladies still recognize me. 

THANK GOD, finally some pictures of me for once! 

Wow, it is so hot in this apartment. Already. Is it too early to put the AC in the window? Yes. Okay then. 

Oh yeah, I got a GIANT case of eye make-up from Matchstick and Maybelline.  I'm going to be taking some pictures of myself in it (surprise!) and then you'll see. Also I want to take your picture in it, also.  But for now you can go fan them on FB. Oh yeah, also I have some coupons for ya so as ya can make yerself up pretty, too! 

UGH, too far. 

once I thought I'd like to be a blossom growing on a tree

yep. nope. no excuse for not blogging.
well I've been busy doing a whole lot of nothing and being sort of whiny about it, so maybe you won by me not writing?

Tonight as I was coming home, I was filled with great ideas of things I wanted to write about, about plays I wanted to start and characters I'd like to flesh out. I also was planning on looking into the Saskatoon and Edmonton Fringe festivals, and maybe seeing about going to Montreal for a mini-vaycay next week.
Guess what I did instead?
NOTHING.

Well, I ate some ketchup flavoured crispy minis, pet Theresa, read my google reader, and watched TV-on-the-internet.

FUCK I'M SO LAZY IT'S EMBARRASSING.

Of course, no one else is allowed to say that to me, only me. Only I get to say such things about myself. And maybe my mother. But nope, my mother is an enabler, always congratulating me for the stupid little things I do.


(look how happy she is there, congratulating my fancy waving skills.)

I feel a bit stagnated lately. I feel a bit bored and frustrated. My career is fully in the shitter (in case you haven't noticed me not booking anything lately) and I feel impotent and helpless in terms of that. I can't make work come to Toronto. I can't make casting directors call me in. And I most certainly can't convince them to cast me.

It's annoying that MTV and possibly even the diversity campaign people are still running commercials with me in them because:
a) I'm not getting any money from them (non-union work is the king of taking advantage)
b) It makes people feel as if I'm successful when I am really not (this is not the positive it seems like it might be, it makes people continuously ask about my dammit career and then get excited for having seen me on TV.)
c) It's possible to be over-exposed on TV and since they're still running old ads maybe it's effecting my chances of getting other stuff?

WHO KNOWS.

powerless powerless powerless


Hmmm. I sounded like I was in a way worse mood there than I actually am.

I've been having a run of bad luck lately which is a bit frustrating and I keep wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something. I wonder if the universe is trying to get me to be the kind of person who worries about possessions and money.

I don't really worry about either right now. I hate not having any money and I hate working but I don't really worry about things like debt and surprise costs (this attitude is not actually serving me well in the real-time world, but it is definitely keeping me young).
I just do not like being stressed or in a panic. I try very hard to avoid those feelings.


What I really think, though, is that I'm getting all this bad luck and expenses out of the way in order for some REALLY GREAT things to start coming my way.
I am not kidding at all.

I am going to start getting ready for all of these great things! (after I watch Glee on the internet.)


You know what would be great? If someone wanted to lend me $600 to do the Fringe with. I need more benefactors. They could be my producer...
I'm fully considering living in Saskatoon for two months next summer. Doing the fringe and partying down and getting some work done hopefully (not plastic surgery well maybe we'll see).


Also, I want to buy an iPhone. If you have a good reason why I shouldn't, tell me. Also, if you have a good reason why I should, same deal!

damn girl, don't hurt him don't d-don't don't don't hurt him

UGH.

Well, apparently they really liked me this morning EXCEPT that some of them didn't and one of them asked if I had a speech impediment. Which I don't. I don't think.

Which means: Do your voice warm-ups before you go to auditions. Especially if you live alone.
Also, I'm still sick and have been sick for weeks and so my voice is still off. But I don't know.

I hate knowing that they're thinking of wanting me but that maybe they won't choose me. HORRENDOUS.
Being an actor is all about being powerless all the time.
And you know how good I am with that.

On the plus side, I don't seem to have fucked up my hair colour too badly. Fingers crossed.

And also,
look what I found on the internet: