I guess today is where I talk about sex.
Well, not really. Well, except we went to Shoppers and I decided to buy condoms (responsibility!!!!). Then we got distracted by all the other things we could buy to do with sex.
Not to be a 10 year old or anything but that product is called ASTROGLIDE!!!
How awesome is that? I want to have sex all the time if it's anything like the name ASTROGLIDE implies. That sounds fun! That sounds like space! That sounds like adventure!
Does AstroBoy use Astroglide??
And even better is the Life version, Easy Glide ... way, way less fun. Sounds like a windshield wiper or something.
I spent about 27 minutes trying to figure out if there was a difference between these two types of condoms
I concluded that one had a heat-ray-photo of hot passion and one did not. Therefore I bought the one that did not because I am into safe ordinary things, like the missionary position and not too many colours.
Speaking of terrifying things: Why are there so, so many different kinds of warming lube? There were SO MANY. In case you were wondering, I do not like warming lube I do not want it anywhere near me, just bear that in mind if you're ever trying to have sex with me (oh when are you not?).
These gadgets are strange, too:
If you just can't commit to going and buying an actual sex tox/vibrator/etc, you can just hit up Shoppers and get a disposable one.
20 minutes? Like having deadlines? I know I work better that way. If you come very quickly you might even be able to use it twice! Three times??!?
GO FOR IT I BELIEVE IN YOU.
We tried to figure out the differences. All made me feel weird, weird nub one, werid pointing one, weird ring one that made me think of RingPops (fav candy mmm candy)...
ohhh the pointing one is for use alone OR with a partner.
Bet my mum is glad she tuned in for today's entry!!!
Oh my good lord I have two really funny ideas of what to go as for Hallowe'en. V V V funny. I think since I have different parties to go to on different night (soooo pop) that I might go as both and I'm not going to tell you what they are. Even though I want to SO badly.
Oh so, so badly.
But I think with pictures will be even better. Right?
oh yeah, the show last night was fun. I sang and danced and no one told me about how bad I was so, Success!
Now I have all the songs stuck in my head. But that's okay. Especially since I want to sing with them again sometime. There were so, so many people onstage. I don't even know how many. Around a tonne probably.
I looked pretty. These tights are so hot, they are thigh-highs with a tiny bit of red at the top - matched my outfit. clothes sigh.
I WANT TO BE A ROCKSTAR STILL.
No denying.
More pictures later maybe, though there was no light, so they're all kind of pointless.
Just like this blog!
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