okay I'll post some pictures of myself on the internet.
I was in a cab the other night with a date and the date had a fierce beard and the long hairs and the cab driver was actually super concerned that this old man was kidnapping him. Even after I explained that the date was 9 months younger than me the cab driver kept insisting "look how old you are, look how young she is!" trying to show us in the rear view mirror to prove his point.
A crush of mine asked me a few weeks ago (a question he got from an online dating site), "what makes for a better relationship, dedication or passion?"
On account of I knew him and what he'd say and what he'd want to hear, I said, "well, only assholes would answer "passion" since passion fades and it's dedication that makes things work"
Of course of course of course of course.
Except if there was never any passion, then... there's no point to the dedication. It kills me when people try to commit to things and fully invest in places where there's no BIG NEWS (at least in the beginning).
There are two lines from Bright Eyes songs that get continually stuck in my head and this is one:
This weather has me wanting love more tangible
It's cold out and it gets dark so early, and it's hard not to want to bed-in and cuddle-down and find someone to hold on to.
I'm not sure of what kind of dedicated love I'd be, but I assume I'd be good at it, if there were enough passion to start out with. I base my guess on how I care for my friends, how much I want to do anything for them and just know them forever. I base my guess on how I'd like to be a great love some day.
These days, though, my main talent is dedicating myself only to situations that aren't worth it or (especially) to people who aren't quite available.
I just took some nighttime cold medicine and just noticed I spent five minutes smoothing my hair over my face and eyes. So... that's good.
I apologize if none of this makes sense.
I think part of why interacting with people all the time tires me out so much is that I get distracted by how much good we all mean but there are so many ways it goes bad.
I'm constantly dissecting conflicts and interactions and choosing sides and changing my mind and running over what I would do or what they should do or how to go about life.
I'd like a minute for my brain to quiet itself.
I'd like to be the kind of person who doesn't care about relationships between humans, or arts, or creativity, or what things mean...
Let's all just lie around and listen to Joanna Newsom until we fall asleep, yes?
Posts
