Then I suggest going to a wardrobe fitting, that'll snap you out of it.
No. It's fine.
I do like clothes and I really don't mind being pinned and poked and stuff. And I like being fussed over. I just don't like the parts where stuff doesn't fit over my fat arms or where things look really awkward and then everyone says so. And I don't like standing in front of groups of people especially when a bunch of them are the "client" who are depending on me to sell their product.
Also then the hair people came around and mentioned my roots but it a way that it made me feel embarrassed for dying my hair which is silly because obviously I dye my hair, it's not my fault it looks so beautiful and natural that you think it's real. So I'm touching it up today.
I'll probably eff it up and end up with red patches on my face or on my ears or maybe it'll somehow turn green or the roots will be a different colour than the rest or maybe I'll have an allergic reaction to the dye and I'll get hives and swell up and stuff. OH GOD life is stressful.
This is all fine. I'm very, very (beyond) grateful to get to do this commercial. I'm just nervous and even when I've booked a part I'm always still 100% sure they're going to
a) back out and hire someone else at the last minute
or
b) regret having hired me but now they're stuck with me and that's even worse
So many auditions lately. I had another recall this morning. This commercial is going to be very funny, I bet and maybe even sweet. If they get a proper babe to do it. And the director was ridiculously nice and sort of charming. And that always makes me feel more comfortable and able to work. Directors should always be encouraging. It makes the entire process more fun. I mean, I see that there are 15 other girls out in the waiting room, I know that I'm probably not going to get it, so there's not much point to going to these things all the time if they aren't enjoyable.
Haha, I just remembered that I wrote on my goal list that I wanted to do a commercial this month! Awesome. Now if only I complete everything else on this ridiculously long list.
I'm not scanning that list in because it's silly. But I will tell you it includes "Stop dicking around" as one of my main objectives.
You can look at this list though, it's about how I'm going to be a rapper really, really soon.
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