red, beet red

Anyone who is a blusher knows about blushing and how it's one of the most annoying things ever. It's terrible, really! It's completely involuntary and obvious and frustrating.

The best part about my blushing is that it only happens for strange reasons:

1. I'm speaking French (I cannot speak French without blushing, I don't know why.. maybe I feel like I'm trying to do something I have no business doing and I'm about to be called out on it? Also, how am I going to live in Montreal?)

2. I'm recognized by someone while at work who knows me from somewhere else. Like if I run into past co-workers who I barely know while I'm working at ACC, I just blush forever. Or if it's someone I went to high-school with or met through friends or something, blush-city.

3. I lift my arms above my head. My mum laughed at me so hard when she first noticed this phenomenon (I was doing my hair). Thanks, mum.

4. I think someone thinks that I have a crush on them.
Notice how that is different than "I have a crush on them" no, it's only when I think that someone thinks that I am checking them out/have a crush on them. I almost never blush when I actually think someone's attractive (I'm far more likely to be rude/mean/over-friendly/standoffish). But say I'm serving a customer at work and it occurs to me that they think they are good looking (usually I don't agree) then I start to blush thinking that they assume that I also think they're good looking.
How weird is that?
I'm insane.

Anyway, so number 4 on that list has totally got me in an awkward fix at work right now. And I honestly don't know how to get out of it.

Okay I'll go through it for you:

Tim (not his real name) is a beer porter that I've worked with in a peripheral sort of way for however many years. I have never once even considered Tim. Why? Because he's just not my type. He's very nice and fairly good-looking but I've never heard him say anything particularly interesting/funny... he's great, I'm sure, just not my type.

So my friend at a stand beside mine is talking to Tim one day and she says something about me and I look up and Tim's like "oh I never really talk to her" and I'm like "yeah I guess that's true" and so he sort of wanders over to my stand and then my friend is like "aww you two would look so cute together".
Cue the blushing.
I have no interest in Tim, but being put on the spot like that is super awkward.
So then Tim hangs around for a bit after that, definitely notices that I'm blushing. Now he thinks I like him. I avoid him.

Next shift I go to check the time left on the clock and have to go a bit into the arena to see. Guess who else is on the steps, peeking in on the game? Tim!
Now it looks like I've specifically gone over there to be near him!
I excuse myself quickly and head back to the stand. I start to tell my co-workers this story and then they ask which porter (I didn't even know his name at this point, that's how little interest I've had in him) and so we're sort of looking about trying to find him, then my co-worker finds him and is like, oh is that him? and I confirm and I go back to telling my story. I neglected to notice that, of course, it looks to him like I've gone back to my stand to confide in my co-workers about how in love with him I am!!

Later I go to get food and bring my food to eat close to my stand and who happens to be nearby? TIM. Oh for christsakes, so he comes sauntering over to ask what I'm having for dinner and of course because the whole thing is so awkward i start blushing!
Classic!
I excuse myself pretty quickly and head back to my stand. Awhile later he comes by again to say something else about nothing to me and I blush again!
What the hell is wrong with me??
I'm so dumb!
I also ran into him on my way out of the building, twice! I haven't been this good at creeping on guys I actually liked!  Ugh!

Now this guy for sure thinks I'm in love with him and is on the verge of asking me out (I can tell) and how the hell do I get out of this situation?
I'm thinking I'll just try to avoid him? I don't know...
Asked advice from my co-workers but they fully will not believe that I do not have any interest in this guy. The resounding answer to my problem was to go out on a date with him!

Good thing I'm still in junior high, hey?
Thanks a lot, blush-face.

At least it's keeping me amused, I guess.

Man, I hate blushing, though. I hate it. I also hate it when people point out that you're blushing (any time you blush). Like you can't tell your own damn self.


Oh, on the note about embarrassing, awkward situations, I keep meaning to re-mention The Bitter End, I know a bunch of you have watched and love it, but if you haven't seen all of it, you really should:

The Bitter End - EPISODE 6: Business Trip from The Bitter End on Vimeo.
This is the end episode, but visit their site for the rest of them if you need to see the early ones (you do).
Poppy emailed me just to tell me how he was having a hard time watching this show because of the awkwardness. But in a good way? That sort of makes sense.
Apparently the Montreal Gazette called in the funniest Canadian sitcom of the year.
I can't think of a better one.
Also, I just can't get over how great it is that they made it all themselves and created their own work and fucking stepped up to the motherfucking plate and got 'er done. ya know?
Oh yeah, and there's babes in the show!
Reason enough, right?

I stayed up real late writing last night. I am a good worker (this once. and I had to disconnect myself from the internet in order to get anything done).