the kind of bad mood that seems fundamental, obvious, inherent, bone-based.
it's the kind of mood where I feel really really beautiful in scraggly hair, no make-up and in this ugly t-shirt, though the scratch of my nylons is almost impossible to take.
this bad mood that makes blogging impossible and makes partying pointless. even in my state of extreme inebriation last night, surrounded by a bunch of people I generally really like, I just felt annoyed and annoying and mean.
oh, I also feel fine. I feel really fine and okay and quiet on the inside a bit. and when I'm at home by myself avoiding doing the cleaning that needs to get done so that this place can be finally finished and re-decorated and nice again, I feel okay.
when I watch several hours of internet television in a row, I feel fine.
tempted to say that it's just the time of the month, but I'm not sure that's all. and I'm tempted to say it's just the time of year, but it's other things too. oh, of course. of course, it's just everything. and I'm just tired and I need a nap.
you have no idea how annoying I found this bit of bull when I read it back over. holy shit.
I'm really, really homesick.
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