March 13

Lovely weather today. If it were Christmas today, I mean.
Yesterday like, what, 12 above? And then 30 below overnight tonight. It's giving-up weather.

Here are some things about lately:


Actra awards a couple weeks ago. I had a really, really fun time. I generally do. I got right drunk and then wandered around looking for my various crushes, found one and made him dance with me and he was a surprisingly good dancer.
Good dancers, man.
If I ever cheat on my husband I hope it's for that reason. "He was just... dancing, man" (I will call my husband "man" only)


My room, lately. I've gotten a lot of stuff up on the walls, finally. It feels much nicer in here to me now. I am such a stuff-person.
"The only thing I like better than stuff? Things!" - my mother

We put the papasan chair back together wrong and we rather like it. WHAT REBELS THIS HOUSE HOLDS!


I never thought I could think a black cat was so beautiful. Does that make me a shallow and terrible person? Certainly it does. Anyhow, I'm proven a decent person by changing, by growing. And now I know the beauty of Chanel. She looks so different to me all the time and her face is just so rude and beautiful! It bites me so much! She's a weird muppet to hold in my arms!
And just look at the tufts of fur between her toes. My favourite.



All I have to take photos of these days is me, Chanel, and my house. It's good not to go out all the time but also I miss it. I'm eager eager desperate for real spring. And even more so for full-summer.
Making out on playgrounds in the middle of the night, and bike rides on the island. Oh holy god it doesn't even seem possible right now.



I was on a date and my date's friend made this bead arrangement and I thought it was surprisingly lovely! I was very pleased.

When said date decided he was done going on dates with me because I'm not the kind of person one tries to settle down with these days and because I wasn't being nice enough. I felt sad (not rightfully sad, selfishly sad) and I took myself on a date to the Communist's Daughter where this guy lives:

If you think to yourself "Meredith, why don't you fall in love with him?" don't worry I've already considered it and will continue considering it for about a million years, I bet. We do love each other, though. And we speak frankly and caringly and he's so nice for a hug. If you had a bartender like this in your life you'd feel better. I'm happy sitting at the counter on my own, writing, drinking red wine and having bits of talks with him. Very happy.


If you are going to get your hair cut I have to recommend more than anyone in the world Melody at Quinn West. She's the only reason I can have short hair. Also Nicole (pictured here) went to see her and then gushed forever about her and also Melody made Nic's hair so glorious that it went straight to her head and she acted extra-bratty all evening because of it (in the best way, really).



I am tired of wintertime-dressing and my wintertime-face. I have a spring face or a fall face. Maybe a summer face, but definitely enough winter face.

View from Dollface's place where I was house-sitting a few weeks ago. A beautiful city.

The light from all of the windows at Dollface's house means that I took all the photos of myself.



I do think my eyes are getting bigger in my old age. I liked my friend's theory that our heads shrivel and so our eyes look bigger. Also all the mascara.

It's nice to recap like this and look at these photos and see how beautiful my life is these days.
I've decided that absolutely no one reads this anymore except my family and maybe two people, so I'm happy enough to write whatever the f I like, which is a supernice treat since all I like is honesty.

It's a really, really nice life I'm leading and I have to listen to that and use that as a place to go from.
Lately it's been hard not to feel less-than and jealous and wanting and especially
nnnnnnot-good-enough

and the truth is that I have plenty of talent and plenty of looks, and my life is just different from every single other person's life. It's not less-than or better-than, it's just mine.
And since I've been happy, since I am happy, and plan to continue being really happy, then I'm doing a good job.

I think sometimes we don't give enough credit just for living well.
What good is any type of success or talent or beauty if you're not enjoying it?