sometimes you cut like one inch off your hairs or something and it necessitates a whole whack of photos being taken of your own self.
I mean, like I ever need an excuse. Classic.
I bought this dress in Saskatoon over the holidays but yesterday was the first time I wore it. Insanely comfortable. I wore something underneath it when I left the house. I can't guarantee that will always be the case.
Mrs. gave me this a couple of weeks ago maybe now. I have yet to sit down and really go through it but it is very lovely. I will forsure be copying images from this for my own herb drawings, but also maybe I will learn about plants and what to do with them. I know so, so little about plants it's really kind of remarkable, especially given how my mum is super interested in horticulture and the house was always filled up with plants when I was a kid. Straight up ignored that shit, yo.
I remember my mum saying that she ignored her mother's gardening as a kid as well (did you say that, Mum, or am I making this up?) and was surprised by her interest in it later in life.
I'm not saying I'm going down that road, and I def still have a blind spot for most plants, but... I'm finding it more appealing, I guess.
I love my Second City class, still. In case you were wondering. It's so hard. Conservatory is so hard. And it's hard to bring in ideas for people to work on or shut down or change. I'm super bossy about what I find funny and what I want to do with my ideas, it's a challenge for me to calm down and trust other people to help or change or work with it.
A good challenge.
I'm trying to learn how to pitch my ideas so that I will be trusted and taken seriously about them. I'm trying to learn how to explain why I think it'll be funny and in what way.
I'm learning how to fight for my ideas and how to let other people work with them.
Hard!
And very interesting.
It's fascinating to me how quickly comedy has become insanely important to me. How did I avoid it for so long? How did I manage to pretend that it wasn't something I was that interested in actually pursing? So silly!
it's the best!
And guess what? I am pretty okay not bad at all really.
what a little pink face I am.
we talked breifly in improv class last night about our insecurities and, man, it's hard to even know where to start!
Good god damn, I'm insecure about everything about myself.
Except maybe... ha, nope, just thought about it for awhile and couldn't think of anything I'm not at least a little tiny bit insecure about.
Even things I know I'm good at like being a good friend or having a good sense of humour.
Anyway, taking photos of myself where I look way better than in real life is all part of that. I get it, I get it. Super self-indulgent. But, there you go.
part of all this self-obsession is maybe also that I can't seem to hold onto a concept of who I am. I find myself mesmerized by people in the subway wondering if that's what I look like, if that's what I sound like or act like. Even though I've seen myself on film lots of times, I can't comprehend how I must look to other people, I can't imagine what they would think of me.
ha, following up that last little ramble with this photo is just great. Look how seriously I can take myself.
I haven't worn this broach yet because I'm scared I'll lose it. It is a particularly lovely one, the leaves are my favourite part.
Okay, I'm going to go to a screening of A Small Thing (short I was in a few years ago) now just to see if there are any compliments that need to be thrown my way. Also to hang out with my bud I never get to see... and hopefully see some other good things.
But mostly for the attention.
I don't know if the photos contained in this entry make it completely clear or not, but I live off attention. Pretty much.
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