I feel a barfy and wallowy about how much of a shit mood I'm in.
I'm not sure I have any sort of great reason. And it's not really like me these days.
(oh, also, before proceeding, I'd like to point out that everything is bottom-line fine.)
Not that it hasn't been like me in the past!
Man, remember when my college voice teacher told me, "you put your bad mood on everyone"?
That was a classic and true fucking statement. Good call, that guy.
Maybe it's the time of year catching up with me. It's usually late January that I start to feel pretty sad about things and want to hibernate... It wasn't as bad last year, mostly due to having the best friends (my bender gang was the most fun) and also my decision to be the kind of person who works hard to have fun. (and also, possibly, the lack of gluten in my diet, but that's a whole other entry.)
There's a bunch of stuff that's kind of getting to me today. And most of it could be cleared up with a few thousand dollars. I've no desire to be a real rich guy, but some money would sure make my life run smoother!
I am working a lot a lot this month, in a nice way, but I'm worried about next month and the month after. And also WORRIED ABOUT MY LIFE, IN GENERAL.
Yeah, it's not the money, it's that I'd like to find something to do with my time where:
I made money
I had a billion fun
I felt like there was a point to it.
(hahahahahhahahahhaahhaahahahahahhha ugh.)
Man, guys, if the only actual success in life is being happy.....
Which is something I've been thinking about more and more. This might be true to me. The ONLY success in life is being happy.
Hhhmm.
Also, I don't like getting my hopes up about things. I don't like having all my eggs in one basket unless it's the ultimate best basket. I don't like that at 28 there's still so much of the time where I'm dealing with other people being giant babies.
I mean this in several regards.
If the only success in life is being happy then I need:
Family (including partner if one so happens to become a part of my life)
Best Friends (I have this covered at least)
Baby (or several. maybe this should be included in family but it's separate still.)
Creative Outlet (acting, writing, comedy, art)
Kittens
Nice Place to Make a Home
Enough Money
Man, I'm totally leading a charmed life right now and I know I need to pipe down.
At least I'll go and walk Kaya soon and then walk to work in the rain and last night work made me feel better (super shock) so hopefully that'll happen again.
The only thing I'm not stressed out about today is my Second City conservatory classes. And my new improv team and my possible new sketch group. Ha. That's good!
I had a very fun show last night and I can feel that it's going to be possible (eventually) to get to the sort of confidence level/place that I am going to need.
I'm going to be very, very good.
And probably sooner than later. Which is nice.
Here's WayneJones being so pleased with himself. And I like it.
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