pictures of me on the beach and of my (unrelated) wounds!

Guys guys guys guys yeah so I had to go to the hospital yesterday! I feel like I'm always at the hospital for one thing or another?



Remember when I passed out at Skydome during Yankee weekend in the middle of all those crowds and then the golf-cart ambulance had to come pick me up then a real ambulance then I got taken down on a stretcher through the bowels of the Skydome through parts I'd never seen before then at the hospital they never did find anything wrong with me and I walked home and on my way Carnathan texted and I met up with him at some pizza place or something and he was like "are you drinking diet coke? because I think you could drink regular coke if you want to" which was extra funny because he already reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.

Aaaanyway. So Ruth Buzzi and I got into an altercation the other night involving another cat who'd gotten into the apartment. While I was trying to remove the other cat Ruth Buzzi sank her teeth and claws into my leg in a batshitcrazy way I have experienced very rarely from any cat.
Multiple cat-teeth wounds!

And so it turns out that cat bites are notoriously bad for getting infected and mine certainly did. I didn't take a picture of it when it was the worst on Sunday but I didn't want to go to emerg on a Sunday night and then have the pharmacies not even be open until Monday morning and my mum said it was okay to wait. Although, I'm fairly certain she didn't believe me how bad it was (I am always a whiner).

Here are pictures I took just now. The infection is definitely going away. It's funny how you can see it. You can maybe still make out the lines the doctor drew around it yesterday. For awhile I was watching it streak out from there and it was super creepy. Wounds are neat, kind of.

this side isn't as bad, just impressive scratches.
I went to the urgent care centre at Women's College Hospital, it's like a medium between the ER and a walk-in. I recommend it, though I was waiting in that room by myself in a sexy hospital gown for a good two hours.
The doctor was super nice and pretty worried about it so that made me feel better for having come. I have a fear of wasting doctors' time. Is that weird? And the nurses were super nice, too. They even let me pick which butt-cheek I got the antibiotics injected into! Neat!
So, yeah, I also have an antibiotics prescription, so everything should be ookay soon.

Here are some more pictures of me on the beach:


Who wants to go to the island with me?
If you're sexy and we go to the island clothing optional beach I will take my top off.
But not if you're Cpt. Heh and you're just trying to get naked all the time for no good reason and then I have to cover my face in embarrassment!
hahahaaaaaaaa I have more photos of all of us having the best fun timez but right now I have to go to brunch. It's been so long since I've been to Aunties I almost forgot it exists (by which I mean, about 2 weeks)!

the future is full of kinks

Went to pick up JL from the doctor today as he had day surgery and was put out for it and I am his best (most reliable) friend.
Coming out of the anesthetic JL says to one of the nurses:

"Hey, have we met yet? We should go somewhere to talk once this shit wears off."


I have been laughing about this for approximately 4 hours now.
Perfect in pretty much every way.



Yeah Dollface drove us and she and I got booster juices but not one for JL because we're selfish and the nurse made fun of us.

Then JL got some pills from the pharmacy vending machine in the lobby and I was wowed because we now live in the future except it's not the future anymore it's now.

I took pictures of the vending machine put putting shitty point-and-shoot narrative shots up beside dslr self-timer glamor shots of me really just doesn't seem right.



There was a guy with the vending machine who helped us through the process I guess the vending machine isn't quite independent yet. The guy was super nice and friendly and we had lots of time to chat because the vending machine has a few kinks to be worked out and he ended up telling us about when him and his friends went camping in bellwoods and drove their trucks into the bowl(???) but then they got cold and went home. WTF? Amazing story.



There's actually a few stories that I've been laughing about pretty much all day but a couple of them involve farting and I don't think they translate well.
I'm still laughing about I call muffins donuts, though. No one else? Really?



When I was little after dinner I was allowed to have dessert which was usually
1 wagon wheel
or
3 cookies
or
1 cupcake
or
5 of those toffee eclair candy things
or
small dish of ice cream
or
you know, whatever else we had in the house.
Anyway, one time there wasn't much for dessert and I was pitching a fit and my mum said
"Nowhere is it written that one gets to have dessert"
And so (obviously) I went off and wrote a list of things I got to have in order that she should never get to say that again.



I like stories about me being a clever child especially these days as it becomes clearer and clearer that I am nowhere near as smart as I think I am.

In fact that will be the name of my autobiography:
Nowhere Near As Smart As I Think I Am: The Meredith R. Mistletoe Story

author photograph:


No need to back me up on this one, thanks guys.


I never get around to properly throwing anything out so obviously plants I get that die just get put on shelves in the dark and now look, tiny sprouts from these bulbs!



I'm super-impatient for them to be real plants! My mum says they probably won't be anything much this time around but I have faith in them! Grow, little guys!



There's that strange bundle of nails there beside them, the roofers left them in my windowsill and so I took them inside. I think they're kind of pretty? Or I'm just lazy about getting rid of them?




Good thing the sun still shines through my sticky-out ears.


I'm in love with the dreary grey sort of day it's being out there mainly because I have nothing that neeeeds to be done and it's warm in here and Ruth Buzzi is twitching in her sleep beside me and life is kinda a-okay right now.


I really didn't mean for these photos to also make it look like I wasn't wearing any clothes. Win some lose some.

I will not take my vision for granted (for a few days at least)

Guess who has a scratched cornea?
If you guessed me then you are correct and very smart!

It is so hard to do anything when you can't see. It's so hard. I never want to go blind. Pretty much ever.

It happened at 4 in the morning yesterday and so I just went to sleep because I did not feel like dealing with it. It was still bad this morning though, so I spent the afternoon in emergency.. Funtimes!

I'll update about it later with photos and stuff. Not of my cornea though, luckily.

Right now I'm trying to make my eye stop hurting enough to go walk the dog. Almost there!



It should be better by tomorrow, even.
If not I have to go back to the hospital and who even wants that?? Not this guy.
Plus there's a work party I need to go get messy at and also it's Sunday and that means Dakota, obviously.



Sucks that I had to miss work but I look like hell and can't really function.. so.. you know.

I kind of think I deserve a treat so maybe I will buy myself something exciting on my way to Dollface's... I'm not sure what it'll be but hopefully it is tasty.



p.s. I wrote most of this entry with my eyes closed, with surprisingly few mistakes