hoops and jokes

Dear Norman,
sometimes when I growl low and in my throat to myself late at night (it happens semi-frequently) and I'm drunk (also frequently) I feel a bit nervous. Ha! I'm bad at knowing where the beasts are.
hopefully.

We won tonight! I know you were at a sports bar on the prairies but I was at our beloved, most loved, top loved, Hoops. And I honestly feel a bit bad for how much I love Hoops considering how for pretty much 26 years of my life I DID NOT like sports and had NO INTEREST in sports and now I just feel most at home perched up on my high stool at the marble bar of Hoops. The glow of the big screen is tender and the bartenders like my jokes and I feel... safe. I feel warm and comforted. It's so ridiculous.
And also, I love our hockey team. I just think they're so nice. I don't like when they make smug faces or act like little bruisers because it hurts my feelings. Like, "I have your back, so you be nice"
I feel like with my public support and my trying to be a good person they owe me to try to be nice guys.
HAHAAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA hahahah professional athletes are the worst.

I was supposed to go a couple of different places tonight but I didn't want to. I just wanted to smile and sigh in a bar made of TVs. It was nice being on my own. I really watched the game and looked at the internet a bit and ate fries. Dream life. I did not feel the slightest bit weird being there on my own. Probably how you've felt in the past..?

Nic recommended I read Just Kids by Patti Smith and so that's taking up another bit of my focus.
I love personal stories. I think I actually only like things that are at least a little based on real life.

It looks like my friend from Saskatoon, who I'm sure I've nicknamed here but I can't remember now, is going to come to Paris with me for a minute or two. And we're going to go see Louis CK in London, I think! She's at Oxford right now and it'll be her break when I go there so I'm excited to see her and maybe visit her school!
I need to remember that I really want to go see local comedy in London.
I want to see comedy all the time.
I'm in love with how fucking funny the world is, and how funny everyone I know is. And I'm excited to keep learning about humour and comedy and how it all plays out.
I used to be worried that if I were to be a comedian I'd have to be so busy keeping track of all the funny bits and all the jokes and I'd never have time to enjoy them. I've also worried that if someone (especially a woman, for whatever various reasons) is a comedian they'll never be allowed to do serious dramatic work.
I now think that's a bullshit worry. LET'S ALL JUST TELL OUR STORIES. Let's tell our stories in the most honest ways possible with different slants or pointing out different things and it's just the details or reactions or situations that decide if it's drama or humour.
I love living.
I hope I get to be alive forever and ever. I hope I always appreciate this life.

miss you!!!