from here to there (I should be sleeping)

it's almost moving day!
it's almost moving day!
so so so many goddamned things to pack still!



I'm feeling a great deal of anger towards every person who has ever given me a thing. All these things? I now have to move these things! So many things!
Nah, man, I love my things. I make Turkey Bird a bit nervous with how much I love my things and how many things I own!



Turkey Bird and I are moving to Parkdale. We found a main floor apartment with a backyard as big as a farm!!!!! it's so big!
We are going to buy hammocks and maybe a slip'n'slide and we'll have fires in our firepit. YES WE WILL THANKS.

I'm feeling a slight melancholy about leaving the Ossington Dreamhome, but it's made better by having such a beautiful space to look forward to. A new neighbourhood (right beside Carla Ghee and her mister, even!) and new things to decorate and explore.



It's been a good run here, though. I don't know if I'll ever have a bedroom as beautiful as this one again. And having a million roommates has been exactly what I needed.



When I moved out from living on my own for 7 years I was looking to have people around, learn conflict resolution skills, not freak out if people touched my shit. That sort of thing.
I've grown oh-so much in these past 2 years. I would recommend roommates to anyone! Even the hard parts, because it's learning and figuring out ways of being.





It's been so nice and so challenging, and so many changes. And for more than a year now it's been the same us four here and that's been great. I'm going to miss Cpt. Heh SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, even though he drives me BANANAS like whoa.
I'm glad that he and I got to live together at some point in our lives because I've considered him a best friend for so long and it was nice to be close again and know each other. Aw aw aw.
(also I'm still annoyed because he doesn't do anything and drinks all my apple juice hahahhaaa)





what times we've had! what a beautiful life! I honestly wouldn't trade any of this (jk tiny parts of it for sure were no good!).














moving day June 1st two years ago. Crazy! I had no idea what to expect in this place. I have no idea what to expect in this new home. I am ridiculously excited for it, though, and to have Turkey Bird by my side and taking care of me like I take care of her. Thanks craigslist for delivering Turkey Bird into my life. And thanks universe for getting us our cool new Parkdale farm!

Pictures to come soon, just as soon as we get there!

p.s. --- we have a dishwasher and a working fireplace!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys, I've discovered the key to my writing!
It's having Turkey Bird waiting to go for tacos with me, man I've done so much while keeping her waiting!

I probably should stop keeping her waiting.

If anyone hits on me tonight I'm going to yell, "FRIDAY, MORE LIKE TRY-DAY, AM I RIGHT??"
aaaaaand now we know why I'm always single
ahahaaaa no one was wondering.

PS -- I know where all your ex-boyfriends are, they're all on okcupid.com and I've looked at all their profiles! The internet. What a place, man.

My day today consisted mainly of being in wardrobe. I booked a thing which I will tell you all about when it's airing or maybe after I'm all done and finished shooting.
It's different being in this place a second time around. A few years ago I booked sooo many things in one year. Then nothing. Then nothing real for a long while. It's made me way more wary. But since I did the farting spot recently:

I feel like the curse I had has been a bit broken. Curse on my own self for feeling not-good-enough, not-confident? Curse put in place by a real rude witch? I don't know, man.
Either way, I'm happy to be back to a place where I feel like I'm real cool beauty who can book real cool things.

Yep. Real cool beauty. 

I got to try on a million wedding dresses! I said I wanted to get married this year, and this is... better? At least I'm not marrying some turd I barely know? 

Anyhow, more later. 

Also, already (only on fitting day, not even on shoot day) there's already two people I've worked with before and both are like "oh yeah, you are very funny" LIKE THAT'S A THING!  a thing is that I'm funny. Oh so nice. Also, hang around with me because I'm murdering it these days and you'll want to like indiegogo all over my face. 

Then after all this serious business meeting all day, I had celebratory drinks with Carla Ghee and her manly love, Mr. Gee (baaahaha) and I said, "hey guys, imagine if we don't end up finding a place for August 1st? maybe think about it and could I live in your spare room for one month if I paid you so much money?" and instead of thinking about it they announced that the idea would be "pure joy" which is..... oh MAN do you guys even know how much I love these people? 

Growing up fiercely unpopular and struggling with how to even be an honest person but also a cool person and also a person that people can stand to be around... and now to have this fucking rad little magic beasts being like "no kidding you can live with us no problem bring home all the babes you want" is just like................ HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY? 

hopefully by being an honest cool person. hopefully. 

Okayokayokay sleep now. I'm thinking I'll keep my bridal hair tomorrow because, hey, the higher the hair the closer to Jesus. 

Another blog post! Here's a post! For you!

Hey, if I go out less and stay in more, and avoid more creative projects by blogging, we all win!

Big things that are going on in my current life:

a) we're moving. August 1st apparently. Pray for us to find the best apartment and find it soon! We're looking at a few places and waiting to hear back on one we rather loved... It's tough and a bit stressful!

b) I'm feeling better about my creative stuff/acting stuff than I have in awhile. The ongoing curse I felt I was under (curse of feeling not-good-enough, curse of self-sabotage, etc) seems to be lifting. I've got to keep this on the upswing.

c) I get to be a bridesmaid at Carla Ghee's wedding next summer! aw aw! I'm excited for her to be marrying such a kind and lovely man who is my dear friend as well. And I'm excited for the fun party that this surely will be.
Carla Ghee and I have been spending more time together than ever before and I'm finding it nothing if not the best. What a kind, warm, and easy-going woman. Also so fucking funny that it's unreal. What a treat!

(which reminds me, I still need to post all the photos from my very dear Violet's wedding. So much to catch up on, it's unreal.)


Okay, now more about my big trip, there's so much to say and so many photos to post. I really underestimated.

(Moleskine from Violet for my trip! I did a lot of writing in here [never enough, of course] and it was a super nice thing to store all my keepsakes in.)

It's still hurting my feelings to go through my pictures from London and Paris, but at the same time, I really am happy to post them. Hopefully I keep on with the uploading!


You may remember Charlton from last year's trip to NYC. He's now my travel bud and he's so tiny and just the best thing to clutch in my fist. What a cute!


This is from the train in from Gatwick. Oh, the trains, guys! I love love love love taking trains! I'd live in England just to train around all the time!
Seeing the British countryside for the first time was neat neat. My mum's parents came over from Britain when Granny was pregnant with Mum and a lot of the stories I grew up with were British ones, and the only country I feel any sort of actual tie to (besides Canada, of course!) is England. I felt super pleased with the train and the countryside and I wept a little (from exhaustion and nerves? maybe.) while looking out at all the little houses with their millions of chimneys.


I was beyond lucky that my friend who's living in London these days encouraged me to take this trip and then offered me his living room for the week I was there. OUTRAGEOUSLY NICE.
And it wasn't just a normal living room, it was a big room with a big TV, a door I could close, a huge blow-up bed, and one of the most comfortable couches I've ever napped on or sat on.
I cannot get over this guy's hospitality. And his roommates' hospitality! What terrifically nice folks!

Also, he met me at the train station and brought me on the tube back to his place. He got me an Oyster card (for tube and bus travel in London) and a coffee! What the eff! The two things that I so badly needed the moment I stepped from the train.

This was the view from the living room.

So many double-deckers going by non-stop! Double-deckers are so fun!

The area was beautiful and perfect and there were all the shops I needed right around, and pubs and dreamboats of babes. Man, I don't know, no wonder people travel and travel and never stop. But how do you get over the missing of it? I'm tearing up right now with nostalgia! ha!



I bought flowers and treats and Sainsbury's has a whole line of gluten-free products!
My stomach was wonky for the first few days so I did watch a lot of British television.

Ginger beer was my lord and saviour amen during these days. Not that I needed to be drinking alcohol. Leave me alone.
(the liquor store here sells ginger beer and I have some in my fridge I keep forgetting and I'm extra excited to drink it now)

Anyhow, Britain's Most Embarrassing Bodies!
I can't get over that this is a TV show!
I can't get over how much they show! I saw breasts and penises on this show! I saw a guy get surgery on his curvy penis! He was sooooo happy when it was fixed.


My host showed me around the city and gave good advice on where to go and what to see. Also, he's super interested in history and is full-fledged in love with England (even though he grew up mostly in Canada) so he was a constant stream of information and a cool tour guide!



(vegan buffet place thing that my host took me for lunch one day and it was so boho and so charming and delicious and yes please. all those pots in the window, that's all the food. It was crazy packed just a few minutes before I took this.)

I felt rather... at home in Britain. I liked how people spoke and I like how everything looked and it all kind of made sense to me! I had been a little bit worried that everyone in London would be so much more beautiful and chic than me, but nope, I was clearly just not even thinking! I mean, everyone was lovely but I maybe think that Toronto has the most beautiful people I've ever seen. And New York. But also Toronto.
I said to my host, "In Canada I'm like a 7, but here I'm basically a 9.5" and he said, "always a 12, but I see your point" aaaawwww.



Classically, I immediately got a crush, luckily on my host's roommate. I only say luckily because it's handy to have someone nearby who is too cute! British sense of humour, man! I can't actually tell if some of them are funny or if I just prefer the way they deliver everything all the time.
Anyhow, I didn't get to see enough of this roommate, and I wasn't as forward as I should have been seeing as I was on vacation, but I did encourage him to come to Paris with me. I like to think he almost came and met me. It's stupid when people have jobs and can't just take off on a whim and meet up for a week in Paris.
Imagine!?
I have no pictures but you'll have to trust me that he was adorable and if he comes to Canada you'd probably want to hold his hand or some nonsense.



I was coming home the second night I was there, after seeing Louis CK (!!!) and after picking up some falafels and chatting up the handsome Turkish falafel guys and I was going to eat my falafels in the park across the road but I saw there were lights on in the living room window and I thought "I bet the roommate is hanging out in there sort of waiting for me to come home!" so I rushed upstairs. He tried to pretend like he should vacate my room but I was having none of that and I made him stay up way way late with me drinking weird horrible tiny drinks like Cherry B and a weird tonic and talking about everything in the world.


"she's got massive tits and he's staring right at them!" - the roommate about the Magnum Tonic (best read in a British accent, of course)
Like, maybe he was mad about the terrible Cherry B hangover I caused him, but probably not too too mad.

(I'm writing casually about this on here because a- who cares and b- I'm considering being more frank with whatever the eff I feel like writing about [respecting others' privacy of course] on here because no one reads it now which is kind of awesome and c- I'm into good stories)


Look at the cool things from the supermarket! I would pay so much money for some of those pre-mixed pimm's cans right now. Love love love.


I took several pictures of signs that said "To let" because I thought it was utterly hysterical that you could just add an "i" in the middle and it would said "Toilet!" Is this just a joke that Brits have gotten over? Why isn't every sign graffitied this way??


I was super enamoured with these doors, which were much more impressive in real life and the building was twice as long as all this blah blah anyhow, I like buildings!


One evening I met up with a lovely Toronto lady who was living in London and she took me to a bar with a teepee on the roof! It was so windy it felt like it would blow over at any moment but it did have hot rum drinks and a fire to roast marshmallows. We went to see some comedy as well and yep, there are comedy babes in London. In case you were wondering.


Okay, that's all I've got in me for now. Still things to say about England. And mostly next about Brighton. Brighton. And the countryside! One million sighs.

How would I even start if I were to start posting again on here?
All the millions and millions of things that have happened in the past few months! And even when I was still posting occasionally, everything slips away.



I've had several inquiries lately as to what happened to this and why I don't post anymore. That is the nicest. That anyone still cares about this dipshit of a blog.
I'm just busy!
I spend way less time by myself these days. It feels like I am always at work or out and about.
And if I am home I'm usually doing something stupid like watching TV or just looking at all of Facebook forever.
And if I'm going to be writing I should definitely be putting that writing time into any of my numerous creative projects.
Can I get a job just thinking up ideas for movies for me to star in? And then other people can complete the writing part? Yeah, someone get me that job.



I do feel like having Instagram and Twitter and Facebook updates is just as good as having a blog? No, I guess not.

I was posting to Tumblr for a little bit, worth looking at I would say. ohmistletoe.tumblr.com. Maybe I'll post there again. I feel I can do a different kind of writing there.

I've been feeling quite under the weather, emotionally, lately. For awhile now. I know that I need therapy but the idea of seeking out a therapist seems tough! And I'm tired. Haa, it seems like therapists should be more proactive in finding patients since depressed people are bad at getting things done!

I keep thinking how I'm not, like, depressed, because I'm not sad about anything in particular and everything is actually fine and stuff, and then I realize that that's how depression works!
I've become mildly convinced that this recent spell of being down is owed to how I don't cry enough anymore. I can't remember the last time I really wept.
I tired to start it out the other night by watching videos of pets being reunited with their owners.

This one kills me!

So, I'm not sure what I'm planning on doing about it. A problem with this depression is that I do think it's a bit character-flaw related, and not physical as much. I know that if I were doing the kind of personal, creative work that I need to be doing that I would be feeling oh-so much better. I would bet you $400.

I have more money coming in right now than I've ever had before. It's SO STRANGE. It's really nice. I  oscillate daily on "I should buy myself all the gifts" and "hoard all the money forever and ever, it's fun to have so much money hanging 'round"
HAHAA I'd like to point out here that "so much money" to me is probably less than what most people always make, and I'm just using it to pay off all my debt. It's nice still, though!
Having a bit of income just makes everything feel easier and smoother. It's not the end of the world if I have to cab from audition to work, it's no big deal to buy 5 dresses from value village because they're all just too beautiful, I can own two computers and not feel terribly guilty.

A nice thing I've noticed about having more money is that I can now donate bits of moneys to causes and to indiegogo campaigns and things! It's nice.

Also, we are moving August 1st (end of the Ossington Dreamhome era!) and my roommate, Turkey Bird, and I are in the middle of setting up viewings of two-bedroom apartments for ourselves and it's great not to have to worry about getting a slightly more expensive apartment, and it's going to be utterly luxurious to hire movers!
Guys, I'm nervous about getting a place!! I just want the most beautiful apartment with a beautiful yard! I want it to be settled.

I'm super pleased that Turkey Bird wants to get a place with me. She's just the nicest lady and so easy to be around. We have pretty opposite schedules so when we do get to see each other, it's a treat. I'm looking forward to making a beautiful home with her.
I'm sad not to live with the boys anymore, but I'm ready to have less roommates, and I'm certainly ready to stop having to clean up after people (until I have babies!!!!).
When I first moved I did want lots of roommates and a friendly, social house, and I've loved this experience. I love my room and all the best times I've had around here.
It's just time for a new part.
Exciting! And sad!


(all the locks in Paris)

Well, guys, I went to Europe. I went to England and I went to France! I spent a week in London and a week in Paris. It seems very surreal in retrospect and there are these very clear memories and then other parts that just seem made up. If you don't follow me on Instagram, I do recommend it, Instagram is one of my very favourite things. I love photos. instagram.com/ohmistletoe.
I still have some more photos that should get posted. Or printed. But I did post all the best ones to Instagram.


(Paris rhino)

I can't really sort through them right now and look at them all because it makes me feel very sad. (edit: I did quickly upload just a few, which are posted here. Now I feel sad. I miss everything all the time!)
I love travelling!
A bad thing is how attached I get to places, though, now I just want to go back to England and France! It would never be enough time. London more than Paris I miss, and Brighton most of all.
I don't know if I would live in Brighton, but... no, sure, yeah, let's move to Brighton!


(rue mouffetard in Paris)

I wish I'd known when I was in England and France at the end of March that when I got back my summertime job would change and I'd be making so much more money than ever before. I would have been less worried/cautious, and I could have bought all of you more gifts!
(hahaaa although, I still have gifts for people that I haven't even given out! Worst! I'm the worst!)
Actually, you know, my trip was just so, so lovely and what an insanely lucky woman I am to have gotten to go!
Good for me for just booking a trip and GOING.

Much more travel in my future, I assume.

(blossoms and the shard, London)
Oh, a thing though: I love Toronto. I lovelovelove Toronto these days.
It's not just that I know the most beautiful wonderful geniuses, and get to have the best times, it's also that this city is huge but has huge trees, the downtown is awful/beautiful, but the island is like being at a cottage, and there's so many parts to the city I haven't even seen yet!
I went down to Sunnyside beach for the first time the other day, and guess what? gorgeous. And I haven't even begun to explore High Park!
I'm excited to keep living here over the years!
(although... NYC, especially, you know...)


Look at my beautiful friends! These are who I get to hang out with!

I went to a beautiful event yesterday, a fundraiser for a play written by my childhood best friend, Prune. It was an early-evening social event, bourbon and gin cocktails, oysters and live jazz.
Why don't we do more things like this all the time? I know I keep saying beautiful, but it really was.


I hear the city is flooded right now. Our roof is pretty severely leaking. A good time to move! I stayed in this evening, drank a couple of celebratory ciders, and napped. I think it's now finally time for me to go back to bed. I love sleeping. Having days off is such a wonderful thing.

Hey, maybe I'm a blogger again now? We'll have to see, I guess.