I'm a charmer
I've had two ex-boyfriends from summer 2001 email me this week to tell me I've been in their dreams lately. Though one xbf says he doesn't think of himself as being an xbf of mine, but that means he kind of does.
Both of these men (?) are nutso. But in sweet ways.
Lovely humans.
I don't believe in relationships and when I think back on interactions I've had with people I've dated, it seems pretend or made up in some way. Like a fairy tale or at least a Roald Dahl Revolting Rhyme.
I love my mum, and I even love this picture of her. This was on Christmas morning and she's wearing a pretty shirt.
I wish it were Christmas soon.
Oh except I have a serious boner for summer.
Another crazy xbf (who will not admit to being an xbf, which makes him all the more hilarious) and I were called back for the same part in that commercial yesterday. And he auditioned for the gum one I did. Actually, a lot of people I know auditioned for the gum one. But I got it because I'm the best (or at least have a lisp and look like an Amish person). It sure would've been awkward to have to fall in love over gum with that babe. He's so, so strange, self-involved and self-important. But to his credit, he seemed genuinely pleased with my recent success. And I know he has a good heart. It's just not functioning properly. Ha, but who's is?
I can write whatever I'd like about him on here because if he ever found this and bothered to read it I would have a heart attack and die of surprise. And then I would eat my hat.
The improv kids and I have a running email thread on Facebook right now that's caused some serious LOL-ing, if you know what I mean. Especially this part:
E:
"Because I'm not a rapist. Yes, I occasionally molest kitchenware. But fingerbanging G's teapot is hardly the same as forcing non-consensual anal sex on him.
Wait, is it unnecessarily repetitive to write "forcing non-consensual"? Does the "non-consensual" just imply "force"?"
G :
"No. I accidentally joined Columbia House, and while it was certainly non-consensual, it was gentle enough as to be a early winter snow fall."
It's funny because it's true. But you're still fucked, in the end.
Photos this morning, then working tonight (Matchbox 20!!!!), then maybe dance party. But I'm still so sick. What better to flush out my cold than dancing. Oh god.
I'm getting a little tired of the lack of commenting happening on this weblog. Hmmmmmm?
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