tea in parking lots

I hung out with my friend JM yesterday. JM and I dated when I was 17 and he was 22. I had a big crush on him for around 2 years before then and did a good job on stalking him. Man, I wonder how people even don't realize what a creeper I am.
I first saw him at a show and I was holding my glasses in my hand and I noticed a babe holding his glasses in his hand as well. Dreamy! Ha, except I later found out that he didn't need glasses at all, he just wore them for his own jokes and to be taken more seriously as a musician. classic.



How we got together was that during the fringe fest that summer I was planning a big party up at my mum's piece of land by Redberry Lake and inviting everyone to come and camp out and party to the moon, that sort of thing. I'd been hanging around JM's work and stalking him at the jazz shows he was playing and he was playing the fringe all the time so I finally got up the nerve to give him a flyer about the party I was having. I didn't really expect him to come, but man was I proud of myself for getting around to inviting him.


But he did show up! By himself, no less (which I think was very, very brave, I would never have the balls to do something like that).
As soon as he showed up I basically ditched my entire party and took off with him. My mum's land is along a railway track and so JM and I wandered off down the rails, I closed my eyes and tried to balance on the rails so that he had to hold my hand to steady me.


We got a sleeping bag and took it to a barley field and lay it out, the barley was so high it supported the blanket in the air and we had to climb onto to it to flatten down the grains.

It started to rain and so we took the sleeping bag to his car and climbed in the back seat. A few people knocked on the windows and tried to bother us and tried to make us come out and join the party but I was having none of that. I just wanted to talk and make-out and sigh around, you know?
I actually have no idea what sort of party it was... probably fine?



JM and I dated for only about three months and I'd say it was pretty influential for me. JM was big into the Cohen Brothers movies and Tom Robbins novels and Steve Martin. We were both into mix tapes and tiny pictures and collages and specifics.



I was pretty heart-broken when JM broke up with me. That year was super tough as I had just finished high-school, one of my favourite people had died, and Toad had gone crazy and been hospitalized.
The best part about JM, though, is that he let me be angry with him, he let me cry at him and yell at him and run and throw my hat and be 17 at him. And liked it... or found it valuable. The honesty, I suppose.

Anyway, we were friends after that, better at times and worse at times.
I hadn't seen him in a long long while, though. And I was please at how much effort he put into getting to see me.
We had a nice time but I really wish I hadn't been feeling ill, it would have been a lot easier to have fun. We sat in the Centre Mall parking lot (like old days) and drank tea. We didn't talk about everything that we should have, he still is a bit of a stranger to me. But it was nice. With laughing.

He sent me this email today,
Hi Meredith, So nice to see you again yesterday. A bazillion things on my mind all day I would tell you. But it is unnatural to list them here. For now I can say that I think we have had and remain having a special connection and an interest in one another's lives and how we are doing them. I feel you caring, even if you will insist you are mean. I won't tell anyone, tho. I really like talking about things with you. I like the idea of true-at-the-moment. Honesty as a system, always changing, not a fixed point of reference to held to. I guess, then, the safety is in being real every day. Really yes or really no. Yeah, this kind of talk doesn't feel great in one-sided eformat. I wish we could drink tea in parking lots more often. The dream. Until next time, I'll be thinking of you.

Pretty nice. We did talk about honesty. And that is one of my theories. Also that you can love someone for however long. One minute, 2 weeks, 5 years. I like to go about feeling things and deciding things and then not being upset if they change. Not hating that things change..

JM once told me that I could tell anyone anything I wanted about him and about us because he would do his best not to do anything he was embarrassed of. This is a way of being that I've definitely adopted. And still respect. Hopefully he still means it.



I can't see the keyboard right now while I'm typing because there is an overly-large orange cat on my chest and he is refusing to move. mmmhmmmm.

I didn't even spend much time with people today and I'm still feeling socially overwhelmed. I'm so used to living on my own!
Also, until today I didn't have my own room in this house and I do not do well not having a bit of space and a door to close.

Things are okay, though. It does feel shitty to have any not-awesome days while I'm on vacation. But it's the pressure to have tonnes of fun that is stressful... Of course.


Happy Birthday officially now, MUM!!!
if you don't polish off that ginger cheesecake before you go to work don't be surprised if there's none left later!

it's five in Toronto luckily only three here

We made it through the wedding! Congrats to my aunt and her new husband, they were very cute and I had a super good time. We were all exhausted by this evening that it wasn't even funny. My aunt's sick and actually I had a headache so bad I thought I would throw up. And my stomach was completely fucked by how I was eating bits of gluten like it was no big deal. I don't know why I constantly think I am not allergic to gluten. Not the smartest!


Here are me and Rerun chilling out. These are from two nights ago but we look pretty much exactly the same right now. Such a dearface.

Haaaa Rerun's grumbly face is one of my all-time favourite things.


I took these photos in the airport in Toronto. Pearson now has free wifi! Niiice.
I just watched True Blood and ate some (rice) macaroni and cheese casserole. This is maybe the most alone time I've had since Wednesday. I should be asleep right now, but at least I had a three hour nap this evening to recover from my headache.

It's crazy how being around people affects me too much. People think that I party-all-the-time in Toronto because there's so much going on, but really if you're good at party then you can do it anywhere!


I frequently wonder if I would love the prairies as much if I actually lived here full-time. I don't think I'd appreciate it nearly as much if I had never left. That's for sure.

I am not kidding about wanting to live here again. I love Toronto and all, but man I breathe easier when I'm here. I breathe easier around my mum and family a bit too (even if they do drive me nuts).

I'm nowhere near being done with Toronto, but I am ready to spend more time in Saskatoon.
My friend Coriander from college never ever wanted to live in a smaller place like her mother, was very into being a big city girl and a famous actor and now she owns the sweetest flower shop in Parkdale and has just purchased a home in Belleville.
pretty funny/great!
It's only a failure if you quit trying to do something that you want to do. If you don't want to do it anymore then it's success.


In like 3 years (5 years) Mrs, Noodle, and I are going to have a book/gift/toy shop for kids and mums and then when that's going good I'm going to open up a brunch place in Saskatoon. Brunch is really only now starting to catch on in Saskatoon.

I've been to The Park Cafe twice already since being back.

Used to have a hard time deciding where to have lunch until this place came to be. Now I see people I know there every single time.

Black bean veggie burger or breakfast with fried eggs, hashbrowns, fruit cup. Yessssssssssssss.


On Thursday while everyone was at work or doing wedding stuff I meant to go to Value Village but instead I drove out to Warmen (easier to get to, traffic is insane in this city!) and went thrift shopping at the MCC Gift and Thrift. I got this dress! And a sweet black bunnyhug and a black purse and a gift for Mrs. and a gift for the newly weds and glassware for me!

Nice colour!

Oh yeah, Park Cafe gives you free suckers. I ran into this friend and made her take my picture. This is right outside the MCC furniture shop I was on my way to. I found some sweet things there as well.

I have to decide if I'm going to get one of the steamer trunks they have for sale there and if I should get the little blue one ($30) or the little black one with the tiny drawers and hangers ($50)....



Mum thinks I shouldn't take up all the space in the car with my steamer trunk but I waaaant one, I've been wanting a trunk forever, although i wouldn't mind a wooden one now that you mention it... hmm. I plan on making my mum stop in thrift stores across the country on our way back maybe I should wait and see...
RIVETING SHIT, THIS BLOG.

I still haven't seen some people I need to see but now that wedding weekend is over I have a few days for more socializing and more Saskatooning.

Oh yeah, also, since I'm going to be thrifting, I will also be looking for Christmas/birthday gifts, so if there's anything you need me to keep an eye out for then let me know!
seriously!

asleep but pretending to be awake

CongCholeeee I just all of a sudden got so tired that I almost fell asleep with my computer on my lap and holding my iphone.

Today i got out of my mum's car and I forgot that I had my iphone on my lap and I launched it right out off me onto the cement. Imagine if I had broken this phone after I only had it for like 2 weeks... yikes.



Ha, Carlos and I both got our mums to drive us to the punk rock show that was going on tonight. Pretttttty fun.



These photos are from last night we went to Scratch to visit Constantine because he was DJing. Haaa Const has fake glasses like my real glasses. Perfect.




It was a 60s dance party night and the music was just my favourite. Uh huh.
When I used to have a crush on Constantine years ago (for years) Niki and I went to sse him DJ (stalked him) and we would always request jungle boogie. Man, Jungle Boogie is the best, kind of.
Point being, he played it for me last nigh.



I loooove SteveDave. And Constantine. But I've been especially thinking about how much I love Steve. She and her BF spend all their time in Bali and now I really want to go too! maaaaaaybe.


Ohhh jeeze my eyes are fully closing on their own as I write this and they are pretty much unable to stay open...



My aunt's getting married tomorrow! I want to get married just to get all the gifts. Just kidding, it's the love that sounds good. 

Saskahome

At flint right now visiting steve-dave, I miss this woman when we're not together in a really strange way like when you're thirsty and don't even realize it, maybe that doesn't make sense..
I'm running on the 2.5 hours of sleep I got on the plane this morning. The good news is that I mostly cleaned my apartment! Now when mum drivese home she won't be fully disgusted by me! Hurrah!

Also I made pumpkin soup and baked mac n cheese casserole for dinner for the family.. I'm pretty surprised there isn't a line-up to be my husband!

wanna know what I wear for a hat? A lentil!

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

This video is so amazing, it was shared so many times all over facebook I had to look at it. It's my favourite thing to think about right now. Whenever I see something I like this much I feel furious that I am not doing things this funny.
Also, I want to be on SNL too like Jenny Slate. Can I???

Also, I want to do voices. Should I pay to get a voice demo reel done? It'll be only $600 or so dollars. WHY DOES EVERYTHING COST TOO MUCH MONEY??
It's funny how "annoying" voices are popular in voice over work. Maybe people are wrong about my voice being annoying, they actually love it (probably not).
haahaaha I just listened to my voice demo from college and laughed. Why can't I upload an mp3 to blog? Blog is dumb.

One time I found out a guy I thought I was pretty chill with really disliked me, mostly because of my voice. Buzzzzkill. Also kind of fair. I should talk deeper. Or at least get less excited about things and shriek less! Just kidding, I obviously won't.


I took a fucking picture of the fucking CN fucking tower.


Hey this friend, Flash Gordon (I just texted her and asked what she wanted to be called and that's what she answered, I don't know why, also she said Disco Tits), is a voice actor. Also with a high-pitched kid voice. I love it.

She's the friend who wrote the Fringe play I did a couple of summers ago. We work together at both the skydome and the ACC. She has the same real name as Mrs. and they are kind of similar and I find it very fun to put them side by side and compare them. haaahaha. If anyone got a new bff named Meredith I would lose my shit.


We went out after work last night to Lonestar and then to Gabby's on King. I never drink down near work. What a dearth of babes, eh! Except the ones we were with, of course. Skydome's finest!


Ha, one's name was Luff and that lead us to yell I LUFF LUFF over and over again. Haaaa we were so happy.


I luff Flash Gordon, she's too funny. But it's the kind of funny that I am hard-pressed to be able to explain. I'm going to start keeping track of it better, though. So we can use it!

One friend we were out with was talking about this girl he was hung up on and maaaaan did he ever sound like me talking about my babe issues. I love when boys want to talk relationships!
I feel like most boys secretly want to talk about relationships. And I think talking about things is the best way of going about stuff. But obviously, obviously that's how I am!


Yesterday I got suuuuper into cleaning and organizing my bathroom. What the hell, hey?
I am much, much better at the decorating part than I am at the cleaning part. No patience!

I was getting super annoyed at the ugly plastic handsoap bottle and so I wandered around my place looking for something else and I found this glass bottle and LIKE MAGIC the pump fit right on it and screwed right together!

haaaaa the little shorts I'm wearing look like a crumpled diaper sort of. Oh well, too late/funny to fix that now! Yessss I do realize I need to clean the mirror, still.
I also need to clean the whole rest of the house plus pack! HOoly shit I should not have been wasting this whole day at the computer.

whatever.
FUCKING TAPIOCA PUDDING TIME.

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SASKATOON IN THE MORNING! yiiyiiiiiieeiieiiee

her love aint easy it changes with seasons

Lately I feel like there's been a vast amount of funny/great videos I want to repost here for youall but if I post them all at once then you won't watch any of them! You're tricky like that I know I know.

SWEEEEEEEET THING MUSIC VIDEO



Ohhhhh I love this song (still kind of hung up on how I like bits in the first version better but I like some of the new bits more...) and this video is pretty perfect and man do these guys look like BABE CITY or what?

The singer, especially, we will call him..... Swagger, looks so good in this video. I've never had a crush on Swagger (but I love being buds with him), I've just always made jokes about it, he's a good sport like that, plus everyone else has a crush on Swagger so what would be the point? but, man, this video almost has me convinced.
They all look so great and warm, which they mostly are in real life, so it's fitting. And this video is fun and silly in a perfect way for this particular band.






The other day I was having a nap and then CBC radio 2 came on to wake me up and they were playing such a good mix like Blue Rodeo then Sam Roberts and then Sweet Thing came on. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.



Sweet Thing is touring this fall and you should definitely go to see them and bring all of your friends because it's the best dance party and even better when there's a crowd! So fun!



Oh lordy, still so many photos from the show to post. But I am tired now!