how do you say...

I was making fun of my mum's saying "coming across" some more and so she was like "what do you call in these days, then?" and I thought about it started listing off
doing it
having sex
sticking it in 'er
putting out
putting in
tapping that
hitting that
getting that shit wet
Needless to say she told me to shut up.

Pauvre, Pauvre Mama, she should've had a different, more classy, daughter.


Does anyone else think of a steaming pile of poo when they hear the phrase "hot mess"?


Went to Raymi's art show last night.
I showed up drunk, as per usual.


And it turns out I can't really operate a camera without my druthers.
Hahah that's doesn't make sense even.
Oh look, they're having soooo much fun:




You don't say!:

I WILL NOT BE BOUND OR RESTRICTED I AM ALWAYS IN MOTION


Guess What??!!??!?
I finally, finally met Steph! We've been meaning to be more than just (internet) friends for awhile now, and finally our dreams came to realization.
She's very tiny.
Tinier than she seems on TV. And by TV, I mean the internet. She also didn't manage to get properly photographed (by me). So I can't show you. She's very cute though. If you like that sort of thing. Which I don't.

It's raining! And this just serves me right because I was going on about how I love the rain but since I was totally planning on biking to faraway lands today, it just effed me over.
Whatever. I'm going to go for a walk and stuff!

I had a dream last night where I realized that I was kind of depressed. And then I woke up and realized I am kind of depressed.
I can tell I'm getting down when I am not eating properly and when I am not drinking any water (normally I drink at least 3 liters a day but I haven't even touched my water bottle in a days, the only water I've consumed has been at restaurants or to wash down my pain killers).
I can tell because there's good fruit in the fridge that I haven't touched and I refuse to buy groceries, instead I go hungry or make people bring me chocolate bars.
And I can tell because my house is messy. And because I am lethargic and catch myself staring at the wall for an awkwardly long time. And because I keep wanting to weep.

Guess it's time to get up get myself up quit being a baby or something.

My life is great, etc.

Although I will say, I am ready to book another gig.
And I'm ready for people to quit asking me if I have something lined up.

sniffle cough snivel whine

I'm typing one-handed.
But in the loveliest way because there is a curled up purring-kitten weighing down my one arm.
What a loveliness.


So. I need to get a second job, probably. I'm laziness.
In the nicest way.
I love my slovenly lifestyle.
I love having little to do besides stalk babes or lie around with cats or watch Rick Mercer Report or go to see rock bands.

Today for instance, went for lunch at Salad King (yum. We maybe didn't take as much advantage of how you can colour on their menus as we should have but still)




and shopped in the mall (Aldo sells grips for the bottoms of your soles, if you need, for $6. not bad, maybe my new boots will be wearable. I totally canned myself when my foot slipped from my pedal as I was biking the other day. yeouch.) and at The Bay.
I have kind of a weird affection for The Bay since I worked there for one Christmas. They were a pretty good employer, and I just sort of liked that store.
I came close to buying a diamond ring (and by 'diamond' I mean 'fakeskies') but then I remembered how I'm not buying anymore ridiculous cheap costume jewelery.
I do seriously need some silver rings though, I'm tired of all my rings turning all colours and then breaking.

I WANT SPARKLY DIAMONDS.

Anyway! Then I went to the beer store. And then I went by the ice cream place where I traded my friend a beer for an ice cream. Except I didn't give her the beer until she'd left the building because it's illegal to have alcohol in your workplace. Obviously.

The weather has been kind of fantastic.
I visited that same friend at ice cream yesterday while I did my laundry and it was kind of lovely to sit outside on such a quintessential autumn afternoon.
Aaaand I bought myself some samosas aaaaand a pumpkin spice latte.
I've been feeling like treating myself to the world the past couple of days because I have a bad cold (still) and cramps and my stomach's been upset and I have messy moods.
I deserve everything good in the world.

But did you catch the part where I said about how I did my laundry?? totally went out and was productive yesterday!
Congratulations to me.

Okay. I think I'm going to go to Raymi's art show now. Because I like art!
And mostly booze.
And I want to stalk up on Steph who I still have never met in real life and that SEEMS VERY SILLY.

I AM VERY BUSY WRITING IN MY PRIVATE BLOG I AM WRITING ABOUT SSSSECRETS

i blame my laziness on this

art party party party pARTy

Having company while I work on my computer is not a bad thing



My friend thinks she's getting her cat back at some point but she might be wroooong.

I think this is a good idea though, to just have temp-cats. Seems like there'll always be people who need me to look after their kittehs for a bit.

So. Nuit Blanche.

For the third year in a row I managed to see very little art. Actually, I think I've seen less and less art every year.
I feel like the first year was the best, anyone? It was the most interactive and hands on fun-times. I spent most of it in Trinity-Bellwoods (actually I've spent every year in that park) and it had tents filled with art and things you could touch and there was the swimming and lights show at the pool... it just seemed more magical and rad.
This year I just wandered a bit and then ended up settling in the park on a bench by the tennis courts with some people I really like. And partying there. It was nice to watch people go by and some of my friends came for a minute to say hello. And there wasn't any pressure to see anything or appreciate anything or get to certain places or wrangle people.

Maybe I'm missing the point of the night and art show, but I just like the energy in the air and just trying to have fun.
And drink a lot of wine.
Because art goes with wine like me with kittehs.

My friend from Saskatoon ended up being in town for Saturday night and she came and partied with me! I was surprised mostly people wiener out of things it seems, but she fully came and partied down. I try to pour as much wine down her throat as possible.

When I was meeting my friend I told her "You'll know me by my 'art appreciation hat' aka beret" but then it turned out she was wearing one too. You know why?
Because we're artists.


yay art!

This guy made his own art, he kept showing his chest and yelling SPRING BREAK which was pretty awesome, then he got my friend to write it on his chest, to further his point.

For my art project I climbed to the top of the fence and took a picture. I was very careful so I didn't fall.

That's my friend writing Spring Break and that guy squealing with laughter about it.




tennis party

here I am being creeped up on.

he knocked me off the tennis fence. probably on purpose

hahah that's not how you dance.





I didn't end up staying out til dawn but that was probably for the best.... And I probably could've done to see more art. But still still funtimez for me.

Rudyard comes to town

oh bloggy, guess what?

new addition to the household. Her name is Sleater-Kinney but I have trouble with names other people give to things so while she is here she is called Rudyard Kitling!
She is sssssssickeningly cute. Like totally barf-worthy, prettiest face and kitteny body and she is soft as moccasins. For realz.
She's so cute it's almost like she must be part android or something. Gross.






Nice time evening, gotta say:
kitten + eating way too much good food + babe + peppermint tea + watching my so-called life = pretty much the best life ever

Except I'm sick. Why does everyone in the world have colds and now me too? Third cold since the end of August!


tomorrow I will blog about Nuit Blanche but right now I'm going to sleep. Because I have not had enough of that lately. At all.

party til dawn! hopefully.

I always end up wienering out of events with a lot of anticipation to them.
Oh, except Christmas.

"Do you feel excited that it's cold and you can see your breath and that means that Christmas is soon?"
"IT IS SOON IT'S SO SOON, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW"

I bet I'll end up home in bed by 2 a.m. tonight instead of partying it down like a real champ. No, I will make a concerted effort to have fun. If you are also nuit-blanching then you should meet up with me and then we do make some sort of "art" together. Or at least hump. I think we will be in the west end most likely I'll probably just be following my friend around like a lost puppy except cuter.
I have to avoid having a stomachache because I think that's what killed my night last year.

I also think it should be warmer out. Or I should dig out my winter jacket. Yes, I guess I will have to. Tuque!


Hopefully this vid will be processed by the time you go to watch it. I know know you've heard this story already too bad for you.
OH YEAH some language NSFW sort of.



I wwwwwwwant a temp cat!

all i do is blog

BLOG ATTACK.

I'm still nutso, if you were wondering I know you weren't but still!

It's so cold out my fingers are numb but there's no way I'm turning the heat on. I'm not a quitter like that.

Here you go it's a funny story for you or something:


I cannot cannot decide what to listen to I do not want to hear anything all music is over-rated.
Suggest albums for me!

OH SPEAKING OF WHICH:
I found out who's been sending me creepy postcards. It's this guy. Who I thought it was but he wouldn't say it was him.
Thank god.
It's kind of a nice idea it's just weird when the postcards are creepy.
The last one especially weirded me out because it was a dumb poem I myself had written and signed by my name just like how I used to sign it.
Kind of neat. I GUESS.

EW I feel ill. Maybe naptimez. Or lying around whinging timez.

e-bow the letter x 10000000

HEY GUESS WHO HAS E-BOW THE LETTER ON REPEAT?

probably the same person who got into the wine (srsly who keeps all the ingredients for sangria in their kitchens? idiots, that's who).

SIGH SIGH SIGH

SIGH SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGH SSIGH SIGH SIGH SSSSSSSIGHHHHHH SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH.


I'm going back to having a locked diary!!!!!!!!! Email me if you feel like you deserve/want an invite and also if I'm not boning you which clearly disqualifies you from invitation......


I haven't put out a zine in one billion years and I'm feeling less like a writer than ever. I'm going to do it.
!!!!!!!!!!
Nope.


.......



Been meaning to blog this story because it's distant enough I feel like I can:

Two summers ago I was friends with people I had worked on student films with (still am, in theory, some of my besties, even) and we were all kind of close and partied-all-the-time together in lovely ways, especially late nights. And there was this time where this band from Victoria came to stay with my friends in a house near my house. And during this time I was introduced to this band and ended up hanging out with them. During this hang-out the singer and I ended up dancing together at The Boat and ended up holding hands under the table at New Ho King (his instigation, not mine own, if memory serves) and we ended up walking home through back alleys and other fun routes. And there were sword fights with cardboard tubes in the lanes... And I ended up back at friend's house until dawn at which point I asked said babe if he'd like to walk with me and said yes and we ended up at my house at which point he kissed me a whole bunch and I said "would you like to come inside for a bit?" and he said "I have a girlfriend" and I was surprised and disappointed but also... I don't know... it made sense. But he came inside anyway. And we made out but I wouldn't actually "come across" (as my mother would say) because there are different degrees of infidelity... anyhow then we were myspace friends and I didn't really think about him.
UNTIL the other day at Sweaty Betty's with Dollface and co. I couldn't place this dude... and then when I had placed him I couldn't remember his name....... ahahahahha this world is too small!
And THEN it turns out he goes to school now with my BFF!
And THEN I saw him today at a coffee shop. I feel like I should say "hello" because it's kind of silly not to.
Oh man this world. So so tiny. Like the smallest little sno-globe.

Hahah E-Bow the letter has played 9 times now.

raspberries travel in formation

Okay my fingers are still numb and I got home at least 15 minutes ago. Ouch the cold rain and the wind! And it was definitely not that cold when I left home this morning...
BUT
I stopped by Big Chill and picked up some vanilla ice cream and now I am eating apple crisp (heated up obviously) with too much ice cream!
OH YES.

Also I had had brunch at aunties today (omg I need to get a life) and we had peach crisp pancakes for desert. YES.

Also it was decided that my high-fives are hit or miss.



OMG I'M SO KEYED UP ON CAFFEINE. I should not be allowed to have coffee. I haven't been drinking it except at aunties and then I have way too many cups and get insane and shaky and jittery and also I think I'm hormonal or some other nonsense because I'm feeling kind of clingy/needy/intense.
VERY ATTRACTIVE BABES LIKE ME VERY MUCH.

I very much wanted to say "amped up" there but I used it recently to mean turned on and now I can't use it like usual right now but it's still a good phrase. So is JACKED UP because it's like when you jack up a car to change its tires and stuff.
oh lord I can't type too much focus and my fingers still hurt from being numbsies.

After I posted about wanted to do something funtimez yesterday my friend said "let's go do something funtimes" she had been waiting for me to post a blog so that she would know if I was around or not. how perfect!
So she came by and then we went and visited ice cream friend and then we went to King's Cafe and ate SO MUCH FOOD. But they forgot to put pineapple in our Tom Yang rice which was disappointing but still alright. Still funtimes.

oh yeah my friend won't let you photograph her face great blog friend. srsly.

poor icecream friend, no one comes to visit her it's way too cold for that shit.

the best part about that photo is that you can see my new earrings which are sort of like Christmas balls but also pearls and also with a ring of diamonds around the top. SIGH. So pretty.


Then we went to our friends' house where they were just moving in and we bought a 2 litre bottle of wine (yes I do too mean 2 liter not 1.5) called DRAGANI (or something) and helped them put together their new beds they just bought at ikea. My one friend had put together a bunch of his bed wrong very disappointing. I feel like I'm going to blame it on how many drugs he smokes. No but really. Come on now.





I hope I actually hang out at that house a bunch because it seems like it would be fun. And I really like those dudes. Babe-town.

HAHaha Dollface said about how at her restaurant the other night she served a "bable" (table of babes).

I spend too much time at Aunties. I feel like they owe at least 50% of their business to me. It's sort of like how I only like going to see bands that I know, I only like eating at restaurants that feel like they belong to me in some ways.
Nice I like how DF told me that my hair looked "voluminous" but really it was just sticking out weird. Thanks!


hahahahahah look at him in the background made fun of him so hard. I love my earrings so much. also nice boobs I know thanks.


he finally went back to eating his lunch.




It really was kind of pretty out today I love grey weather it is just also so painfully cold.




OH YEAH I'M ALSO GOING TO GET ANOTHER TEMP CAT!
Take that mouse I saw the other day after not seeing a mouse in forevers.

politics!

This comes to you via Sass.
It deserves this re-post.

you think you're loving but you don't love me

Oh geez can't stop eating guacamole and rice crackers and goat cheese. Life is good.

Guess who spent around a billion dollars yesterday??
I got a whole lot of things I've been needing! Four pairs of new jeans/pants! Including two for work! Yayaayyay.
I also bought new boots (!!!) which, it turns out, have absolutely no traction... And leggings and earrings and a scarf and a shirt for work and a brown cardigan and fun times!

Didn't mean to go out last night but ended up going to the east end with my friend for his sister's birthday. The east end is like a whole other town. It's an adventure to go out there. And I'm down for adventures. The sister was drinking these horrible-seeming drinks that tasted and looked like blue freezies. I was assured they're called "porn stars" which makes them even worse.
We ate cake!!! Goddamn it sugar is my favourite thing.
In fact I think I'm going to go polish off the rest of the apple crisp.......


I don't have to go to work today or tomorrow and I love it. But I'm being lazy. Accomplishing nothing.
Hmmm. I kind of feel like wrapping some Christmas presents. I also kind of feel like doing absolutely nothing at all.

I'm taking a lot more pride in my household these days. I love it when it's clean (ish) and easy to enjoy. I love the light in this room and all of my pretty things. I think having nice things is important and it's part of caring for myself. I think I might be finally over living like a teenager...
Now if only I could get the rest of my life in order.


Pretty interested in how CTV has a lot of their shows up on their website for me to watch whenever I'm feeling like it. My one problem with it is how they play the exact same commercial between every clip. UGH. Just change it up.

Anyhow. I just watched Grey's Anatomy... which I'm not sure I even watched the end of last season of.
I'm not very into TV these days. I am, but only when I have a spare moment.

But man I feel grossly close in annoyingness of personality to that Meredith. She is such a whiney whiney brat who is constantly wienering on about the same old patterns repeat repeat repeat why can't I love Derek why can't I be happy I'm a dark person why can't I work things out with Derek I'm scared of loving Derek I'm scared of not loving Derek and also wah wah wah wah.

I feel like I do a lot of the same things. Wiener around. Get excited. Get certain. Change my mind.
How boring! Except if you are me, in which case it's just intense, epic, and ultimately, disappointing.
Poor BFFs having to put up with me. Luckily for you, Weblog, I don't put all of that on you. I've been considering starting a private blog again because I'm not documenting the way I'd like (for posterity and all that).. I'm missing being able to go back through relationships the way I could in my diaryland days.
Not that I regret being tighter-lipped on here. No sir. One of the best decisions I've made. And then I don't look like an idiot all the time.
And because my life goals include being kind and care-taking, I have to decide what's best for the internet not to know about.
Hard work for someone like me who will tell anyone anything all the time.



I've been missing my daycare mum a lot these days. Who knows why. Maybe because I feel sort of gruff with myself in a way I think she would've appreciated. And also when my life gets good I always wish she were around to appreciate it. I think she'd be very very proud of me, but probably wouldn't have said that to me much. And she sure watched a lot of TV, so she'd definitely have seen me.
I had a pretty terrible dream the other night that she didn't really die but instead was alive and living in her same house, by herself, and was pretty much immobile and no one knew she was still alive so no one came to visit and she wasn't into doing things that she used to love like knitting and reading Harlequin Romances and making terribly tacky crafts. She wasn't even watching her soaps.
Anyhow. I don't know what that dream was about, but it wasn't very fun.



I wonder if I'll get around to anything today. I want more cake. And pastries and coffee kind of badly. I want to do something funtimes but I can't think what that would be.

I've been kind of obsessed with this song lately, ever since I watched the video of it when I was at the gym with Dollface...