niagaraaaaaaaa

Guys I bet you're wondering how my road trip went!
Well, it started out by me doing a good job on packing, see above.
Actually we didn't even drink the champagne because I got too tired. hahaaa classssic.


ROAD TRIP!!
I lovelovelove roadtrips. you can't really tell here but I really do. I smiled so much. Peever said, "It's nice to see you this happy". Yeahyeahyeah. Also happy here because Peevs brought me a "playoff gift", this Canucks tuque. Prettypretty nice guy there.




Our first stop was at Peller estates winery for lunch with my old school pal. I hadn't seen this lady in probably 4 or 5 years? Insane! I really missed her and so it was great to hug her up and chat about our lives.

Oh, also we ate SO MUCH great, great food. Peller was great with making all my food both gluten-free aaaand vegetarian. So helpful! So nice!
They even had gluten-free bread so I got to try the ice wine butter. NOM.
(I'm very awkward about all my food requirements and I actually hate and fear eating in most restaurants and so when people are especially nice/accepting/accommodating then I pretty much want to weep with gratitude.)

ughgughguhhh cheese plate.   :) :)

Tourist o'clock!
We actually had so much fun at the falls. I'm not surprised as we are two of the funnest people I've ever heard of, but I think we did an especially good job.

We got an amazing groupon (it was actually from Travelzoo, I believe) for our hotel room and it included
two king bed bedroom (I called window) suite on the 41st floor
cocktails in the evening (not awesome but hey, free drink is a free drink)
$50 Dave & Buster voucher
$40 voucher for either the keg or t.g.i.fridays
breakfast buffet

is that all? I don't remember. Anyway. Good deal!!!


this was the view from our hotel room. jeezily, hey?





Anyway. We did lots of things! We did Dave & Busters (won some sweet prizes!) and went up the Skylon tower and bowled and wandered around were complete tourists. So nice.





making it rain tickets we won at Dave & Busters! (we actually got so few prizes for that amount of tickets!)


I think these views are from the skylon tower? probably!



I was very, very excited and bent-set on riding the skywheel. It was nice.


Hotel room:

I put all the pillows on one bed. Obviously!


Jacuzzi tub -- if I could have just stayed a bit longer I probably would have lived in there. We had three sinks. God knows why but I for sure used them all just because.


Breakfast! Not bad not bad.

Maid of the mist looked a bit scary to ride on. Ragdoll, I think Peevs said about it.

Skylon tower photoshoot.

I'm not mad here, I've just got a lot of sun in my eyes!

Sigh sigh so pretty.

I started getting a bad cold in the evening, which was a bit of a piss-off but it wasn't the worst. I did get a bit grumbly, though.
And in the morning I was pretty grouchy but I'm getting better (a bit) at not being the worst grumbliest human and also peevs is good about being patient and for that I'm pretty grateful, gotta say.


this.
this is what we found in the St. Catherines Value Village. ughughghuhghh. An almost full set, even got the gravy bowl and platter and the creamer and sugarer! nice nice!


Also found this sweeeet Canucks shirt. Because I like sports paraphernalia now, I guess.


Anyway. If all romantic vacations are this fun then I guess I'd go on more.
Yeah, for sure I would.

Okay I leave you with this most nerdy picture. I apologize! (jk I don't)

need an improv sponser doesn't seem that hard someone give me money thankyouuu

guys guys guys guys guys guys.
I wish I had unlimited money! remember how sometimes people basically just buy themselves careers and success? I wish that was me!
buy me some improv shows and some feature films and some tv shows to be in!
I'll pay you in awkward HJs if you want them?
("it doesn't have to be awkward"
"yes it does, you obviously haven't met me")



I wish I had unlimited funds so I could just do improv and all other comedy all day long and take every workshop and make bffs with everyone and then get to be the boss of it right quick like I want in my heart. YA KNOW?
I have no patience for the part of doing something where I'm not good at it yet. That's the problem with thinking that you're smart! you have no patience for not being smart at something! ughguguuhhh. this is why I'm only half good at everything except acting which I basically am only half-good at because have you ever seen me do shakespeare? DIDN'T THINKSO. (not that I couldn't, though because I could don't worry)


(hahahaa I love this picture so much I make such a good petulant child. cast me as that.)

We had an improv show last night. My conservatory class, I mean. Our last one of Con 2. I've been at this shit for four months now I guess! that's a bit!
I'm feeling way way good about it. Maybe not about my actual realtime work right today but what's going to happen when it's the future and I'm the best. I think it's possible that I will become awesome at improv/comedy in general.
why?
a) I'm smart (really, meredith, really you think you're smart? huh, I never would have guessed.)
b) I'm getting good at characters and soon I'll be good at being bigger and uglier and more specific and voices!
c) I love it
d) I'm cute in the face but in a way that lends itself well to being ugly funny


here we are at pho. the lady friend is not in our con class, she's in the one that's just ending now and I went to their show and they fucking killed it and our final show in June (family, book your plane tickets) is going to be that good too so get ready.
but yeah, us three are all saskatchewan-born. though both of them lived in alberta for bits of time. But when she's home in North Battleford at Christmastime I'm going to drive out and visit her to go thrift shopping that'd be so funny.



Does anyone actually care if I use their real names on here anymore? Probably not if you're a comedian all you want is to have everyone know your name and whether or not I think you're funny.
This dude is one of my favourite classmates (along with the other 9) and he heard I said "I'd rather die" than get with him and now this is my favourite joke and I think now he wants to prove otherwise. hahahaaaa people don't like it when you say you'd rather die.




now here he is kissing my fingers and it made me very very uncomfortable! and squeamish and giggly... ooo maybe I wouldn't rather die...........
(yes I would)

hahahahaha see what I mean about my face? Problematic!


also it's annoying to have such an asshole face like mine which is the most transparent thing and I can't even make jokes in peace sometimes. nah, just kidding, my face is whatever it's on me so I'll deal with it
(no but really, can someone buy me a chin?)





this one is so dreamy and foggy I love it so much. we look like tv sisters! you know like where they make one blonde and one redheaded? hey prove that we aren't related! #donorbabyjokes


guys I'm not even in that good of a mood right now but I can't stop writing like I am. maybe it's the leftover pho I had for breakfast and now I have msg poisoning and I'm going to die. Probably.


HA, look at our proportional wine bottles! god damn that tiny wine bottle is so handy, it's so me-sized. and portable!

YEAH, SO. this one part of my life is really good. and everything else is feeling okay though we have a couple of issues with the pact, I think the pact is still for the best. It's keeping me aware of what I'm actually wanting. mostly. kind of. when I'm sober.

Now somebody hire me and give me some money or somebody cast me in something super high-paying and life will be fucking so sweet I'll fall over and kiss your tiny tiny toes.

Also, Christmas is coming!

pissing in the wind, painting white on white, and I'll beat a dead horse back to life

Getting older is cool I guess because maybe you figure out how to react better to situations and know what you're getting yourself into and are a bit more prepared for shit. So I hear?
Nah, I do feel like I'm getting a bit more realistic and smarter about things.



I just read a missed connection from Hoops in North York and Carla Ghee and I have been talking lots about how many missed connections we will get all summer long.
I feel like everyone's kind of off the missed connections train? Like for a bit there I heard lots about them but these days it seems fewer?



Remember when I had my very own missed connection?

ha, I just searched my blog for "missed connection" and found this gem from 2k8 talking about a babe I saw:

I would put a missed connection add up EXCEPT
a) I've seen Ghost World
b) I shouldn't even be allowed to date
and
c) I've decided not to pursue babes anymore. Which, of course, means that I'm never going to get any because boys are giant sucks and never push anything and I am the one who pushes everything and people that do pursue me are never the ones that I want (who do I want though, really?).
But seriously though, babes need to put in effort.


good to know that things have changed so much in the past few years. :\
ha!


Hmmm a quick search of my blog reveals that I never said that much about that missed connection other than it was a real one.


I was wearing this top that day, though. if that helps.


Now it's been long enough that I can talk about it! Coooool! I like this part. Even though it's not a great story and I mostly look bad. But still. Also cool because
a) I don't know him or see him in any way anymore
b) who cares

anyway, I went on a date with that missed connection. Let's call him Connie (short for connection, obvs).
I actually hung out with him a few times over a couple of weeks there.
He was kind of lovely, though just out of a huge long-term thing (ha, I should rent myself out as a rebound), and he was quite grumbly for such a young guy. Sort of a curmudgeon and a bit of a snot about things.
Really particular about his coffee and his scotch and his food and everything in his life. A bit of a stick-in-the-mud. Funny for someone with sleeves of tattoos and baby-face.

Also, he played guitar and sang and was working with an experimental band because he said that just writing a regular song on guitar was "too easy"...
to which I replied "probably the song is not good enough, then" (filled with tact, I am)

I think he was into the idea of being a good boyfriend-type, which is such a bizarre thing in my life. But we did have some good brunches and dates and ate gelato in the park and stuff.
and once he sent me a text that said "you're quite cute you know"
aww.

but I didn't really care. I wanted to because it was such a good story, but we didn't actually care about each other.

And so when the opportunity arose to skip town with someone I was invariably hung up on, I just went and didn't think twice.

so that was then end of that.

I'm meant to be doing some writing right now. I opened up all the files and everything. And I've got a new idea that I need to decide even what it's going to be. I think a play or a short. I've never really written a play, but I have a big desire to do one soon and I'd like to write it, too.
Might as well, since I'm not tooo busy.
You can be in it too, if you'd like.

my mind changes so quickly I can't ever be right

Went with Miss Lindeman to her show on Saturday night. We didn't stay late at all. I love Miss Lindeman very much and she has a new album coming out which I would be will be wonderful and I've heard some of the songs off it..mmhmm.



Everyone is sad these days, it seems.
Myself included, though I have to say, I feel like how much I've been going out has not been a bad thing, necessarily. Sort of like I'm beating off the winter blues by refusing to acknowledge that I should be hibernating. Like we're grouping together and drinking beer and laughing until we fall over because otherwise we'll freeze in place.

I know I've said it before, but, if throughout my life I manage to have even half the amount of wonderful perfect friends I have now then I will count myself over-lucky.



Ha, the other night one of my buds (who is older and committed) was like 'I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend, why don't you have a boyfriend?' and then he said, 'you gotta settle down, it's the best'
This is pretty much bullshit, and pretty rude and condescending under the guise of being compassionate and helpful. He's sort of like that, wants to give advice and tell you what to do. Which is funny because he has his own spotty record in terms of relationships. He's still lovely and everything, but stuff like that gets to me.



Like society doesn't do enough on its own for making anyone single feel nuts and panicked.
And feeling nuts and panicked seems to me like the ultimate way to get yourself into a shitty situation. It's the best way to consider people you know aren't right. It also leads to breaking your own heart by getting worked up about all possibilities and pinning your hopes on idiots.
Actually, pinning anything on anyone.



And I'm still of the opinion that being with the wrong person would be way lonelier than being alone.

And, also, it's silly to make it seem like being single was all up to me. Hmmm.

I'm not officially off BabeBreak, which I guess means by default that I'm on it still.
But I'm feeling very differently about it than I did right after Christmas. Or even before Christmas.
(reasons whyfor BabeBreak this time around are here)



I think Christmas (and then this awful part of the year right after Christmas) can be very hard. Christmas is stressful and overwhelming and it's an awkward time to be alone. Even if you are normally not lonely, or not even currently lonely. The time of year and other people can trick you into thinking it's lonely. Especially if your 19 year old brother is bringing his girlfriend to Christmas and at 26 you've still never had a relationship anywhere near that serious.

I wish I hadn't gotten it into my head that maybe I am holding myself back from finding true love. That by not admitting to wanting a relationship, by not actively seeking one, then of course I wasn't going to fall in love, ever.

So then I said I officially wanted a relationship.
Ugh. I'm sensitive to phrasing things.



I don't want a relationship for the sake of having a relationship. If something comes along that makes my already funtimes more fun, then we can talk. But I don't want that to be a priority in my life-- seeking something out, always looking for what's possible and not enjoying what I have.

I'd like to fall in love someday, but if it's not right away then I can't really care. I'm not going to stop being good at being single in hopes that it makes me more able to fall in love or some other bullshit.

Obviously, I go back and forth on this a lot. Don't we all?



My BabeBreak slip-up a couple of weeks ago was actually purely an accident, not planned at all I mean. I ended up making out with this dude I vaguely know in the back of the bar in kind of an obnoxious way.
But it doesn't matter, that's the best part!

It was so fun and it doesn't matter. I have no interest in said dude and he for sure feels the same, and it's just dumb and fun and rather lovely to make out for no reason.
The problem is that you can rarely find a situation where both people just think it's fun. Usually someone is taking it seriously.
And I find myself taking it seriously when I really shouldn't. And I also find that I have a harder time separating sex from emotion, and ideally I guess I'd like for them to go together. Which is why I really don't sleep with that many people (TMI? probably, but it's honesty which I appreciate most in other people's writings).



I do think that I have not acted properly in the past. I think I do need to be more careful. And it does sometimes get to the point where I feel like any dude is a possibility that should be thought about.
And so taking a minute away from babes to clear my head about things is not a bad idea.
"I forget how to be sweet to people and how to stop being defensive and rude."
I think that is still true and I think I accept less than I deserve sometimes.

But in terms of people getting warned that I'm too much drama, or thinking that themselves... Ha, that's just kind of pointless. They're probably right, then.
And maybe my idea that maybe women frequently are thought of by men in two categories (people they would date and people they would have sex with) is maybe a bit true, but also bullshit in terms of a person to person basis.

Fucking fight for me.
You know?

So in terms of whether or not I'll keep on break? I'm just hoping to stop pushing to see what I can get and what I can get away with. And I'm hoping to stop wishing for what I don't even really want.



Haaaaaa, yes, let's end with a weird-eyed picture of me waiting in Aunties? Perfect.

Also, the pictures above of the puppy and Prune are at Prune's place where there was a remarkable amount of wine and cake on Saturday night. Exactly the type of place I like to be.