you have reason to be frightened since you've been reading my mind

i have no interest in working the ufc game tonight. I hope I make unbelievable amounts of money. That would make it worthwhile.


this is a picture I took of my new house that I took while walking home the other night. Am I a bit of a creeper? Almost certainly.

that stained glass and little balcony? that's mine!

to say that I'm excited about this would be an understatement. Also, I am extremely nervous. And a bit stressed. It'll be a big change. I've lived in my current place for over 7 years! yiiiiiiikesssss.

also, I've never really moved before. so if you want to help me out with that, I'll forsure let you.



this didn't autostitch the best. But still kind of rad. Firehorse (my new roommate as of June 1st) has a studio with a sweet deck. We will have 2 big decks at our new place.
We will have the best lives ever. Almost certainly.

Should I put a rope-ladder up to my room?
hahahaaaa I've been looking at too many design blogs. not that that's where I got the rope-ladder idea.
but so many good ideas I hope I actually get around to doing.

I'm super excited to move in with Firehorse and our other AMAZING (but yet to be determined) roommates. I hope everyone is into theme parties and can be pressured into watching My So-Called Life....

just a little purple crocus, yeah?

I hate when Easter comes around because for some reason (even after 7 years) I never remember the wave of homesick that's about to hit.
Not even Thanksgiving compares (ugh, turkey). It's Easter that always makes me so ridiculously sad to not be with all my wonderful, wonderful family.

I guess I am super ridiculously lucky to have family that I miss so much that it makes me break out into hysterical sobbing. RIGHT?
No, I do realize that I've lived a charmed life and that almost no one has a family that they get along with in the same way that I do with mine.
BUT.

Homesick, man.


these pictures are from a couple of years ago. Why I'm not there now.. I have no good reason. So lovely, though. And this baby is now a tiny child, a child who hardly knows me (seems unfair).



reflection of the clouds in Eagle Creek. (takemehome takemehome)


I feel a bit like I'm looking through photos of an ex-boyfriend, of a relationship past.
Pretty close.

Maybe to you it looks brown and grey and uninteresting and not exiting, but I have to say, Eagle Creek is one of our home-bases. Its tall hills and hidden coves in bluffs of trees, its big rocks for sitting on and its bridge for climbing.... hard to explain if you can't come with us. But if you ever have an opportunity, I hiiiighly recommend. 


My mum and my little baby cousin. Growing up so big and I'm not even there for it. Oh sigh, oh sigh.

Also, happy birthday to my aunt! I love you very, very much. And even more importantly, I think you're straight-up funny and wonderful.
no joke.

from my cousin's blog:
"P.S. Meredith, don’t be too angry with me for posting about it. Snide FB comments aside, you were missed the whole time we were there. I thought of you every time I took a picture of something and I wanted to share."
fresh sadness. in the best possible way.
except why can't I be in both places? make my life go in a direction that makes this possible.

these photos I just stole from her blog. Because that's what I'm like.

Please get some crocuses for me?
You'll get my undying devotion in return?
good deal.

Also,
I'm so happy these days with Toronto and with my bestfriends who are actually remarkable. I'm just homesick as well.
Coinciding.
I'm lucky.

time passes, apparently

I went by White Squirrel the other day for a coffee when I was walking Kaya and the owner used to be one of the owners of Aunties, and you know how I feel about Aunties (home) and so I was saying "hi how are you" to him and he asked me if I was still making zines.
Strange how time passes and I don't do things that used to be so ingrained in who I was... Not that making tiny magazines and forcing my friends into reading them was who I was, but it was definitely an interesting passtime.
It gave me the first real excuse to take photos and the self-imposed deadline I needed to actually get stuff written. Also, it made me feel like a real writer for the first time.

anyway. time passes, things change. I should write more. Broken record.



Carla Ghee came up with calling her line-up of babes her Roster.
on a scale of 1 to 10 how jealous am I that I didn't come up with this? 100% jealous.

She is into deciding if people are on or off the roster and speaks of "bringing one up from the minors".
Amazing.

My roster is fairly calmed down these days. I have a few crushes but nothing to go bananas over. No one really stepping up to the plate.



Though, I have to say, the lack of romance in my life is astounding.
I'm not expecting candles and flowers and picnics by the sea but JESUS CHRIST how about texting before 3 a.m.?

Ha. I mean, even if I have no interest in dating you I would still like the common courtesy of being asked out for a drink if you are interested in hanging out at all. Or even just being contacted prior to last call. God, I am so demanding. 
ha. It is a fine line, though, hey?
Anything casual is a super difficult situation to wrangle. I go through phases where I think it could be a good idea.. and also not.
Needs both parties to not care enough and care enough. Be comfortable enough.. Nearly impossible to work out, I think.

It'd be nice to go on a date someday. But who am I kidding?



Haaa, man, first world problems, hey?

I'm definitely using this blog entry to avoid looking at the scripts I have open waiting for me to make them perfect.
I didn't go out tonight. Came home after work. Totally the rain's fault. Which is just fine. Maybe I could get into a one-night-in one-night-out pattern?
Yeah right.


I was thinking I'd only go home one time before Christmas (the past couple of years I've been going every 4 months or so) but now I'm getting to the homesick part and I'm not sure that just one visit is the best plan.

Give me prairie fields, give me redberry lake, give me rains that you can see coming for miles.

where's bee?

flickr app is being a piece of turd right now which is not right on, ya know?

hey look a confused little lamb!


If you haven't looked at Vintage Voter yet, I really recommend it.

you can see pictures of Harper when he was a little less creepy!

Ughhhh election. Everyone should vote.
I was managing to turn a pretty blind eye to all the SHIT that Harper has been doing and wants to do but this election has gotten it all up in my grill and maaaaaaaan this is not cool.
pretty much horrifying.

GAH.

ShitHarperDid.com is a bit over-simplified and easy, I get that, but I think it's worth a visit, especially if you are like me and try to know as little as possible about shit because you are a terrible and lazy person.


In better news, last night at 1:30 we went by Sneaky Dee's for a Springsteen VS. Petty dance party and I kind of wish we'd gone earlier.
I was super tired and about to go home but I got talked into it. And MAN, you know what the best thing about Springsteen VS. Petty is?
You don't have to choose.

Also, what the fuck Patio Lanterns? Still not a cool jam.

Anyway, I totally danced and scoped babes. Are these regular types of nights? because I'd go again.

complainte pour ste. catherine

Wrapping up my trip to Montreal now.

I'm at Santropol eating this salad:


It is very good. It's like nachos but also a salad with chili. Why not? I'm not going to eat the croutons so if you are in the neighbourhood you have half an hour to get over here and eat them.

We didn't really party to the moon too badly, which is kind of alright. I'd say this trip has been more relaxing than partying. Oh, and eating.
I slept a lot. Lettie had an extra double bed for Carlos and I to share and goddamn it was comfortable. Suuuper soft but not too soft and big and I just slept forever and ever.
Also my attic is super bright and so I'm used to feeling a bit guilty about sleeping past noon because I can forsure tell what time it is the moment I even begin to wake up. Not this room, though, quite dark and easy to sleep your life away in. In a good way.



I'm glad I slept in today though because I'm taking the bus back basically overnight. I felt like since I always sleep in transit it might as well be at regular sleeping hours. But it probably won't be suuuper relaxing..

I feel like being a good sleeper is a good skill and valuable. I plan on continuing to hone this skill and value it.
I find thinking about nice things and having a tiny self-satisfied smug smile on my face always helps me fall asleep.
Also just catching on to any images that are floating around in my head and following them where, not letting my rational thoughts get in the way of the images becoming events which become dreams. Ya know?



I have nothing exciting to write in private blog from this weekend. Ya know, I didn't even see that many sweet beardy-longhairs. And all the ones I did see were with beautiful ladies.
Ladies with natural-coloured hairs and messy ponytails and effortless outfits and slouchy boots and lazily-slung backpacks.
Confidence, man, confidence is the number one sexiest thing.
Oh, and being good-looking.

and then humour.
We went to see some Sunday night improv last night on Ste. Catherine and there was one guy who was sooo appealing because of how much energy he had and how strong and funny he was. Sigh.

I should probably start doing improv again, hey? OBVIOUSLY.



Carlos is gone back to Saskatoon now and Lettie has her final final tomorrow and so I'm on my own this evening, which is rather nice.

I'm going to hang out for a bit here and finish internetting and then I'm thinking I'll wander around then maybe go see Daydream Nation.
Anyone seen this? It sounds like nothing if not up-my-alley and I'll look to like and hopefully have fun.
I'm not that hard to please (lies).



I'm missing all my Toronto buds. Does that sound nutso? Probably. I got a series of texts at around 4 a.m. the other night (luckily they didn't wake Carlos!) from Norman, Carla Ghee, and Firehorse who were all partying to the moon forever without me. (one included the phrase "suck a dick" which I'm not sure if that was intended to be rude or not...)
Whatever, guys, I party with you every day alright.

But I will be glad to be getting back to Hoops for the playoffs. hahaha who am I!

Hey look, my Bud at the Chinatown dinner we were at late last night was a Canucks fan:

right on.

Oh, I've also seen a buttload of hot dads (or DILFs as Lettie won't stop saying haaaa gross). Do I have to move here to find hot babes to have babies with me? hmmmm? 

mont real

HI GUYS
I'm in Montreal right now. I am about to put on some very funny nails which I bought at the dollar store so I can't talk much.
Also I have to make both nachos aaaaand sangria, so you can see how challenging and overwhelming my life is!


I had an eeeasy relaxing megabus journey over. I slept most of the way and I had both seats to myself on the top floor a double-decker which was pretty right-on.
If only my co-worker the night before hadn't told me about how a megabus in the states had gone off route and tried to under an underpass it couldn't clear and as a result many people died.
I was a bit nervous. But not nervous enough not to sleep the entire time.





Yeah, so been hanging out with Carlos and Lettie and probably going to keep doing that, pretty much. Should probably get around to actually seeing some "sights". We'll see.



If you know of anything suuuuuper fun going on in Montreal in the next few days you should let us know because we'd be interested.



Carlos and I had beers on the front balcony yesterday afternoon! Yeah, front balcony. Because there are two balconies at this place. Outrageous.


In a bit here I am going to drink this "Y Rage" energy drink which I purchased at the dollar store. Wish me luck. I may also put vodka in it. WHO KNOWS.

okay byeee more later I'm sure at some point.

bringing general use of cloth napkins into my life has increased my fancy-feelings

jeeeesus, it seems like I just turn around and several days have gone by and I just fully seem to forget I even have a blog.

how are you?
I'm doing okay.

things are still insane around here. I've started going out later so that can get stuff done around the house before I'm out on the town until 4. Just adjusting my schedule to allow for being a party-all-the-time asshole.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT EVERYTHING IS TOO FUN.

also, I'm working quite a bit lately. Which is good, it keeps me from being an all-time disaster.

and then Lucinda Bright and I sleep in until noon (at the earliest).



Norman and I had virgin bloody marys the other night at Hoops and our favourite bartender did them up right for us. So delicious.
Virgin bloody marys to go with our beers and pretended they were slightly nutritious. Not because we weren't drinking or anything. 

Our bartender gets sad when we're not around enough. Haaaa we love Hoops.


grilled cheese is not the best unless you put more cheese on the outside of the sandwich. I know I've said that before but I hope you took it to heart.


at the Metro they now have a bunch of gluten-free products, generic brand, including pancake mix. SO GOOD.
I mean, maybe because of how I put so much bananas and walnuts in them, but no, seriously delicious. Almost as good as Aunties and Uncles.
wow I haven't been for brunch in forevers. Hmmmmm. 

Okay enough about food!

Let's look at pictures of me!!!




The worst is when you go to chat with a pal on the internet and they're like
"how are things?"
and you're like, "same old, how are things with you?"
and they're like "oh just busy working on a movie I wrote that samuel l jackson is in"

hahahaaaa JEALOUS.


then this conversation happened:
he: how is the husband hunt going?

me:too many cooks in the kitchen
luckily i decided no husbands, only party

he: I really hope you don't call your private parts "the kitchen"...

me:obvi
"what's cooking"
"let's go check the kitchen"

he: Now I'm totally calling you The Kitchen from now on.

me: RIGHT ON

he: "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen."

me: "i think that sausage belongs in the kitchen"
then i'll endup with a bun in the oven!!

he: Yes, be careful. Clean up after food-preparation and wear oven-mitts to avoid getting burned.
Also, try to avoid being infested by rats.

me: eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
:(
actually, i've for sure gotten invested in rats before




I told my friend, Crazy Von she can take pictures of my tits next week.
On film that expired 47 (?) years ago. ART!
haaaaa. the real question is, should I post them here if they are nice? (not the tits, asshole, those are fantastic, the photos) (JOKING only medium fantastic)
Probably should post them, hey?


Mother, you want to way in on this? You used to pose nude for art classes, so there are many artist-renderings out there of your rack I bet.
Oh, you don't want your business on the internet? Wrong daughter!

I don't really see the issue with tits but I do feel awkward about the sort of attention it brings. Or how people then feel they get to judge you based on what you put on the internet.

Crazy Von and I went to highschool together and she was even in a play I directed in grade 12. Recently she's been hanging out at Dot while I'm there and so we've gotten to be buds again. And I'm glad!
Also, if you click over to her blog then you get to see how she takes pictures of babes all day!

I know, right?

I leave for Montreal on Thursday morning. I'm getting excited. Obviously.
I'm also going to finally get my passport when I get back so that I can go down to New York to hang out on Sass's big deck with her.
WANT TO.

voyageur va cherchez tes baggages

Had a late lunch with Flash Gordon at Fresh after the dome today. She announced that she wanted to tell me something she liked best about me and so I decided I'd better film it. You can see what she says, above.


Also, our food was SO GOOD.
FGordon did a quick job of her bowl (she's a supereater) whereas I took half of mine home with me (I'd also eaten fries earlier).

it was SO GOOD.
My bowl was on half price too so it was only like $6.50.
BAM.
I just ate the rest right now even though I was still overly full from the first helping.
Classic.
I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. Good thing it's gone now. 




I'm trying to think what my favourite thing about Flash Gordon is now.
she's pretty good at listening/advising and gets worked up on my behalf. I really really like it when that happens. Actually, I like it when she gets worked up in general.
Also, she's hysterical. obviously.
That's how I choose my friends, whoever is the best at laughing with me.


Not to point out the obvious, but maaaan I love Fresh. all vegetarian with an eye on gluten-free?! come on now.
Plus we had cashew cookies for desert. yessssssss.



Thank god I made some money at work today because last night was a complete bust. Ups and downs, man. Working for tips is pretty stressful sometimes.
And sometimes fun.

I nailed down my dates for my sweeeet vacation in Montreal next week.
SO EXCITED.
And I may even have a couple of dollars to spend on partytown.

You know how many beardy-longhairs there are in Montreal? A BILLION.



Meeting up with a couple of my favourite ladybabes from Saskatoon there. Actually, Lettie (I just randomly chose that nickname for her!!) lives there now and has a spare bedroom and she's letting Carlos and I crash with her. ughhh this is going to be a shitshow (I hope)!
haaaaaa



Carlos and Lettie can both drink more than I can and are both as interested in babes as I am. Although Lettie might be off the market lately so maybe she'll just round up babes for Carlos and I? That'd be right on.

Lettie is possibly responsible for the whole calling babes "babes" business. She definitely came up with "babe of life" and "touch 'em, they're real" and several other of my favourite jokes.
I'm looking forward to getting in on her Montreal life! And having a few cocktails. UH HUH.

Carlos is going to Montreal to look at schools? or something? I think it'll be cool if Carlos moves out to Montreal all too and then I can go visit both of them all the time. Yeeeah huh.

We all have red hair right now, too. Amazing.
(although Lettie is maybe the only "natural" whatever that means.)



please advise me posthaste of anything you think I should see/do, anyone you think I should meet (that'd be weird), anything free to experience, any walk I should take, etc.
THANKS GUYS.

uh oh I don't really know how to speak french anymore. 

I feel really certain it is either Saturday or Sunday right now.
I'm alright with it being Thursday though if it needs to be. I mean, I have tomorrow off and tonight the plan is Hoops then Dot. So.... my life is perfect.