I spent too much time today being self-indulgent in many ways, including taking half-naked glamour shots of myself in the mirror. I don't know what this says about me (besides maybe that I need to get a job).
Vaguely NSFW? Not really, even.
MYSPACE ANGLES
My mum used to model nude for art classes. So I can put whatever I'd like on the internet.
My aunt does not agree with me on this one.
First time I'm wearing make-up since my cat vs. eye incident, I wish I was comfortable never wearing make-up. It's a silly thing to rely on.
No, I have not left the house today. BEST TIMES.
I for certainly have carpel tunnel in my wrists from too much internet, but that's the price I'll have to pay. I think I did some good work today. Thought about writing some deep poems but I haven't gotten around to it yet.
I might do it though.
I went and found my lip ring and put it back in. For fun.
I got my lip pierced in the summer of 2000 in between grade 11 and grade 12 and the funny part was that I had never really made out with someone before I had it done.
I mean, I made out with one guy, kind of, in the basement dressing-rooms of the school theatre. But it wasn't really like making out because I was more just laughing too hard and kind of too embarrassed to be alive. (I hope that guy links over from my FB and reads this! He now has a wife and kids! And I'm still the awkward kid bad at making out!)
We didn't even really have crushes on each other. But the intensity of flirting, the fun times that we had backstage. It was fun to play at.
We did Robert Munch stories as the play that year for youth theatre that year.
I was Angela in Angela's Airplane.
Anyway, it was funny and totally worth it and it might have been in that moment where it first seemed like there would be some potential of being an attractive person at some point.
Because up until that point... I wasn't sure it would ever happen for me. I was too busy being a know-it-all, obnoxious twit who just pined around all the time for babes... well, one babe.
(I sort of miss that sort of certainty and single-mindedness.)
But anyway, so it was forever later when I took my lip-ring out occasionally that I even knew what kissing was like without it. Strange.
Also, in that time period I went to raves. And wore silly outfits and danced. And smoked weed way before I drank. It was more accessible, that's all.
And I've worn the lip ring off and on for years and years. I hid it from my teachers in college as we were not allowed to have piercings. It never seems to close up but I can't spurt water across the room anymore, so that really sucks.
That was the main reason why I got it.
That Deer came over this afternoon, we drank some juice and played with some kittens. Talked about babes and relating and art-making. Things are good and getting better between us.
I am friends with so many people I've been involved with. It's kind of nuts, actually. I think that might actually be the only way I make friends.
It kind of is though.
I may not date people for any length of time, but I think I'm quite good at choosing really lovely people to add to my life. I do tend to expect too much of people though. Obviously, of course.
I like knowing everything about everyone all the time.
Facebook is strange in how much information you get off there. I always feel very strangely about when my news feed tells me things about people's relationships.
You can make it so that it doesn't say anything, you know.
Or you can have it say "it's complicated" forever like I do. Because it always will be, I bet, so it's kind of true.
I recommend listening to Bells sung by Buffy Sainte-Marie and Take This Longing sung by Leonard Cohen together.
They are versions of the same song but somehow together I feel like they're even more lovely.
Two of my very favourites.
It has suddenly become 3:30 in the morning and I feel self-concious.
Posts
