hi hi hi
I only have a few moments until my mother's computer decides to shut itself off. So maybe this will never be posted. I am doing laundry. Free laundry. Many perks to Saskatoon, apparently!

I'm drinking a beer. Do I need this beer? No! Am I on holidays? Yes!

This is maybe the first time I feel like I've really earned a holiday in quite, quite awhile. I love sleeping and lying around reading, that's for sure!



Saskatoon is so ridiculously beautiful this year that it seems almost fake or made up. The hoar frost, man.
It's nice being back and seeing everyone, but I'm homesick for Toronto as well. I'm here for the right amount of time. Maybe a couple days longer would be okay, but I am looking forward to being back where I can walk everywhere, back where I know everyone, back in my bed, back hanging out with my buds.

We had a lovely Christmas, though. Very successful with many beautiful gifts and too much to pack into my suitcase, as per usual. I've been balancing out my laziness with lunches and dinners with old friends and trying not to get overwhelmed by family.
Old friends really know you, which is a treat. Hahaa, if they're good friends, I mean.



So, it's official. I'm going to England/Paris in March. I cannot afford this in any capacity!!! It is a terrible idea! Why did it happen? Well, I talked about it too much and I'm done with being one of those people who is always talking about things and never doing them. and then I found a roundtrip flight to London that was something like $830 all in and then, whoops, I booked it!
AAAADDDDVVVEEEENNNTTTTUUUURRRREEEE

Airbnb better come through for me. I'm going mostly on my own, though one of my favourite friends has a place in London he has kindly offered me a bed for some nights! Oh how lucky of a little lady, I am! 
I'm kind of shook with excitement about how fun going to Paris on my own will be. At first I was upset to not have a travel-mate, but now I feel pleased that I'll be rascal-ing around Paris on my own like a little imp in peace!




Okay, the computer ran out of patience for me so I'm finishing this up on my phone. Too much effort!
Let's talk again soon, BYEEE.

it's just always playing catch-up around here

(this is maybe my favourite picture I've taken recently)

I didn't have internet for a few days there!! it was the worst! I hated it so much and now I'm so behind on all my stories but maybe I'll quit watching my stories until after Christmas because I have SO MUCH to do and so many work shifts and SO many crafts to make and we have netflix on our TV now and there must be some Christmas movies on there? Right? Which ones? Any?


Look, Prune and I accidentally dressed like twins! we hadn't seen each other in a couple of months, even. And that's what happens. Classic.
We went to see Metric the other night at the ACC. I never get to go there as a guest so it was a pretty big treat. We also got to drink after the show with everyone in the upstairs club on account of I kind of know a couple of the dudes from that band from when we went to the cottage years and years ago and I ran into them last week and got pulled into partying forever with them:


I got carried around for awhile, I think? I also had the worst hangover of this year the whole next day and I'm pretty sure I announced to them that it was okay to party forever but I'd just QUIT MY JOB THE NEXT DAY DON'T WORRY LET'S GO TO AN AFTERPARTY.
Luckily I did not after party. Luckily. And I went to work, like a semi-responsible adult.

Also my outfit was beyond dumb (those earrings with that sweatshirt!), so big congrats to them for still being nice to me!



I love Cpt. Heh so, so much still. Which is good. Yesterday I made him go to the Christmas tree lot with me and carry home a tree!
(actually it was his idea, more. Which is great!)

I was very, very pleased. I've never had a tree this early, actually this is my VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS TREE, really! We decorated last year but we didn't have an actual tree, but this year Turkey Bird and I are both so into Christmas it would be dumb not to have one!
I was very handy last night and widened the cheap new tree-stand's holes with a drill all by myself and also sawed off the bottom branches of the tree with a bread knife! I wanted it to be all nice when Turkey Bird came home!
I forgot she was getting in late and I got a text in the middle of the night that said:
"OMG that tree is amazing"
and then:
"Our tree. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">hahaahaahahaaaa awww so beautiful I could weep.

I don't know when we're going to decorate it but we're going to do lots of craft ornaments like strung popcorn and cranberries which my mother NEVER lets me put on her tree. And orange slices and hopefully salt dough and gingerbread ornaments as well. I'm very, very interested in that!

Liiiike, maybe I lay under the tree for a bit last night.

my roommate, Turkey Bird, on her birthday wearing a party hat that Cheespie knitted for her! So cute!

Love a good Dirty Thirty!


this is what I look like most days at my office job when I'm sitting at my desk.

I got new glasses. They're alright but now that I'm devoted full-time to being good-looking (hahaaaaa) I hate hate wearing glasses. None of them are my favourite. I feel like a frump no matter what.


Look at this face I hang out with lots.



A big, big problem I'm having these days is that now when I don't feel like wearing make-up or doing my hair or putting on nice clothes I feel waaay worse than I ever did before.
Oh god, life is tough, I know.
Does that medium make sense, though?


This hat has changed my life. I think my life will become divided into two parts: Before Hat and After Hat.
Just kidding?
But it is a strange hat that has powers maybe, but I'm not sure how good those powers are?
I actually have way more to say about this but not right this minute because I don't have the time.





Wow, okay, good. You're updated a little bit then. I wear heels now sometimes. That's also a thing. A weird thing.
I like it for now. 

cold and cuddle season

I've been fighting a cold for about a week but for some reason last night/today it decided to get all up my business.


okay I'll post some pictures of myself on the internet.



I was in a cab the other night with a date and the date had a fierce beard and the long hairs and the cab driver was actually super concerned that this old man was kidnapping him. Even after I explained that the date was 9 months younger than me the cab driver kept insisting "look how old you are, look how young she is!" trying to show us in the rear view mirror to prove his point.


A crush of mine asked me a few weeks ago (a question he got from an online dating site), "what makes for a better relationship, dedication or passion?"
On account of I knew him and what he'd say and what he'd want to hear, I said, "well, only assholes would answer "passion" since passion fades and it's dedication that makes things work"
Of course of course of course of course.
Except if there was never any passion, then... there's no point to the dedication. It kills me when people try to commit to things and fully invest in places where there's no BIG NEWS (at least in the beginning).

There are two lines from Bright Eyes songs that get continually stuck in my head and this is one:
This weather has me wanting love more tangible

It's cold out and it gets dark so early,  and it's hard not to want to bed-in and cuddle-down and find someone to hold on to.

I'm not sure of what kind of dedicated love I'd be, but I assume I'd be good at it, if there were enough passion to start out with. I base my guess on how I care for my friends, how much I want to do anything for them and just know them forever. I base my guess on how I'd like to be a great love some day.

These days, though, my main talent is dedicating myself only to situations that aren't worth it or (especially) to people who aren't quite available.

I just took some nighttime cold medicine and just noticed I spent five minutes smoothing my hair over my face and eyes. So... that's good.
I apologize if none of this makes sense.

I think part of why interacting with people all the time tires me out so much is that I get distracted by how much good we all mean but there are so many ways it goes bad.
I'm constantly dissecting conflicts and interactions and choosing sides and changing my mind and running over what I would do or what they should do or how to go about life.
I'd like a minute for my brain to quiet itself.
I'd like to be the kind of person who doesn't care about relationships between humans, or arts, or creativity, or what things mean...

Let's all just lie around and listen to Joanna Newsom until we fall asleep, yes?

bits and vids

too many things to count on all my hands, I'll tell you that for free.
so many things going on.

whenever I sit down to write a blog it's forsure because I'm trying to avoid working on a bigger project. So, in a way blog updates are bad news. But I do apologize because I miss having a regular blog and keeping updated.


I'm always late posting pictures. But Dollface's family Thanksgiving this year was really excellent. I feel lucky that her family still lets me come! Her grandmother is my role-model, she buys giant easy-grip bottles of rye. Is that reason enough? Probably!



pants-free Thanksgiving. Super, super cute.
As much as I want a baby less than I have since being maybe 17, I am still super affected by little guys sometimes. Especially working the kids' shows at the theatre. The extreme amounts of cute are almost hard to take. I feel stressed out by kids' vulnerability.


Here's the tattoo that Dollface's bro drew for me to get. Perfection.


I think these are from the same weekend? Maybe. Got free tickets to a basketball game that I didn't have to work. Nice to be the one drinking the Smirnoff Ice instead of serving it foreverandever!



I fucking miss hockey. Don't get me started.


I'm still pretty much a relationship expert.

BYEEEEEEEE NOW.

(p.s. less than 2 months til christmas if you want to know what to get me, look here: pinterest.com/ohmistletoe/things-to-buy-for-me-as-gifts/ !!!!!)

he holds the golden books makes the rules

eeeeevery time I think I'm about to be less busy, then WHOOPS, no I'm not.
Not in a bad way, no siree.

(Here I am tearing up at Mrs. and Arrow's wedding. what a lovely day. So fleeting, this life.
It's really unreal how quickly it all slips by.)

I have been feeling less fantastic than what's become usual.
In fact, the other night I watched Downton Abbey and cried hard for half an hour, then set myself on fire.
Haaa, well, I mean, Cpt. Heh was making pasta (with butter-cheese sauce inspired by Honey Boo Boo's family recipe for "Sketti" [sauce=butter and ketchup] which was a massive failure because all the cheese just went a ball. a ball swimming in butter. ahahahaaaa so gross/good?) and I leaned across the stove to get some vitamin b (still up in that for sure) and set my scarf on fire and didn't notice for a moment or two until it had time to get a pretty big flame going.
Guess the property manager should fix the heat so I don't have to wear pashminas all day all night forever.

My other roommate, Slippers, told me that he thought I was a naturally busy person, but NO, GUYS. I'm the kind of person who used to need so much time alone, I used to not leave the house for days at a time. Now it's not at all unusual to be out of the house for 12 hours a day for a few days in a row.
Having fun. Too much fun to resist.

(looooooove this!) (good showcase of my hairdo I did it myself and I was pretty okay with it)

Today I did one very, very fun improv workshop and then I did a set as a part of Big City Improv Fest at the last minute, which was very, very fun.
I start a long-form improv class in a couple of weeks and have another workshop this weekend. Aaaand I have a couple of new teams/projects in the works. Pleased!

I had a bit of a reaction against improv (and maybe especially the whole community/who I felt like I was there/the extremity of it all) after finishing up the conservatory at Second City. It's weird to be so fully immersed in that world. I had to remember that I like other things. So many other things, I like!
But now, after this respite, I'm so wonderfully excited for improv again. I've heard from many other improvisers that they've also gone through times of removing themselves from it for a bit. It's necessary sometimes.

(This one just kills me, I love these two a ridiculous amount. And Mrs's dad is so cute here! He's a preist!)

(I was in charge of holding the golden book! Which it didn't occur to me that it was a bible until way later. Classic.)

okay okay okay okay now:
sleep
theatre office
dog walk
skydome
comedy bar
(brief snooze)
theatre office
comedy bar
theatre
assumably comedy bar
SLEEP
good. good good goooood gooood gooood.

office lady

I guess now I am not the kind of person who needs alone time. That, of course, is not totally true. I am spending way less time alone these days, though. Way less. I'm working so much and have so many friendships to tend to and babes to look at with my hands.


I'm working at the theatre a lot. I work in the office sometimes during the day and in the evenings I work front of house. It is different than working at the stadiums. What a treat to be able to wear ones' own clothing! I'm not kidding around at all.
I like the desk I sit at because it's in the middle of all the action and everyone socializes with me and everyone gets entertained by me and I give opinions on things no one even asked me about! So far no one seems to mind. My boss introduces me to everyone as a comedian and is constantly urging me to say funny things. Today he was very impressed with my outfit, thought it was just hysterical. "the hair!", he said. We discussed whether or not I looked like Jo Anne Worley.

(basically twins)

He came back at one point and I had removed the glasses and he was pretty incensed and demanded a reason. "I was interacting with patrons" I said and he said, "No leave them on, that's how they'll know we make art here."
So amazing.


I have a pretty good hangover going on today which I attempted to cure with lattes and mushroom poutine.




I borrowed that bracelet from my mother and I'm wearing it all the time lately. It's just so nice. I care about fashion now, guy. (not really only kind of.) I feel like clothes are a treat and picking clothes is a treat and I like putting different kinds of things on my body!!!!
Yes, I did take these photos at work, which is bad. Buuuut I did stay way late today dealing with a customer problem, soooo....



We had our first house party as this incarnation of roommates.
 Apparently Turkey Bird wandered around telling everyone how much she likes living here. Awww aww aww. It's a nice set up now, I'll tell you that for zero cost.


I cleaned my room up real good and everyone was shocked. I got rid of 3 giant garbage bags of shit recently so it was a bit easier. My room is so beautiful and romantic and I'll keep having parties if only to show it off.
I have three dressers. that's a true fact about me.
No undressers, though.
(terrible habit of making the worst dad jokes lately. am I compensating for not having a dad???)

I have a tendency to forget that I don't even like hosting parties! It was good, actually, it's just funny that you pressure all your favourite people to come over and then there's lots of other people and then you don't really have time to talk to anyone because you're hosting and you have to talk to people you don't even like thaaat much because you're a good host.
I hid in my room a lot with my good buds. And I drank, oh how I drank. Why were we drinking flavoured vodka out of the bottle while all sitting in my bed? I just don't know.


(brilliant screening choices)



Celebrated Nic's birth a little bit, though apparently I'm going to do more of that this evening. Lucky two birthday parties!


I duct-taped the cupboards shut and we got disposable cups. Good call! Easy breezy clean-up! (not that it's done yet, of course.)



I bought those prize ribbons to issue but no one was really worthy. I kept 'em all and everyone was pretty jealous I assume.

I love everyone so much these days. This is due in part to how happy I am, of course. But man, do I like people! So intricate and wonderful and awful!
I think people like me more these days because of how happy I am. I'm hopeful that it's not an arrogant sort of happy, or an obnoxiousness. I'm just glad to have this life and glad to be this guy.


yeah, so I bought these prescription sunglasses online and they came yesterday and I love them. Totally worth $20. mmhmm mmhmm. They are very silly but lightly tinted which means I can wear them inside all the time which means I'm now the best at being pretentious all day.