The MRI goes 24/7 and when we get to the hospital at night, everything is so quiet. Except the baby who is crying and crying when we check in at emerg. The baby's parents must be younger than us, they both look nervous. I wonder how many babies I'd have by now if I'd never left my small city.

Your town is completely unfamiliar to me, how funny that it's always been home to you. We have opposite eyes on the place.
I'm not one to feel strange in hospitals, I don't mind the smell, I don't mind the sterile look and feel - that's just how it is. But this emptiness at night is unnerving. I'm really glad to have come with you. I wonder if you feel better having me here.
I get the impression that you don't care either way, but I've never been able to read you properly.

I don't like being in hospitals alone, it seems like basically the loneliest. But waiting for you in the small room outside the magnets and machines is not lonely. Because I'm not here for me, I'm just busy being your sidekick, it's rare I get a real chance to be there for you.
I'm relieved when it's done though, I'm relieved we get back to your parents' place and hide out in the room I'm staying in, laughing and making fun of each other.

Yeah, I did love you, you know. Even if I never knew how to go about it properly.

got a wind burnt face and lots of freckles these days like an explorer

I'm really into the long bits this tree has.
Especially yesterday I was like "WHOA, SUCH LONG BITS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?"




I've finally gotten around to using the instagram app. I'm late to this party, as well, I know. I am kind of into it, though. It's a bit annoying when people cross-post all of their same things on every platform. Like Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and blog. But I get the impulse to do so. And I know that all I am is redundant THANKS SHAMBERS.



I had kind of a lovely Valentines. I was debating whether or no to go out after work and so I called up Norman and we decided we maybe shouldn't go out, but then he was standing in front of Hoops (our new favourite bar ever) and he called me back and was like "come to hoops!"
So Hoops it was, and we dragged another recently single friend out and had some beers. Wandered up to Unlovable afterwards which we wondered out loud if that was a bit bad (or good?) to go to on Valentines Day..

Stayed til we could stay no longer and wandered home. Norman and I decided last night was not the night to sit in front of 7-11 for a couple more hours but I do hope it gets warmer soon so we can resume that passtime.




Oh yeah, I went to a charity bowling event with Violet and her law friends this weekend and we were asked if we were related.

this is a stupid blurry picture of us, but I kind of like it because we are grinning.
I'm not related to Violet, but I for sure wish I were. Plus, being likened to her in any way is fine by me.
Awww.

ALSO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER, YOU ARE VERY TALL AND THE BEST BROTHER FOR ME.

happy happy valentines all of you i love you

I have no good reason for not updating!
Except for being beyond social, I guess. yeah been going out too much. In a fun way!



Happy Valentines Day!

Especially to Killary my long-term #1 best Valentine, the best Valentine anyone could wish for. I wish I were in Saskatoon so I could take her out instead of her having to spend time with her darling baby and husband, but I can't be...


 
Thanks for the flowers! Also for the other Valentines I've received I love everyone so much. I will blog them right away too. eeeee so lucky. 


yep. classic.

Gotta go work Bon Jovi now, hopefully he sings directly into my heart for once.

my mind changes so quickly I can't ever be right

Went with Miss Lindeman to her show on Saturday night. We didn't stay late at all. I love Miss Lindeman very much and she has a new album coming out which I would be will be wonderful and I've heard some of the songs off it..mmhmm.



Everyone is sad these days, it seems.
Myself included, though I have to say, I feel like how much I've been going out has not been a bad thing, necessarily. Sort of like I'm beating off the winter blues by refusing to acknowledge that I should be hibernating. Like we're grouping together and drinking beer and laughing until we fall over because otherwise we'll freeze in place.

I know I've said it before, but, if throughout my life I manage to have even half the amount of wonderful perfect friends I have now then I will count myself over-lucky.



Ha, the other night one of my buds (who is older and committed) was like 'I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend, why don't you have a boyfriend?' and then he said, 'you gotta settle down, it's the best'
This is pretty much bullshit, and pretty rude and condescending under the guise of being compassionate and helpful. He's sort of like that, wants to give advice and tell you what to do. Which is funny because he has his own spotty record in terms of relationships. He's still lovely and everything, but stuff like that gets to me.



Like society doesn't do enough on its own for making anyone single feel nuts and panicked.
And feeling nuts and panicked seems to me like the ultimate way to get yourself into a shitty situation. It's the best way to consider people you know aren't right. It also leads to breaking your own heart by getting worked up about all possibilities and pinning your hopes on idiots.
Actually, pinning anything on anyone.



And I'm still of the opinion that being with the wrong person would be way lonelier than being alone.

And, also, it's silly to make it seem like being single was all up to me. Hmmm.

I'm not officially off BabeBreak, which I guess means by default that I'm on it still.
But I'm feeling very differently about it than I did right after Christmas. Or even before Christmas.
(reasons whyfor BabeBreak this time around are here)



I think Christmas (and then this awful part of the year right after Christmas) can be very hard. Christmas is stressful and overwhelming and it's an awkward time to be alone. Even if you are normally not lonely, or not even currently lonely. The time of year and other people can trick you into thinking it's lonely. Especially if your 19 year old brother is bringing his girlfriend to Christmas and at 26 you've still never had a relationship anywhere near that serious.

I wish I hadn't gotten it into my head that maybe I am holding myself back from finding true love. That by not admitting to wanting a relationship, by not actively seeking one, then of course I wasn't going to fall in love, ever.

So then I said I officially wanted a relationship.
Ugh. I'm sensitive to phrasing things.



I don't want a relationship for the sake of having a relationship. If something comes along that makes my already funtimes more fun, then we can talk. But I don't want that to be a priority in my life-- seeking something out, always looking for what's possible and not enjoying what I have.

I'd like to fall in love someday, but if it's not right away then I can't really care. I'm not going to stop being good at being single in hopes that it makes me more able to fall in love or some other bullshit.

Obviously, I go back and forth on this a lot. Don't we all?



My BabeBreak slip-up a couple of weeks ago was actually purely an accident, not planned at all I mean. I ended up making out with this dude I vaguely know in the back of the bar in kind of an obnoxious way.
But it doesn't matter, that's the best part!

It was so fun and it doesn't matter. I have no interest in said dude and he for sure feels the same, and it's just dumb and fun and rather lovely to make out for no reason.
The problem is that you can rarely find a situation where both people just think it's fun. Usually someone is taking it seriously.
And I find myself taking it seriously when I really shouldn't. And I also find that I have a harder time separating sex from emotion, and ideally I guess I'd like for them to go together. Which is why I really don't sleep with that many people (TMI? probably, but it's honesty which I appreciate most in other people's writings).



I do think that I have not acted properly in the past. I think I do need to be more careful. And it does sometimes get to the point where I feel like any dude is a possibility that should be thought about.
And so taking a minute away from babes to clear my head about things is not a bad idea.
"I forget how to be sweet to people and how to stop being defensive and rude."
I think that is still true and I think I accept less than I deserve sometimes.

But in terms of people getting warned that I'm too much drama, or thinking that themselves... Ha, that's just kind of pointless. They're probably right, then.
And maybe my idea that maybe women frequently are thought of by men in two categories (people they would date and people they would have sex with) is maybe a bit true, but also bullshit in terms of a person to person basis.

Fucking fight for me.
You know?

So in terms of whether or not I'll keep on break? I'm just hoping to stop pushing to see what I can get and what I can get away with. And I'm hoping to stop wishing for what I don't even really want.



Haaaaaa, yes, let's end with a weird-eyed picture of me waiting in Aunties? Perfect.

Also, the pictures above of the puppy and Prune are at Prune's place where there was a remarkable amount of wine and cake on Saturday night. Exactly the type of place I like to be.

bits of domesticity

This is a bit big but I still love it, this is my favourite one I've drawn in awhile.
The problems with wanting to get one small snowflake tattooed on my wrist are:
a) how would I choose which one to do?
and
b) I like the bigger, more complex detailed ones which aren't small at all.



Ugh, I can't take how cute this cat is being today. It just kills me.

I thought I was going to make black bean soup but then it turned out I bought kidney beans not black beans.
All's well, though, since I ended up with sort of like chili.. meaning I made soup that's a lot of kidney beans, corn, tomato sauce.. Topped it up with cheese and sour cream and bob's my uncle.
Delicious uncle.
I'm going to start trying to replace my desert (of whichever candy I've hidden around the house) with apples and peanut butter. Good luck to me.
Haaaaaa, good thing I only remembered where Dollface hid the peanutbetter cups after I was already home.
She should not tell me where the candy is.





I've decided my next duvet cover/bed ensemble will be all shades of white and off-whites. I want to make myself a patchwork coverlet with all different kinds of whites and creams and hopefully some tone-on-tone prints. Sighhh white cloud dream bed world.

This is an excellent idea since:
a) I spill pretty much any liquid I come into contact with
b) I don't have in-suite laundry
c) I don't know how to get out any type of stain 
d) I paint my nails in bed

Still want it though.

Plus still planning for my patchwork vintage soft flower prints. Mmmmmmmm so dreamy. 



Shit, son. Valentines Day is fast approaching and I am unprepared!
I really hope my mum is sending me a care-package.
MUM: if you want to send me some white/cream fabrics to start me off that would be okay (mcc variety, of course) plus I really want those necklaces I forgot at home.

Guys, Westjet is having a 72-hour sale right now, so book some flights to come and visit me. Unless you already live here, in which case book some flights to go away from me.
Carlos, Montreal on April? OKAY.

I'm working again tonight. What am I, employed? 

who is the most handsome prince?

it's you! 

how about you and me have a picnic?

Just posting this in case you haven't seen it yet and had no idea what I was talking about earlier.



I'm so tired my eyes are crossing and my brain is mixing up words, I think.

I've been making some pretty good jokes today but unfortunately they are mostly around how completely nutso I am so are therefore inadmissible.

Today at work I was thinking about how I think it's completely unacceptable to post so many stupid pictures of myself. But then I started thinking about how funny it was that I was thinking that. Therefore making posting so many stupid photos completely worthwhile.

Sort of makes sense.

It's funny when I run into vague friends of mine and they tell me they read blog sometimes. It always blows my mind. I mean, I know people are reading it because of the stats but it's sometimes the people I would least expect to come around here, plus I always assume some people are coming around just to hate on blogs. And they probably wouldn't tell me they were reading if that were the case.

Anyway! It makes me very, very pleased to hear if someone read and also enjoyed this little piece of shit on the internet! And I extra-love it when it's people I wouldn't expect. So nice.

12 hours of party just isn't enough for me

I partied until 6 a.m. last night with 5 or 6 cute dudes (I think 6?) and no other girls and you know what we did mostly? Looked at pictures of our cats.
Amazing.
I love cats. And nice dudes.

Have you guys seen that commercial with the guy and the cat on his belly? And he just loves that cat?  Kills me! that's the fucking best. Haaaa funny cat commercials are the best, actually.


I had a real lovely time, though. It was an odd mix of people. One vague friend (has been referred to as French-Braider on here I think?) I hadn't seen in forevs, and a bunch of dudes I barely know. I like situations like that!

The house was really nice and since it was a dude's bachelor pad I had low expectations but it was definitely neat and tidier than my place. Impressive. I love visiting people's houses. I like looking at people's things. Obviously. I'm super nosy.

It's nice to sit around talking for hours with people you barely know and getting to like them and smoking a hundred cigarettes (leave me alone) and 6 glasses of water (the only reason I'm alive today, I think).
And French-Braider bought me candy! 


I wore my fucking hat until 5:30 and then promptly forgot it at the dude's house. He can have it. I won't be needing it until the next time that team is in a game that I want to watch.

I have around 1 billion photos of me in this stupid (wonderful) hat might as well get to posting some of them, I guess!

I had such a good superbowl time! Our team won the bowl!

"I'm slightly psychic about sports"
- me to Norman the other day. he for sure did not believe me and was a bit peeved because I said "don't worry Vancouver will win this hockey game" and he was like "this is a very superstitious sport!"
they did win, though.


I have way more to say about Superbowl and all of the rest of the partying we did yesterday (all 12+ hours of it for me) but not right now.


cool, I'm at the point in my exhaustion now where I can't control my body temperature!
I'm bad at being tired.
I feel a weird happy tired right now though. Mmmmm.

TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE

Oh hey guys, remember when I live-blogged Twilight New Moon? And it was medium-entertaining? (mostly just Norman liked it but since I only care what Norman thinks...) Well I've done it again!

****Spoiler Alert****
(though, again, who cares!?)

TWILIGHT ECLIPSE LIVE BLOG::

ooo a new babe right off the bat. Right arm.
(ughhhh sorry I haven't left the house yet today)

NO NOT THE BAAAAAAABE
whoever is in this alley is the worst for hurting the babe.

waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiitttttttttttt a second, are vampires invisible now?
ultimate sexual fantasy: invisi-partner!

remember Into The Wild?
That was a good movie. Zach Galifianakis was in that. I love him.

Whoa Edward looks way too weird to even ever be considered attractive.
Hey maybe Edward will actually be in this movie not just a floating head like last time. Awww I miss floaty-head.

I think Edward is autistic. Or a vampire.

"Well I think you'll find the vampire human divorce rate is a little lower"
WOW. unbelievably bad. No, actually, I believe it.

For someone who's trying to marry her he sure isn't giving her very many diamonds! hold out for diamonds.

(Niki don't read this part) Hahaaa my friend told me he went as Edward Cullen for Hallowe'en but pussied out of wearing the contacts because he read horror stories about first-time contact wearing slicing their corneas and stuff. What? that's not a thing that people do with contacts. is it??
(Niki you can start reading again)

Wait. Her dad doesn't want her to date a vampire? Also, is that dad old enough to be her dad?

Aw Kristen Stewart is kind of lovely right now. In her pouty-faced way.

"Don't spend time with that vampire, spend time with Jacob, he's going through a tough time right now (A WEREWOLF TIME)"

Aw, I really really miss when I had a truck. (I said this the last time I watched Twilight, apparently)

I keep forgetting they're in highschool! Bella's friends are hipsters!

Whoa, wait, Edward is attractive, my bad. Just his head is big.

I can almost see Bella's mom's nipple!

Okay, I really don't get this. Why in god's name would she want to become a vampire? Does she even know how many babes there are out there?! There are so many different kinds of babes in this world it's kind of unreal.

Hahahahaaaaaa it's way harder to take this vampire dad seriously now that I've watched all of Nurse Jackie.
bahahah big blonde hair! hahaha dumb accent!

You know what would be cool? Better graphics.

ughhhhh this werewolf guy is ugly.

"hey lose the grin, Jacob, we're just going for a ride" plus you're ugly

WHOA A PACK OF SHIRTLESS NEVER-NUDES JUST RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE
I want to live with them!!

hahaha they're eating chicken drumsticks and making fun of the werewolf for having feelings!

This love triangle reminds me of Felicity except Scott Speedman isn't here. Should have more SSpeedman.

I know who Jersey Shore would pick. (whoa, I made that joke last time also. I'm not creative at all.)

"Doesn't he own a shirt?"
Ohhhh an actual joke, fancy!

Wow, I hope she's playing these two! I would totally try to date them both forever if I were her.
"It doesn't count if I have two boyfriends if one is dead and one is an animal"

You know what would be good about becoming a vampire? Not needing to use condoms anymore.

Honestly, though, where did they find so many bad actors?

Uh oh, this bad vampire is the best looking one, I think!!
Can Bella choose him? can she! Team Babe Evil Vampire!
He's insatiable!

Why can't they just do it already!
Whoa for minute there I thought was going to give him a bj but she was just laying her head on his chest. BORING.
Wait. How can vampires get boners if there's no blood flowing to their dicks??

Is this scenery CGI? if not, let's move there.

"You feel something else for me, you just won't admit it!"
hahahahahaaaaa this is exactly how I feel about all of my top 5 crushes. Why won't they just admit it??

(What the eff is going on in these posters, they are for sure jokes, right?)

Wait, maybe the dad is hot. I dig his mustache.

Ohhh shit, I forgot I put the yogurt in the freezer, I hope it's not fully frozen!
(update: it's still good!)

Ha, in movies frequently hate is really envy. In real life it's usually just hate.
I mean, sometimes I envy people I dislike, but it doesn't mean that I dislike them any less.

I need to be doing about 4 other things for this movie to be entertaining.

"Aw, man, sorry about you breaking your hand on my face"

Seriously? Seriously everyone is after Bella? Who even cares! Did you see the other human girl's boobs? No one's fighting over her. I don't follow.

ha, I would have loved to be on set with all these vampires acting against CGI wolves.

Do all the dude vampires have to have awful hair? You lose your life and you lose your right to good hair?

Aww the CGI wolf wants affection!
You could have a boyfriend and a pet all in one! Best deal!

The pretend history in this movie is killing me.
It's like those heritage moments on TV.

I would pay $1000 dollars to have that redhead's hair. If I had any money. (wow, apparently last liveblog I said I'd kill for it, I guess it's becoming less important to me.)
Would you think I was weird if I started wearing wigs?

Hmmm. I think he might actually not own a shirt.

How do I arrange to be in a movie where I get carried through the forest by a muscly shirtless man?

Whoa, is the werewolf actually trying to convince her that she should be in love with the vampire and him??

"I can sense how you feel, physically"
sexxxxxy
"I promised I wouldn't kiss you again, until you asked"
sexxxy. so far this teen wolf is the only interesting thing going on. And he's awful!


hahahhaaa her dad is trying to give her "the talk"

"dad just don't worry about us using protection, edward is old-school"
"is that code for something?"
Yeah code for him being DEAD.

How is she possibly even considering marrying him when she hasn't even sampled the goods?
SAMPLE THE GOODS ALREADY.

go Bella!! Talk him into doing it! Yeeeeeah!!

Sex where you could get killed seems hot!

BAHAHAHAA Edward is such a prude. No sex til marriage.

Yayayayay ring. Now he's worth marrying. Oh man, what if she marries him and he turns her into a vampire and he still won't put out. WORST. omg that'd be such a rip.

I am so unbelievably sick of watching this. Wow.

Yeah I am 100% on board with this sexy new vampire. So babin'.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT this shirtless muscle werewolf is getting into bed with her while her cold dead vampire fiance watches?? WEREWOLF SEXYTIME WIN.

I have to tell you, the werewolf is a billion times sexier than the vampire in this movie.
VAMPIRE:          WEREWOLF:
whiney                     sarcastic
prude                         sexy
sparkly                      tattoos
pansy                       bossy
                 except:
sweet                        obnoxious
less ugly                   pretty ugly


"you'll warm up soon, faster if you took your clothes off"
werewolf is winning. x 1000.


awww werewolf vampire heart-to-heart
(I wonder if bella had to be there for the whole time while they shot this or if she got to go hang out in her trailer eating celery sticks)

And then when they woke up on their mountaintop campsite had turned into Narnia!

fucking green screen!? Amazingly bad. Didn't this movie have a budget?

Holy doesn't she know it's bad to make out with other people when she's engaged!?
Sexy hands on hips happening.
Vampire is going to have to step up his game!


Wait a second here. No one's mad that she loves both of them?
How do I get my own situation like this? wtf unfair.

ohhh good, the bad hot vampire is coming! that means maybe she could date all three of them!

oh no! the hot vampire! Now he only has one arm! I would still like him!
Whooooops, gone now.

I'm not sure how I feel about this whole broken-head way of the bad vampires dying. It seems dumb. Unlike the rest of this movie.

Is this movie really still going on? Really?

"Whoa too bad about how you fractured one entire side of your body fighting for my life. I'm still choosing the dead guy!"

this is painful. painfully bad.

If I were the director, I think I would have done this under an assumed name.

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!!!!!

Wait, is this a Metric? yiiiiiiiikesssssssss (hahahaha wolf-dangler)
And now Florence & The Machine?
Hmmm

yay! I made it out alive!
Congratulations to me!
Also congratulations to anyone else who made it through that.

hey... george

Hey, George. from Michael Pierro on Vimeo.

Hey guys, a short I did awhile ago with some of my favourite people is now online (see above, obviously) and you can watch it!
This is the one we had at Worldwide this year, and I really like this movie. So, watch it if you like! And then comment to tell me if you think I should get a chin implant. Or at least some of the fat sucked from out of my neck. (jk gosh)

Whoooops, I really thought I posted this way earlier today. I'm a bit out of it, think I'm succumbing to having a cold finally. Not finally like "I've always wanted a cold!" but finally like "I keep thinking I'm getting a cold and now it's here".

It's getting darker later already. The end of winter is coming. Eventually.

"I remember you, you called me a douchebag"

Hi there!

Here is a video I made yesterday about blushing. All I do is blush. I blush so much.
This is a partial list of the reasons why.



Life's super fun and yesterday I got a lot done on this one project, like 2 hours solid of writing. I mean, sure I'd suddenly find myself wandering around the apartment even though I was sure I was still settled down writing but then I just had to re-wrangle and sit myself back down and get back to it.



Anyway, so I probably shouldn't have gone out, shoulda worked that while it was working but I did kind of feel like I'd earned some time on the town (wow, I constantly think I deserve so many things that I don't really.).

And I will get back to it tonight. I have to because I'm meeting my friend to talk about it tomorrow. I love deadlines! It's the only way anything ever gets done around here. I need more of them in my life.

So I went and met BDWF for a drink at Commie and it was suuuuper packed. Except not actually that packed but packed right up with musicians that either I knew or BDWF knew or both of us knew. It was kind of nuts how many people were there. And nice people. And some babes. Unfortunately BDWF is a babe and so no one could hit on me because they assumed some things. That's okay though because
a) they wouldn't have hit on me anyway
b) if they did I would have just been rude, so good try
c) I'm still on BabeBreak. In theory.


Haaaaaaaanyway, I talked BDWF into going over to Huey's with me because my friends were DJing and my other friends were dancing and, oh yeah, it's a weekly 50s and 60s dance party there on Wednesday nights now!
So you should come next week!


And we can spin ourselves around!




Awww DJ Slippers and DJ LK, I will forgive them for not having Runaround Sue because they are just too adorable.
And because they did play some prrrretty fun dance tunes.

smooth rock sign.

this guy was looking at me so I took his picture.




Oh, good, Noodle's doing some work. for once. (jk)


We totally started the dance party. and be "we" I mean "I".



Cheespie was being pretty cute.

we took multiple pictures our ourselves. You're welcome for not posting all of them.



hahahhahah we love mustaches!



Deadline approaches. I gotta go to work for once. First I have to put on mascara!
I hope I make 8 hundred dollars...