all I do is brunch (not an exaggeration)

Kind of a crazy weekend, no? Kind of?

I was in a pretty good mood all day today, I had brunch with an old pal at Nirvana where our server was very adorable and laughed at all of our jokes a lot (which is a great quality in a dude!!!)  and then I went around the corner to Aunties and Uncles where my childhood bff, Prune and co. were also brunching. I stayed with them while they ate and who should show up but Sass and Raymi!

Raymi tried to convince me to have a JO sesh but I was not into it! (JK rayms, I would totally be into that with you, don't worry).

So when my other pals left I went over to join Sass while she waited for Raymi to figure out some stuff. While Raymi was away Sass and I took pictures of ourselves in her glasses and hat:

The best part is that the poses we were copying actually made us look real hot. And by us I mean Sass.

It was almost as if she were right there with us.

Luckily the restaurant was nearly empty at this point. Except a table on the other side that just wouldn't leave. Don't you just hate it when people (us) over-stay their welcome?

Then after brunching around I came home and slipped into a terrible, terrible mood. I actually ended up canceling a meeting I was supposed to have tonight about a short film because I was in too bad of a mood to be around humans... Kind of makes sense, I haven't been spending enough time alone I bet.

And I don't have any shifts this week and I don't have any money or auditions or anything good to do.

Ohhh yeah, last night was fun, we went to see comedy at the Rivoli and then over to Dakota to dance to The Beauties and scope babes. People thought I did a great job picking up as I was being chatted up by babes.. unfortunately one was Prune's boyfriend and one was my old college classmate (who I hadn't seen in years and it was very weird/good to see him again).

I did dance and feel real good about dancing, though. I did tell it to the ceiling and drink some gin and tonics.

Pretty awesome.

Now I am doing some writing(!) and plotting for adventures and stuff. I'm trying to work myself into a better mood, I started with smoked gouda and hummus and dill harvarti and now I'm going to polish off the ovation mints, I think.

Oh you mean there are other ways to get into good moods besides food?

my chest feels empty. hollow, like maybe my heart has vacated for a second or so

I always forget just how much I love Ghost World. I mean, I know that I love it, right? I know that it's my favourite and all.. but when I actually watch it.. it makes so much sense to me. 



I drew that snowflake on my wrist several days in a row over Christmas starting on Christmas morning when I got a pen that's excellent for drawing on skin, and I loved it so much. I wanted to get a tattoo of such a snowflake right there. Which is a bit of a silly thing for a film + tv actor to do (tattoos are a pain) oh yeah not to mention my other jobs would not approve.  Really thick watch?



So I won't get it done. At least not there. But snowflakes somewhere? I'm thinking about it. Who wants to buy me a snowflake tattoo?

Work tonight was great, I was in a great mood, I picked up this shift today I wasn't originally scheduled for it but thank god because it ended up making up for the huge amount of tips I physically lost while I was walking to the staff room last weekend.

Here is a picture from this past Christmas morning:


it is kind of making me feel better right now. make fun of me all you want, but I'll tell you that christmas (when used effectively) is lovely and soothing and heart-warming and full of promise (even when it's just passed. leave me alone).

Yeah, personally, not feeling awesome tonight. I sort of like to think about how when everything goes wrong it's just getting ready for things to go really, really right.
And how I wouldn't feel like I truly deserved all the wonderful things that are coming my way unless I went through all of this messiness first.



Right? Right.

let's hear it for pot pouri!

yeah I'm not really feeling blogging!!!
not my fault (my fault).

I've been cleaning and cooking and walking across the whole city a lot. Walking for 2+ hours a day is kind of tiring... in a nice way.

Went and partied with the Kids in the Hall earlier this week with Sass !
Please refer to her site for a whole bunch of photos featuring us in poses demonstrating how much fun we were having. Okay fine, here's one that I stole:

I took a bunch too and they are coming soon! I hope!

Kids in the Hall have a new mini-series on the CBC called Death Comes To Town and if you missed the first episode (which aired this week) you can watch it online!
I love that networks are putting their shows up online for me. I barely ever ever turn on my TV anymore, I'm all about streaming.

Oookay time for coffee with my BFF and then work I guess.................

Oh, yeah, Ruth Buzzi is doing great, in case you were wondering. She is very fast and good at chasing strings especially while I'm trying to do some sewing.
Also my landlord came to (finally) fix my toilet handle while I was out and he didn't tell me he was coming and so he was treated to a big mess and also he locked Ruth Buzzi out of my suite for a couple of hours. She was still in the house, but locked out of my attic. I came back to find her huddled against my door. awwww the baby.

I'll leave you with one question:
is facebook becoming myspace?
I feel like all of sudden I'm getting way more friend requests from people I've never met and people who are obviously just in bands who will try to get me to come to their shows...

I'm freezing and I'm burning for the girl in Saskatoon

Here's two versions of this song. Kind of nice... I'm posting them up for you so that you can learn them to cover for my birthday party show next december, might as well get a jump start, yeah?


P.S. - I really really like Ruth Buzzi. She's so sweet and sleeps beside me all day long and cuddles and has a meow that sounds just like a chew toy.. except cute.. yeah, cuter than you'd think for sure.
Pretty nice.

P.P.S. - I made a lot of money ($85) in tips today and then I lost it on my way to the locker room.
Do you want to buy me something to make it up to me? OKAY THANKS.

skins, three episodes in a row, excellent!

I like the good stories from my mum and my aunts about their lives before I was born.
(I say "aunts" and not "aunts and uncles" because my one uncle is dead [heart attack when he was homeless in Toronto] and the other one I don't see that often/am not that close with -- he lives in Waseca [which I thought, when I was younger and would picture it spelled out, would be Oiseequa, french, like Oiseau and all of that]. I like my uncle a lot, but a long time ago I said that I didn't like him and my [much smaller] brother told him that I didn't like him and ever since then I've felt awkward around him. Aw, man, I do like him, though. He wears jean shorts instead of swim trunks and has a surprisingly loud laugh and falls asleep in the middle of books.)

I don't like the bad parts of their stories. Obviously (?).

from my aunt's blog (I feel uncertain who wants to be linked to and who does not) about her hitching with my mum to go visit their older sister:
"We went there to ask Mary the meaning of life (as I recall, she said, with some impatience, that reason for life is to live)"

So... my mum hitched across the country and back, and dropped out of post-secondaries multiple times (not to mention had kids all on her own).  You'd think I'd be braver, eh?

...Mary is gone now, too. I never knew her -- met her once I think they tented in our backyard (?) I don't know if that is memories or memories of photos guess it means the same thing to me, doesn't it? We should go around making up new memories it doesn't really matter it's just what you believe, isn't it?

My mum is the oldest living of her siblings. All the remaining siblings are in agreement that she is the next to go and it won't be for a couple more decades at least.
I can't imagine being prepared for that.






When I moved here to go to college my professors (I'm looking at you, voice and movement) thought I still had my mum up on a pedestal and soon would realize that she wasn't the amazing, ridiculous intelligent/gifted person I thought she was. 

I'm still waiting for that to happen.
They didn't take into consideration that I had 2.5 years off between high-school and moving to Toronto where I lived and mostly only fought with my mother. They felt like she must have coddled me and cuted me up to get me to where I was.

Ahh maybe a bit.

The thing is, my mum isn't just anyone, my mum is a genius and knows it a bit and I think has always assumed that I am one too and therefore I assume that I am a genius despite the fact that every time I type the word genius I type it g-e-n-i-o-u-s.
And despite my obvious grammar errors and lack of accomplishments (WHATSOEVER).

As much as maybe my knowing that I'm smart isn't helpful, it's good to have a bit of someone's expectations weighing on you -- not for specific schooling or career choices, but for the things that really matter like arts and morals and relationships and care-taking and responsibilities.

And sometimes (a lot of the times) it makes me feel a bit better to think about how my mum was in her late 30s when she had me, and it reassures me to think of all my friends/acquaintances/family members who didn't start truly producing/accomplishing until they were a bit older.

It calms me down when I start to panic (tonight) about how I am no one and accomplishing nothing yet despite living in this big city for 6 years now...

It's 2:53. This makes less sense/is less cohesive than I'd like.

I frequently wish I'd went to university. Except that I don't want to have to do it now.

hey, does your brother like cats?

Sometimes when I have lots of time to hang out by myself and do nothing, that's when I do the least amount of blogging.
I have been busy, sort of, with cleaning the house a bit, making soup, watching internet TV, and getting my latest foster cat.



This one is called Ruth Buzzi Sweet Potato Johnson.



Who knows why!
Oh yeah, because she has a pretty cute little meow and it sounds like "ruuuuuuth, ruuuuuth" like that kind of. Also I like Ruth Buzzi because she was on Laugh-In and I love Laugh-In.



Also, this Ruth looks a bit like a yam.



I cannot stop thinking that Ruth is a boy, but she is not. Most orange cats are boys. She is so lovely and dark. Awwww.



It looks like maybe they might have found her owner (she was brought to TCR as a stray a month or two ago), though, so if that's the case then she might not be around here very long.
But if it isn't the case then you can adopt her!



Yesterday I cleaned the house a bit. Not enough, mind you, but a bit. And then I made Coconut Curry Soup!
I bookmarked this recipe god-knows-how-long-ago and I've been meaning to make it, so I finally got around to buying the ingredients and, MAN, is it good!



My pictures do not do it justice but you have to trust me that it's good. And she's right when she says it looks like more work than it is. For sure, it's super easy, actually, and requires very little actual cooking time. The tofu takes the longest. I like her recipe for Perfect Tofu, also. I'd never heard of freezing it before frying it up. (I've never heard of a lot of things, especially about cooking, because I make most things up as I go along.)  I froze it over night just in a dish not covered or anything and it did seem to cook up quicker and chewier than usual.



I did try to follow the recipe pretty closely (I used to not believe recipes at all, ever, thanks, Niki) but I've been thinking: 'hey, maybe people are onto something' with actually sticking to a plan.
Also, I made the very best pumpkin soup I've ever tasted last week and I didn't write any of it down and now I wish I had because I cannot remember what I did at all, only that it was so delicious.

Though for this Coconut Curry Soup, I didn't  have any fresh veggies (thanks, METRO at midnight), I just had a can of mushrooms (used a bit of those) and a bag of frozen "market pick" vegetables. From the market pick I used mostly carrots and broccolis but also a bit of red peppers and baby corns.
But it was still SO GOOD.

Oh, also, I used a bit more curry powder than suggested and next time (right now) I will put in more garlic.

Okay I have to go make this again right now. I thought  I made enough for two meals for me last night but instead I ate all of right then.

i left your heartbeat in this town

(here are some older pictures for you)

So I'm back in Toronto and it's nice here and I miss Saskatoon, well mostly my family and my cats and I'm sad that I didn't get to spend enough time with certain people but it's okay. I guess.



It snowed all day yesterday and that was really nice and christmassy which of course made me sad that christmas is over.


(I had a weird colour setting on my camera there for a minute)



But I've been seeing lots of BFFs including the BFF who is back from Paris, FINALLY. She needs a new nickname on here, that one is lame. But, yeah we went to Aunties and then shopped all around, got matching day-planners at The Paper Place, for the third year in a row.




Back to work last night and I got in trouble and I also got rewarded. Such is life. I also discussed the sexism that is sort of prevalent in that workplace and decided that there's no good answer, really. No awesome solution.
Besides that it was kind of fun. I don't mind that job at all.



Then I went for drinks with the Mrs. and co. at Nirvana, which was pretty fun. It was COCKTAIL NIGHT. which I think it was also the last time I was there so maybe it's always COCKTAIL NIGHT? No, probably not. 



Yeah, I still have a billion more photos of Poppy still to edit and upload, it took a lot of effort to get him to sit still and pose properly but now he looks like a babe. You're welcome, Poppy.
(p.s. - he's single!!!)



Coffee soon with Cpt. Heh, we are going to try out the new coffee place that's at Manning and College that I can't remember the name of but we will judge it and get back to you. It's too bad that Ella's Uncle doesn't have a bit more room in it because it's such a sweet place in the summertime, sitting out on the benches and all...


I don't really have time for a shower, I've been way too busy eating gluten-free gingersnaps and gulping hot tea and google reader reading and lounging in my pin-stripe pajamas (thanks, mcc village green).
Too bad for me.



I guess I should actually get groceries at some point today... I got home and in my fridge was:
-2 expired eggs
-garlic herb cream cheese (now eaten)
-half a big onion
-giant bottle of rum
-jar of cranberry orange vodka
-Saskatoon berry jam
-other condiments/dressings

I finally defrosted my freezer before I left town and now I'm excited to make some big batches of soups and be able to freeze a bit of them. I'm a terrible housekeeper. Getting better.

finally the mcc is open today!

Steve gave me her new years hat on new years. I wonder where she got it? From the party, maybe? Another friend had a lovely red one that I wore for most of the time i was there but he wanted it back -- it went too nicely with his t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

I also wore this hat all around the house yesterday. And took self-timer pictures of it with my dslr. dslr self-timer pictures are harder to wrangle because the auto-focus starts when you set the time, not right before you take the picture. Maybe my camera just isn't smart enough.

I love this hat. i want to be in a chorus line and parade around town in it.



I know that it looks like I'm trying to make out with Rerun there but really I'm just kissing him aggressively on the face. Such is life.


I've bought too many things! I don't know how I'm going to pack them all. At all.
Only today and tomorrow left around here and then 6 a.m. (what the hell is wrong with me, why do I pick such early fucking flights? jeezus.) Monday morning I'm back to Toronto.



Haloscan starting charging for commenting systems and I spend so much money on lots of little internet things, I wasn't really into the idea of paying more... so I'm switching over to Disqus because they let me import the old comments and stuff so hopefully that all works out??
Now comment to try it out.

this year will be about having even more fun than I expected

New Years turned out way better than I expected! 
The best kind of evening, where you have zero expectations of fun and then fun creeps up and surprises you! 





There were more people that I really like a lot at BandSwap, and I kind of enjoyed being the raffle girl, I was in a good enough mood to badger people into buying tickets. 
Oh, yeah, for those not in Saskatoon -- BandSwap is an annual event where 35 or so Saskatoon musicians from various bands put their names into a lottery of sorts and form new bands and then they also draw songs they have to cover (I think in 24 hours? Something like that, I don't know, I'm never in it, always just the raffle girl). It's always very very funny and fun and I really should have remembered that. 
Also, all the proceeds go to the Crisis Nursery. So that's obviously great. 


The best was when we had so many sparklers lit up for the new year and then the fire alarm went off (not sure if it was related) and they thought there was an actual fire and so everyone had to be evacuated out into the 40 below weathers. Amazing. 



(These South Saskatchewan river shots are from my friend's wedding, which was in the top of the Sheraton overlooking everything. pretty beautiful views. )





After Amigos I went over to Scratch, which is our friend's new restaurant/club and it is really quite neat. I went to meet up with Steve-Dave and Constantine, who were dancing and dancing. I'm pretty pleased I stopped by, ended up closing the place down and practicing all our sweet moves.


I was super responsible about not over-drinking, so much so that when I arrived home at about 5 in the morning (thanks, Brother Mistletoe, for coming to fetch me when there were no cabs to be found!) I was close to sober. Better sober than barfing! Also that meant zero hang over today, which was awesome.





Today I'm back to my usual home-body ways. I made the most delicious hashbrowns and ate them all with spinach and eggs and tomatoes and that was great.
Oh yeah, last night I made corn chowder and potato soup and mum put it in all the freezer in tiny containers for meals later the way that she does. I'm stocking her up so I don't have to get her Meals On Wheels.


("Meals on wheels has desserts..." - pouting old mother)



(In my mum's kitchen there's lots of pretty things hanging around.)


Mum says I'm turning into Suzy Homemaker. That's definitely not true. I have zero interest in cleaning anything, for instance.
But I do really quite enjoy cooking. Especially for other people. I don't really get to do that in Toronto. It feels weird to invite people over specifically for dinner. Some people it isn't too weird, I guess. Niki, for instance. Also, I have such a restricted diet that maybe people don't like the same things I like. JL, in particular, eats everything that is the opposite of what I eat. 

Some days I wish that I had roommates to make food for. 
I like how making a meal makes me feel capable and healthy, in control of things and clever. Oh, and the payoff is immediate and filling. 





Look, Adventure Cat is still soooo little. She will never stop being a kitten, ever. If she tries I will punch her. 
I love all these cats. Rerun and Pansy sleep under the covers with me, one on either side. Sigh. 








I'm running out of home-time very quickly. It seems like it's all of a sudden, but of course it isn't at all. There's still people I was meaning to hang out with... 
And I want to go bowling on Sunday. Who's going to come bowling?





Happy first day of the new year!!