give me more christmas forever

yeah yeah yeah I forsure opened up my writing files which means (of course) I have to come over to blogger instead because all of a sudden I just need to update this junk. classsssssic.


I have never in my life seen a full-grown, adult cat look/act/sound more like a teenage kitten than Adventure Cat. Suchhh a nice kitten! Such a soft and funny kitten. Such a pest and pain and a whiner.


My mum was at McNally Robinson today and she was in the washroom and a little kid came in and announced "I'm going to make a really stinky one!!"

that is forsure the kind of kid I'd like and will have sometime.

Oh, yeah, guys, by the way, I'm 28 now. Do you think that makes me the new boss of late 20s? Probably, hey?

Do you guys want to marry me yet, or no?






I don't know why I'm posting some Christmas pictures but not all the Christmas pictures. I guess it's because I do what I like when I like to do it. We had a few gifts. Luckily. The picture of taste? I'd say so!


Am I envious of my cousin's house and her handyman husband? Fuck you.



Hmmmmmm.
I was thinking yesterday while dealing with more sellllllfish bullllshit that ever since making a concerted effort to try to not hurt people's feelings and to not get involved with people who like me too much just for the attention (hahaaaaha UGH you know what I mean, though?) I am dealing with a massive string of the most SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED, SELF-INVOLVED humans.
(as a quick clarification: I do not particularly mean any current situation or activity)

How do people make it to their late 20s and even mid 30s as such bratty, whiny, deservist little wimps??
Selfishness I think is a pretty intense problem in the circles I run in-- these generations are spoiled, coddled gens who think we're entitled to the world and shouldn't have to settle for anything less.
But I feel like there should be limits!

Also, I put up with shit from romantic interests I would never dream of dealing with from pals.
What kind of sick barfbag am I?
Haaaaaaa
I'm being over-dramatic on this point to try to keep myself in check about all of this. Man up, Meredactyl, so much of this is unacceptable.

I think, and this comes as a shock to me most of all, that I've become too nice. I'm confusing my desire to be always kind with being too understanding, too passive, too care-taking.
I stop realizing how everything is on their terms. I stop realizing that if what they're offering is not enough I don't have to take it. This seems obvious, and yet.
And I want very much to be a good friend and a kind friend and an easy-going friend, it's just that that set of skills doesn't work if people are just selfish and that's just how they are.

hhmmm hmm hm.
just considering things.


photos from Christmas morning! I'm sad my baby bro wasn't there (he was in BC with his gf and her fam and gets back tomorrow to celebrate a bit with us) but it did mean that we all (mum, me, aunt) fit on my mum's bed for stockings which was cozy and nic.



on a more serious note,
CAN YOU BUY ME A NEW COMPUTER?
it doesn't even have to be a new computer it could be a used computer forsure.

REASONS WHY I NEED A NEW COMPUTER:

a) I'd like to be able to have more than one application open at once (haaa just kidding, I have Celtx open right now too but photoshop is just not a thing that works on this machine anymore)

b) Imagine if I could make movies on my computer? you could watch them then!

c) I could go back to being a photographer (there's kind of no point right now since I really can't deal with big file photos on this machine)

d) I could watch all my stories better. Fine, maybe this one isn't really for encouraging, but I would waste a lot less time trying to get it to stream

e) the powercord is fraying at the plug-in and it will probably set on fire soon and burn us all down.  :( :( :(

f) babes will think I'm cooler

g) I could then video-talk with you in our respective houses and I would probably take my top off (hahaaa just kidding I always wear shirts)

h) I could go back to making sweet beats for my rap career

i) I keep burning my legs

j) I don't have a dad

k) I'll swear around less, cursing this old technology

l) I can do more work, like a real good worker kind of a guy





If you can't afford to buy me a new computer but do understand how to make computers work better I will accept your offer to come over and help me clear out my computer and de-clutter it and make it run fast and strong again.
(with the warning that it is a powerbook that I bought for $300 about 3 years ago at least)

THANKYOUUU





this is where I am right now:

cuddled up and pretending to be a good worker but instead I'll waste forever and ever on bloggggg! Oh, whoops, on facebook, too!!!
Whatever, guys, I have a hard time explianing these days to people who don't blog or don't read blogs, but this thing has helped me so much. Not only a writer but also in terms of comedy-- a place to write whatever and get feedback and make buds and have people think I'm mildly funny at least occasionally.
Also, I love reading people's blogs. I 100% do. So hopefully if you read this it's because you like it and not just to get mad about (I've had to stop myself from reading a couple of blogs like that forsure forsure).

I feel bad because I should have gone out and socialized this evening but I just couldn't get around to it. I mean, I did see three of my favourite people already today but I should have done more. Always should do more. But it's my vacation too and sometimes you just want to curl up with a good book or a good computer for awhile. And enjoy the fuck out of it.

occupy bareass beach

 haaa my mum uploaded this picture to her fb and the album name is "Occupy Bareass Beach".
classic mother.

 I've been hiding out in my room all day making Christmas crafts. I can't tell if I'm in a good mood or bad mood lately. Both.

 Went to see a couple of the shows last night at Toronto Improv Fest. So, so good. The first show I went to, especially was wonderful. It was an all-woman extravaganza and featured several of my favourite comedians and buds. So, so impressive. And I was happy that everyone I knew legitimately killllllllled it and I didn't have to pretend congrats for anyone because it was super amaze like whoa. Especially my favourite classmate, so happy she's so great.

Lots of redheads in the show! Maybe 45% redheads. Am I exaggerating? It seemed like a lot! I'm jealous. What is going to make me special now???

 I'm working all weekend. Super weird. Please give me more jobs. Thanks

this last one is my favourite. Obviously?

elevators and churches

I go back to Toronto on Tuesday first thing in the early early morning.
That means I have the rest of today and all of tomorrow to do things. Like always, there is too much to do and too little time. Though it's especially bad this year because of the shortened length of my trip.
I'm always on the verge of crying. I'm homesick looking around me.



People are always surprised when they find out I've never been out of Canada and I don't own a passport. I can't seriously consider traveling when wherever I am I am homesick. I'm homesick for Toronto right now, and the moment I go back I will feel ill with missing Saskatoon.
I'm lucky to love things like this, I think. But still.



I've spent more time looking at churches this weekend then I ever have before. Do you think if I made a calendar of Saskatchewan prairie churches I could sell it? I regret not bringing my DSLR or even a film SLR with me this trip.
I want to be taking more photos. Better photos.



I have to calm down this fall. I have to cool it. It will be the perfect time and opportunity for me to take better care of myself, both physically, emotionally, creatively, and work-wise.
Remind me to remind my Ossington Dreamhome that we are a dreamhome not a party-all-the-time-home.

This afternoon I'm having coffee with my one of my favourite people since kindergarten. We have almost nothing in common anymore but I love her so much.
I just love who I love so much and that's just what I'm like.

dance like no cameras are watching

For some reason Vevo won't let me embed a video here, but I can on Facebook? That's dumb. Anyhow, this:
is the new Arkells music video for Kiss Cam
which features me and Onesie dancing rather sweetly (compared to our normal obnoxious moves!) near the end. We look darling, actually.
You're welcome Arkell buds for the use of our image. Had no idea it was being filmed (may or may not have been right wrecked)!
Luckily I actually really like Arkells, though (spoiler!) I'm 99% certain it wasn't actually that song I was dancing to.



I went to Boston Pizza with Killary tonight for one of our typical Valentines dates. Did you know they have gluten-free crusts there?! And it looked to be the same prize as reg. Nice nice!
I had one and it was not-bad. It wasn't the best pizza crust I've ever eaten but it was totally fine. 

Also they told us that "Paralyzer" cocktails were on special. I have never, ever heard anyone in Ontario ever mention a paralyzer. Is it just a Sask thing? They are popular here for sure, I remember hearing about them when I lived here. I don't think I had ever tried one before so I had to order one.
Here is what happened:



Actually, it wasn't as bad as my face makes it out to be. Only mostly terrible!
Totally worth it for the cultural experience. Obviously.

I feel like I got nothing done today! Maybe because I didn't drive out of town?
I went to a scrapbooking store, I visited Killary's baby, had coffee with a lovely friend, ran into a couple of people I know, had dinner with Killary and even read a bit of my book. Aaaand I'm supposed to go out with Consti later........

I had a bad stress headache this afternoon, so much to see and do in this town and it's making me so sad to think about leaving so soon!



ughgughhhh does anyone want to pay for me to live in both places at once?

"gargoyles eat ghosts and I want one for a pet"

prairie prairie prairie prairie


just hanging out with my family all day long on the prairies. yesterday was pretty much the most perfect day ever to be out on the plains.











uh oh my aunt is here to pick us up to go to Michael's and then go to a movie and I forgot to get dressed. whoops!














I may or may not want to get married in this church. Is that allowed if I am not Catholic? Probably not, hey?
What if it's abandoned? can I just show up and get married in it?
Ha! Imagine me getting married?!
I can't.




hahaaa my aunt just said "I'm going to boot you soon" guess I've over-stayed my welcome already! what a smart mouth I have.

I was trying to be funny for my baby cousin (who is almost 4) yesterday and she looked at me quite seriously and said "if you're trying to be funny, you should just tell me..."
also, earlier I was giving her a "monster-back-ride" in the lake, which is where you have a child ride on your back while pretending to be a monster and jump around in the water and she said "can you please stop making those noises? You are really annoying me"
hahahaahhaahaaa burned several times by a tiny child!






this is my sweet ride while I'm home. Nicey nicey.
Also, I walked home from the bar last night because I'm tired of not walking because I live in a somewhat dangerous neighbourhood but it was only like a 15 minute walk and I would never in real life take a cab for a 15 minute walk. Uh uh. Anyway, it was fine but a bit nervous-making.

just a little purple crocus, yeah?

I hate when Easter comes around because for some reason (even after 7 years) I never remember the wave of homesick that's about to hit.
Not even Thanksgiving compares (ugh, turkey). It's Easter that always makes me so ridiculously sad to not be with all my wonderful, wonderful family.

I guess I am super ridiculously lucky to have family that I miss so much that it makes me break out into hysterical sobbing. RIGHT?
No, I do realize that I've lived a charmed life and that almost no one has a family that they get along with in the same way that I do with mine.
BUT.

Homesick, man.


these pictures are from a couple of years ago. Why I'm not there now.. I have no good reason. So lovely, though. And this baby is now a tiny child, a child who hardly knows me (seems unfair).



reflection of the clouds in Eagle Creek. (takemehome takemehome)


I feel a bit like I'm looking through photos of an ex-boyfriend, of a relationship past.
Pretty close.

Maybe to you it looks brown and grey and uninteresting and not exiting, but I have to say, Eagle Creek is one of our home-bases. Its tall hills and hidden coves in bluffs of trees, its big rocks for sitting on and its bridge for climbing.... hard to explain if you can't come with us. But if you ever have an opportunity, I hiiiighly recommend. 


My mum and my little baby cousin. Growing up so big and I'm not even there for it. Oh sigh, oh sigh.

Also, happy birthday to my aunt! I love you very, very much. And even more importantly, I think you're straight-up funny and wonderful.
no joke.

from my cousin's blog:
"P.S. Meredith, don’t be too angry with me for posting about it. Snide FB comments aside, you were missed the whole time we were there. I thought of you every time I took a picture of something and I wanted to share."
fresh sadness. in the best possible way.
except why can't I be in both places? make my life go in a direction that makes this possible.

these photos I just stole from her blog. Because that's what I'm like.

Please get some crocuses for me?
You'll get my undying devotion in return?
good deal.

Also,
I'm so happy these days with Toronto and with my bestfriends who are actually remarkable. I'm just homesick as well.
Coinciding.
I'm lucky.