sickish

Been feeling kind of sickish this weekend and took the opportunity to huddle-down with Netflix and cats.

Yep, both of them slept beside my legs. I wasn't allowed to touch Béa of course or she'd nip at me. But still!

It's nice to have a bit to sit around and feel sorry for myself and wallow in melancholy and all that. Sometimes even when I know things are for the best, it's still sad for a minute. That's okay, that's okay.

So, I just watch TV forever.
Movies movies movies.
I watched The Other Woman and Fish Tank on Saturday while feeling whiny. Cool moves. Both are good! Cried all evening. So cool!

The Other Woman

Don't watch this trailer unless you like knowing everything about movies. I don't like knowing anything about movies before I watch them.
I feel like the name of this one is misleading. This is more than about being the other woman, it's a study of greif and family and desires versus realities and how hard love in all forms can be.
I cried through all of it, basically, obviously.

Fish Tank

this trailer is good, doesn't give it all away.
This one is at times slightly hard to watch, kind of disturbing. But beautiful and honest in a way that I really like. Strong performances and quite heartbreaking.

Saturday night after watching those I concluded that comedy is pointless and all I'd ever want to create is beautiful, difficult, art. I only want to play sad characters and make heartbreaking movies for you to cry over.
Ha!
No, I do feel like that sometimes and I have an irrationally strong fear (irrational because this would require even mild success on my behalf) of being pigeonholed in comedy and not taken seriously as a dramatic actor.
hahahahaahahaaaaaaaaa
HAAHAHAHA
HAHAAH
ohhhh lordy, Meredith. What cool moves you have, being worried about things that will never happen because you never do any work.

Have I said anything about Tiny Furniture?

I've been wanting to see this for awhile (ever since I hear about this woman born in 1986 getting her own new drama for HBO based on this one feature, basically) and now it's on Netflix!
This film is so good. so good.
I mean, I knew that this film was basically designed for me exactly, but still. So much about it. Particularly the body image/appearance stuff and the young creative class stuff and the stuff about dating these days, etc, etc, etc.



I've heard some funny resolutions this year and one of my favourites has been Violet's resolution to become a good gift-giver. As long as I've known her, Violet has not been interested in the sport of gift-giving, in any capacity. But she's starting to get good!
Anyhow, I sort of forced her into buying me some awesome metal snowflakes, and she also got me this pearl necklace.

Pretty!
Extra useful since I've been looking to become a more classy of lady and I've pretty much exclusively been wearing pearl studs.

(as an aside, Nic didn't know what a pearl necklace meant, in sex-terms, until yesterday. she thought it meant "oral sex, in general". I love her.)


(also Killary got me this Merry Mistletoe lip gloss for Christmas and it is more than fitting and makes me smile to look at it.)

It turns out, for me, 28 is the year that I start being mildly nervous of aging. It all starts to go so quick!
They say your perception of time speeds up the older you get and so each year seems quicker than the last and I would say that that is true, true, true!

What did I yell at a bar the other day? "IT'S GETTING TOO LATE FOR ME TO PRETEND TO ANYONE I DON'T WANT A MILLION BABIES"
classsssssssssssic, beyond classic.



Soooo. I think I'm in love with Odette.
Look how stoic and patient she is with me! What a sweet, soft darling. Like a baby seal pup.
She is just so, so lovely. What did I do with my time before I had cats to chase around all day?
My roommate is out of town so the cats are forced to be friends with me. I went to sleep with both (!) of them sleeping on my bed and I woke up with both (!) of them still there. Miracles of miracles. I bet they had a billion adventures galloping around in the night, though.
I wonder how many hours and hours of my life I've wasted away spending time trying to make cats pay attention to me...

We had our first meeting with our new improv team and coach last night but beforehand we may or may not have passed a bottle of $6.95 wine and talked about our feelings. I loved it. We loved it.
Then the meeting/work went really well. I've missed improv! (we've been doing premise work and writing more with my con class these days, getting away from regular improv and long-form)
So I reversed my position on doing only sad, sad, big, important art and went back to thinking that in order for me to have the best, most funtime ever that improv and comedy as a whole are going to continue being 100 billion times important to me.
Obviously, obviously.
Aaand I love my team. Serious, fierce love right now for them. So excited for getting to work and play with them.


(this cranberry jalapeno jelly from my friend is so, so, so good! jfyi.)