it's getting too late out!

when will I have time to read my book??

I FORGOT ABOUT READING I LOVE IT FOREVER.

I blame the internet 100% for the lack of novels in my life. Oh, no, wait. 90% and then 10% on the library for charging me a lot fines for keeping their books for months. Now I can never go back there. Library = Indiana.


I just touched up my colour and trimmed my hairs. Too bright of red, hope it fades fast. I'll wash it a lot. I also had a hot bath and shaved my (lower) legs. We'll see if that ever happens again. I cut myself in four places, one place so badly it still hasn't stopped bleeding.
I also did my nails. It's like a beauty salon in here. A mediocre beauty salon.

So, yeah, I survived my outdoor shift tonight - thanks for your concern. I wasn't as cold as I was last time. Meaning I did not feel like I was going to die. I did wear three pairs of pants though, and 7 shirts/sweaters/jackets (including a winter coat).
The uniforms shirts and jackets are green and white but the team colour is red and so if we want to wear extra clothing it has to be black or red. Guess who wore red accessories including scarf and mittens just to look completely like Christmas??
Go ahead, guess!

Then Kaya and I went to Bellwoods and I played on the swings and phone-chatted with my mother while she wandered around. Pretty fun.

I've stayed in the last three nights and I feel very pleased with myself about it. I guarantee this trend will not last. But it's good for me, none the less.



Shit, I'm bad at daily linker already, eh?

How about Priddle Concern on a bus?


Not your style? How about Planet Unicorn???

PLANET UNICORN PLANET UNICORN PLANET UNICORN HEYYY.

walking home through

the late night streets and queen and kensington put me in such a good mood tonight. It is sometimes the best with the quiet and the promise of empty sidewalks and the steady beat of my soles avoiding pavement cracks and unevenesses
strong and free with new tiny running-shoes that feel like absolutely nothing on my feet that feel like freedom for hoping and dancing that feel like a bend and an arch and reach are easy, appropriate.
It's hard not to dance a bit but who can, knowing it would be like some sort of show, obnoxiousness? Well, when the streets are clear with no eyes then maybe just a small hop? A quick pas-de-chat? Maybe.






Nick Rose at the Tranzac not this past weekend, weekend before. Took my cousin -- actually she came into town earlier specifically so we could go to see him. Yes he is that good.


Saw one of Sass's bffs there, and she had brought her mother and her grandmother and they both loved him. How perfect is that? Family affair.

Mrs. and her BF came and we were all sitting together and after his set Nick was standing alone at the bar and Mrs was like "aw he's all alone -- but I guess that's what his songs are about". He did come and sit with us, but then we all ended up leaving at the same time, (to go to my BFF's birthday party) and left him all alone sitting at a big empty table with lots of empty glasses, in the middle of a packed room. I really should have taken a picture of that.




Yes went to BFF's birthday party afterwards, I feel like I should be better friends with all of her friends. She's so busy with law school and the law school pack though, and I have my own partying to attend to... (yes, I realize I still owe you a gift)
It was fun though, and I didn't really talk to many people. Did eat chocolate cake and wonder at how many extremely tall people go to law school. And I do mean extremely tall. I seem to get involved with a great deal of people around 6'4 or 5 (which is too tall and I don't do it on purpose) but these guys were even taller! BFF's BF is 6'7 and there were guys there who were 6'8!
IMPOSSIBLE FEET TALL!!!!
INFINITY FEET HIGH!!!!

We tried to photograph them but they are stealthy like bigfoots. The picture above is my cousin with one of them. She is what, 5'9? So you do the math!!

Hah that reminds me, BFF and I were at another friend's house this weekend perusing their bookshelf and she was "ugh Kurt Vonnegut" and I was like "well he's not as annoying as Tom Robbins" and then she was all "I was just about to say that!"
Ah man, who wants to beef on this one?
To be fair I quite like things about both of those authors but also sometimes everyone should shut-up about them. Also to be fair, I like more than my share of bad books.


I still love this door/house on Palmerston. Who's with me?
I'm not sure if I'd rather live in this house or maybe just live across the street and get to enjoy the house..


Guess What? Kittens








I made money tonight! It will never be enough, but it is something.
Tomorrow I get to work outside at night at the soccer pitch. Could someone please arrange for a miracle to it's a decent temperature and I don't freeze to death? Thank-you!!!

seriously if you know of a job tell me about it.

The sun is coming out for me to walk to work, that's nice. I got this shift last minute. Kind of excited, can't tell you how badly I need work right now.

PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB. DO YOU HAVE A JOB? GIVE IT TO ME!

Had a lovely brunch time with Dollface at Aunties (obviously) today holy breakfast tacos and the one cook is always trying to make them extra special for me since I get them without the chorizo (that's sausage!) on them so he made them with some sauteed red peppers and onions and stuff. Um, yep, pretty right on.
And the banana walnut pancakes for desert were even better than usual kind of crispy ah shit I wish I did not have a wheat intolerance.

Speaking of which, for some reason I decided to eat two donuts at Skydome on Sunday (because they were free and I was hungry) and some days I decide that my wheat intolerance is bullshit and made up.
Well, it really isn't. I was fully wheat-high all afternoon. Felt kinda drunk, you know like after you've had a couple of beers on a patio in the afternoon and you're not fun drunk anymore but just kind of out-of-it and not focusing properly? Yeah that was me.

Then two of my friends came and bought beer from me and one of them was growing new facial hair and it looked kind of pretty bad like patchy and pale and AH MAN am I rude/opinionated about people's facial hair (which is completely unfair considering how no one is ever allowed to have an opinion about my appearance/maintenance in any way.
Anyway I rudely yelled "What's wrong with your face!? Can you please shave your face??"
Uhhh, yuueah. That right there is a perfect example of why I cannot hold a relationship. (joking?)
The best was that my coworker overheard me yell that and she was like "Meredith!!" and then I was like "oh, I know him!" as if that made it okay... I mean, it did make it better, at least I wasn't yelling it at a perfect stranger... but still.

I'm a terrible person.

Next time I'll tell you my soul-patch story(s).


Hahaha oh, also, I haven't shaved my legs since August. I was trying to take a picture for you but it's blonde so it's hard to photograph.
I'm ridiculous.

Okay great now I'm going to be late for work thanks a lot blog town.
Next time I'll write you a pretty entry convincing you of what a lovely and care-taking person I am instead of showcasing my downfalls.

Maybe.

you've got a heavy heart I can feel it when we kiss

I feel like I could do with a really big cry.
I used to love this book called The Soul of the Silver Dog by Lynn Hall. I like Lynn Hall in general, actually, she writes a lot about dogs and horses and teenagers. And she seems to love the name Meredith, it turns up in lots of her stories.
Anyway, it was so heartbreakingly sad like I can't even explain to you. Not to ruin it for you but (totally ruins:) it's about a girl and her show dog and then the show dog goes blind and then she retrains him to compete in agility contest blind!!! And one time her mum moves the furniture carelessly and the silver dog bangs his face and how sad is that???? Oh yeah, and then he dies. I think I wept for about a hundred years.
I feel like I need to read something like that right now to have an excuse to fully cry it out.
Maybe I'll rewatch Dancer in the Dark -- I think I fully woke my mum up at 1 a.m. after watching that movie alone in my room because I was so hysterical.

There's nothing particularly awful right now, just a build up of stressers I think, and being over-socialized and drinking too much.
Oh yes, also my financial situation is quite ridiculous right now and I just realized how all of a sudden I basically have no shifts at work and am up shit-creek with just my hands to push myself along.
Oh jeezily. Story of my life.




Went to a party awhile ago with the Cpt. and co. We stopped at 7-11 to get chips because what kind of party is a party without chips.

The party was held by a babe that I was having a bit of a crush on but I realize now that I just had a crush on him before and that doesn't mean that I still have to. So I don't think I will.


Anyway, I didn't know that many people and the best part was hanging out on the porch judging people's costumes. Oh, yeah, it was a British theme party. Come as your favourite Brit, dead or alive, fictional or real. I just told everyone I was Hermione Grainger. I think I was the only one who found that funny. I should've just said I was the Golden Snitch. That would have been better.
Cpt. Heh went as Picasso (? I think) and he wore a pin that said "I am not an asshole" because Picasso was never called an asshole (? again, yeah I don' t know).

Favourite costume, hands down, Lockness Monster

Who is naturally blurry. Obviously.

Second favourite costume, Oliver Twist. He clutched that king can like it the gruel he so desperately wanted more of.

I refused him chips because he couldn't eat them, that would be out of character.






Yeah, we partied. Oh yeah, and then a whole bunch of people were making out on the porch and none of them were our dear friend (we'll call her:) Accost, which is funny since it's been her thing of late to approach people and kiss them on the mouth (and this murders me).


It was an okay party. I love a good house party like you would not believe and I haven't been to a truly greeat one in awhile. Hoping summer is better for this sort of thing.


What's this? more kitten pictures! What a shock.















(Bright Eyes song lyric for the title)

sometimes I just take links all over the internet!

Little dreamboat, Nunc Scio has been doing a daily "linker" for the past while on his Best Non-Partisan blog, and he's decided to stop doing it in favour of doing better long actual posts.
So I was thinking that maybe I would do my own daily linker and totally rip him off but it's perfect really if he's not going to do it anymore because then I won't look like an asshole copy cat. Anyway. I don't know if it will always be an actual separate post like this one today, but we'll see!
Oh, also, where Nunc's was interesting and worldly and culturally interesting, my linker is going to be a lot of stupid things I find funny and also probably some babes and probably kittens.

First Link: Status Cringe: freshly updated, ready for you to read it. Actively seeking submissions for posts. Any status from Twitter or Facebook that you've seen that makes you shudder a bit. Email them to statuscringe at gmail dot com. Thanks!

Lindsay Lohan and I ordered the same drinks this weekend! Twins!

Tony posted this today and I found it rather wonderful:

Nyle "Let The Beat Build" from Nyle on Vimeo.

(OMG this kitten is so messed up, she runs at top speed away from any food dish I put out for her, but now she's interested in eating all my left-over onion rings?? Weirdo.)

I was pushing through the crowd at Dakota to get to my dancing friends and I was wearing a tight dress because that's how I roll and I passed this guy and he was staring at me and I looked at him and then went past and as I went past he slimily ran his hand down my hip and thigh and I almost gagged it was so disconcerting and invasive. A few seconds later he did it again when I was accidentally back near him. It made me feel so angry and helpless, which is a bit of an over-reaction but it was the tone of the situation, the attitude of it, the quietness.
Not down with that.

"We yearned for the future.

"How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability?"
-Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale







Oh the rain is lovely and I like having my window wide open to it and there was the sound of all the tiny children going into the school across the way as I woke up. They are always laughing and yelling and they are my kind of people.
Now that I have the chance to sleep in, I can't. Of course. Not feeling too well, tired of the same old kinds of pains.
But I've nothing that I have to do right now and I forgot that I love reading and how starting a book is delicious with promise (I try so hard not to read the back of novels or the inside flap, I like knowing nothing about the unfolding story, I don't want to have anything ruined -- unlike my uncle who flips to the back first to make sure it's going to end well before he invests his time).
I do, do love reading, wrapped in a down comforter, especially with a kitten asleep stretched across my chest. And I forgot how pretty the mornings are, I put all my efforts into late-nights and so I miss out on how the day forms itself.

loverloverloverloverloverlovercomebacktome

Ah, kind of strange how I'm pretty upset about how ee is going back to Edmonton tomorrow -- wish she had gotten that transfer and was moving here forevers.
She and I are strangely similar in interactions and needs and opinions on people. Leads to funny situations where we just make deadpan faces at each other across crowded tables but yet know exactly what we both are thinking. And then make giant jokes about it later. Perfect.
Also, she seriously kills me in her straightforwardness and comments - so funny funny. Hard to explain but she's the kind of person who just says exactly what she is thinking to whoever happens to be nearby. People she knows or complete strangers.
Weirdest? We just realized that we went to kindergarten together! She moved to another school the next year but totally Mme. Boyle's kindergarten. How wild. I'm going to have a look at all mum's photos from that time to see if I can find vintage ee.
Welcome to Saskatoon.
(that we we say whenever there's too many coincidences and overlaps -- mostly pertaining to intimate relations, but I feel like it can be used pretty much everywhere)

I'm very lucky, you know?
I know some of the best people.
Tonight ee and I met up with so many babes including my BFF and other ridiculous dreamboats (chees you want to choose your own alias?) and it was like "how are there so many babes in this room right now and no hunks to hit on all of us?"
We hit up the new place on Ossington, Watusi(?), and it was alright.. kind of older dudes younger girls, kind of yuppie.. then we fully went to Bistro and had pitchers of mixed drinks (YES PLEASE) -- 4 oz. for $12 = downfall, except ee and I had been drinking since dinner at 6 at Fressen (great food, great atmosphere and some of the rudest servers I have ever experienced in my natural born life).
I feel as if I've been drinking too long to actually experience drunkeness. No, wait, probably just forgot what it feels like to be sober.

Aw, summer, so excited for you!
Hoping it'll be like the white-bike-under-streetlights summer and like the pinched-cherries-from-your-roommates summer. Hoping it'll be about loving and care-taking.
That is completely totally what I am planning and preparing for. So glad!

Do not want to go to work again tomorrow morning - tell you that much for free...

stupid jobs

My friend ee from Saskatoon (now living in Edmonton) is in town and we partied together all day yesterday and now I have to go to work (for the first time this week, so really I am being a giant baby) and I do not want to!
It's maybe going to be 22 degrees and I'm going to be inside working!

We had a time yesterday though, so I really shouldn't complain. Took a tonne of photos but all on her camera because she's doing a photo travel journal for her boyfriend



Haha that photo is so classic! It looks like Tilda is totally creeping on Little Grey, spooning him and stuff. So perfect.



ee came over to see the kittens, she loves them but is deathly allergic, she totally broke out in hives. Sadness. I can't imagine being so allergic to something I love so dearly.