Especially becoming friends with dudes.
Sometimes I wonder how I've ever done it.
If Dude has a gf, then it is easier, but not by much because then I've got to work around that, convince them both that I don't have designs on him(even if I do). And also people with significant others tend to be way less social and way more lame. And mostly then I end up being friends with the gf too, which is fine.. but girls have weird girl customs and loyalties (that I'm not always up on) and girls feel like girl-talk trumps all and needs be had, it's like as a woman, my loyalties need to lie with the women in my social circle, never with the men.
With my best dudes I tend to never get close with their significants, it gets complicated.
Especially since I have for sure made out with all my most favourite dudes at some point or another.
If Dude and I are both single (hahah when am I not though, seriously) then it's usually based on attraction - one-sided or mutual. So I've got to power through that to make a proper friendship out of it. We all secretly want everyone to be in love with us, so it's hard not to flirt and push things. Also, I love cuddling and having sleep-overs and I love tensions.. but I can't do that with my friends. I should learn that.
I usually just make out with everyone (and maybe date them briefly), then feel irritated with them, push them away, then realize that I miss them and want to be bffs.
I'm healthy.
And dudes love this strategy.
And it sucks that a lot of times friendships aren't that easy. That when I love a dude so much, it's hard to figure out where that line is. Why am I not in love with him, etc..
Especially since I maintain that familiarity is one of the most attractive things to me..
Messiness.
.
It's funny how attraction is not exclusive.
By which I mean, I have a crush on every boy.
And trying to decide to what degree, or to prioritize, is hard work.
But generally I have no patience for babes who have crushes on every girl.. If I am not their favourite then I feel like it's pointless.
But then babes shouldn't have patience with me and my philandering..
But.
So say a group of girls meets a group of boys. There is an odd sort of pressure to choose favourites right off the bat. But then those favourites sometimes (frequently) don't even hold to be true (like when you get a new album and the first song you like off it is usually the first one to annoy you?).
But then you've already gone and made out with the first dude that you met, and when you decide later that, nope, it was the other dude who was actually cool.. then it seems bad, you seem, you know ...
In Saskatoon things are easier. In Saskatoon the dating pool is so limited that you have to date everyone and so no one can be mad or hold grudges because there's just no space for it. There's a limited amount of cool kids and everyone's been in love with everyone else and you know who is who and what is what..
It's almost nicer.
Almost.
But I can't say no to the constant influx of new babes into my life.
Not that it's doing me a whole lot of good, but it's still nice in theory.
And I wouldn't want to be in a relationship that I didn't feel like I could leave just in case there was no one else out there for me.
Oh wait. I don't have issues with being alone.
That's maybe the only thing I don't have issues with.
Grand Analog
The Mark Inside (aw the babies)
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