I am remarkably tired. I would even say that I am exhausted. My face keeps flushing because I'm so tired. Coool I'm glad I have to work soon!
I'm back and happy to be in Toronto (I think I love it here) but I am a bit nervous about this winter-after-christmas bullshit. It's this time of year where I'm most subject to being sad, depressed, broke, and lazy. I'm working on a few things to help waylay this sadness, though.
Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going on babe-break right away here. It's about time. I think I might have said I was going on babe-break this fall but I definitely didn't get around to it.
I've been getting really tired of drama and of my own bad decisions and other people's bad decisions and how no one is treating each other right. Not just with me but with everyone I know. I find (for myself) it's necessary to take a time out every once in awhile. I'm going to bench-warm.
Although... that's part of the problem. I want to be a person who doesn't need to go on a babe-break. I want to be a person who chooses wiser, treats people better, and has crushes who are kind.
I have a bit of a theory that most men (as ridiculous as it sounds. and this theory actually goes against all I wish to believe) consider women they're attracted to in two sorts of groups: women who would be girlfriends and women who they'd cheat on their girlfriends with (or never be serious with, in general).
At some point I would like to be a girlfriend. And a good girlfriend. A good partner to someone at some point.
Am I admitting that I want a relationship? Possibly.
I am having a very hard time saying that I do. And I really want to qualify it with "at some point" or "eventually" or "only with the best babe ever", etc etc.
But the truth is that I want a partner in crime and some babies.
ADMITTED IT TO THE INTERNET. NOW UNIVERSE PROVIDE, PLEASE.
I came very very close to missing my flight this morning!
By some miracle they let me through. Probably because it was Westjet. But probably more so because then we sat on the tarmac for another hour before we got to leave. Some lightbulb somewhere in the plane was burnt out or something and they had to fix it.
I spoke to the one person who seemed to be running around the lines at the airport and I asked if he worked for westjet. He didn't confirm but he told me I was in the right line then told me patronizingly that he "really hoped" I'd make it onto my flight.
I realized later that he was working for another airline entirely. What a little shit!
It was kind of funny because I was shocked that someone as rude as him would work for Westjet, it was a relief to find out he doesn't actually.
Noodle came to pick me up from the airport which was suuuper swell. We got to catch up a bit. I haven't seen enough of her lately, she is pretty funny.
Now I'm vegging out and wishing that I'd had a nap this afternoon. I was afraid I'd wake up more tired if I had a nap but I can't really imagine being more tired than I am now.
I had a good Saskatoon visit. I wish I hadn't forgotten all my necklaces hanging up in my room there.
I didn't get to see as much of some people as I would have liked and it always makes me miss people more when I see them so briefly.
But had a lot of great food great fam great gifts. Which is pretty much what the holidays are about.
I'm a bit sad that Christmas is over but the good thing about Christmas is that it always comes again.
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